Being withdrawn

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I have always had a problem with being pretty severely withdrawn around others. I'm just wondering if there's anyone else here who deals with this and has maybe overcome it at least to a degree. I can picture in my mind being less withdrawn around others. But I'm never able to put it into practice.

It is a matter of practice and experimentation. That involves stress and failure along the way.

As you get experience in the world, your ability to be less withdrawn will be enhanced.

Do you have a great desire to engage with the world---or are some people trying to influence you to be that way?

You're probably gaining this desire through your interactions here, and on other forums. This is an almost inevitable result of interacting with people online: the concurrent desire to interact with people in person.

Yes, I experience the same.
I can only be less withdrawin when around my family, any other people seems to repell me. I still don't know how to deal with it tho.

I am often very withdrawn socially. it's a daily stressor since I work in a busy office, and people are very chatty here. By now they've gotten the idea that I just am not down to chit chat, and they leave me alone, mostly.

I do want to talk to them more, I think they would like it if I were more involved. But I feel safer and more in control if I stay in my cube and not become involved. It's just so hard to get started. I have an image for how this works in my head.

I imagine there is a psychic membrane, like the surface tension of water or another liquid. And I have to break through that membrane in order to engage with others. This includes looking people in the face and smiling rather than looking at the ground, which is what I do 99/100 times. If i can break through that membrane I can engage and say hello and even talk. But what often happens is I don't break through, I bounce off, and I end up feeling really awkward with a sort of mumbling half engagement and I end up just feeling like a weirdo.

Maybe this means I am shy. Idunno. I live in my head most of the time.

sorry if these thoughts are disorganized.

I seem to only have negative experiences with humans so I really keep to myself. I find the dance people do to be fake and dishonest. I have had people manipulate me in the past to get what they want and I have anxiety around new people as a result. I guess I have trust issues I should discuss with my therapist.

It's hard to not know what others know.

I'm even distant and aloof around family. I don't know why. It's just the way I am. I don't engage unless I need something. According to others I'm like a blind person because I'm usually looking away. And that I automatically back away when someone starts coming near me. I'm okay with physical affection from my parents, but I don't return it. It's like I'm a robot.

I have been terribly withdrawn for the majority of the past four years. It must be utterly horrendous to be around me because I offer absolutely nothing to other people. I don't understand people's vehemence and emotions towards things that are happening in the world, and I cannot offer any constructive advice to anyone as I am as clueless as they come in practical terms. I was expecting these withdrawn periods to become far less frequent as I grew older, but it has been quite the contrary. From an outsider's perspective, I must seem like either a stroppy teenager or a mentally challenged oaf.

However, I cannot discern if it's depression, 'autistic burnout', both or something else entirely.

Times I've been withdrawn was:
-Unwillingness, which may not happen anytime soon because I still want to learn and I'm bored.
Any form of willingness will do, and curiosity is a good start. Though there may be other factors to obstruct this.

-Fear and worry induced anxiety from all the failures accumulated.. That I already overcame long time ago and failed to come back at me.
This is very tricky to overcome. Even harder in case of ASD. It requires some form unlearning/relearning, gradual realization and acceptance. 'Coping' through persistence and meds is a short term short cut.

-Perhaps, strong emotions. Too strong to respond and respond to... Which isn't common and does not stick for too long in my case.
This requires enough maturity to master. And enough introspection to understand.

-Being overwhelmed. Also rare in my case.
It's about how the mind and body takes the input, sensitivity or not. Depending on your needs if it requires moderation or something specific.

-Being exhausted. In any ways - physically, mentally, emotionally.. Also rare. Too rare in my case. I happened to have more stamina and rarely get sick or weak.
It's about moderation, knowing your own limits, and when and how to take a break. And more factors how to conserve and spend less energy, or extend energy.

-Mentally too preoccupied or too focused on something else. This is the closest reason why I might withdrawn.
To overcome this, means to tolerate change or through adaptation. And able to switch gears, which is very jarring when done wrong.

-Certain fulfillments to expand 'territory' or comfort zones. Let's just say more than 6 years ago, I only have my room, my house and my family. Then the school, my house, the faculty staff, and my family. And eventually ended up pacing across the whole village, and then the whole city and with strangers.
This takes time and experience. LOTS of it. But this part helps in the long run.

-Sometimes... It's nothing.
Even so, people presence still bothers me somehow that is if I simply want to withdraw without the reasons above. Especially when I'm not really in a mood to entertain anyone. But there's no anxiety or what thought. Annoyance more likely.
More like being invaded by the physical presence itself (not the people themselves or their actions), though I can take it. At worst, I just stop what I was doing and move somewhere else.

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