20 year old AS son wants to travel from AU to US. Help!

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My 20 year old AS son has decided he wants to travel to America on his own (LA) to meet someone he has met online.
He even found himself a job (with lots of help) so he could save up the money to go.
He wants to go for one week, at the end of July, negotiate the plane trip (which he hates) negotiate LaX, find a place to stay and see this friend of his and then come home. We don't know anyone over there, and this whole idea is making me extremely nervous.
The last time he was on a plane it was a trip to Sydney ( 1 hour) and that went well, but we went together and it took lots of planning.
He has light and audio sensitivity issues, and I have horrible thoughts of him being arrested for suspicious behaviour on the plane, as he will be extremely anxious and nervous, to him being completely taken advantage of in LA due to his naievity.

I don't think there is any chance of talking him out of this crazy scheme.
Any ideas on what I can do?

Consider this a free bump. You can get Autism cards, maybe print one?


DISCLAIMER: I live in the U.K.

I also used the word maybe.

Last edited by sigholdaccountlost on 25 May 2007, 5:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

How bad is he? I know that sounds kind of bad i mean i have gone to spain on my own from the UK even though i was anxious i got through ok and i am glad i did it i know from AUS to USA is a long way but maybe give him a chance?

No way i wouid use a Autism card can you imagine at US customs so sir you are ret*d?

I usually take sleeping pills on the plane, and have a couple of drinks...of course in moderation though....although i couldnt sleep on the 3 hour or 2 hour flights i was on, it still relaxed me a great deal...oh yeah and the Autism cards may help as well...


LA can be a scary place indeed...my advice is to do a lot of research of where you are looking to stay and find out the high crime areas for there are many in LA...I live about 100 miles away in San Diego and I wont go unless an emergency or i am with someone who knows there way around....

Yeah I would be stressed to travel under any situation and more so if I was alone. Plus
there is the added problem of facing rejection when he meets his friend in LA.

I would ideally want some medication like valium to reduce the travel anxiety. If he does gets some make sure its in a real rx bottle with his name on it.

I'm not sure what an Autism card is, but yeah I don't think he would use it.
He will wear a medic alert bracelet, so I guess that would help if they found him unconcious somewhere.
Well, he is bad enough to give me serious concerns. He has never travelled on his own before. He doesn't get the bus into the city on his own, let alone a plane trip to LA!
He wouldn't ask for help if he found himself in some sort of trouble. I just don't think he even gets how dangerous it is in LA either.

If he determined enough he could do it. I hate airports and international terminals. I remember being pulled over by a plain clothes customs officer at waterloo coming back from Paris because I was having a panic attack. A also lost my ticket, which was doubly embarrassing. He was about to take me to do an interview and I had a brain flash and i said mentioned was a dependant of a diplomat, he looked in my passport and let me go. I would suggest he just say that he is autistic if somebody questions his behaviour. I got through it and hasn't and won't stop me.

PLEASE! Don't make him more nervous by getting all jumpy yourself. Not saying you will just could happen. If he ask for advice just give him the best that you can.

I would say he needs to find a place to stay before he books the flight. Get recommendations of a place that is near where he needs to be. Also he needs a plan B if this person isn't who they say they are. Always meet up first in a public place. He can go to his doctor and ask for some drugs to make the flight more pleasant. Don't mention to the airline that he is AS. Some airlines have been known to refuse deaf people on flights because they don't want the liability.

Ironically enough, I have a similar plan going, although it's in a postponed state right now. I've been in love with another WP user, Starbuline, for quite some time, but we have the Pacific separating us and so would love to meet. Our theoretical plan is that she flies from the airport in her area to Auckland (the only airport in NZ that can take International flights). I fly up to meet her, and then we fly back down to Wellington together. Reverse the process for the return trip.

If he is giving you concerns, then I think it's a good idea if you come along with him, but if he won't be comfortable with that, then there isn't a lot of point having him leave. The better option after that would be for HER to fly to where you guys are instead. It helps a lot if they have actually seen each-other, you know, via a webcam on MSN like me and Starbuline have, so that he can get used to what she looks like and stuff like that, and if there's a mic, her own voice.

Cards may be IGNORED!! !! !! Many LIE to get paid, etc.... Anyway, most won't understand.

FIRST, realize, a lot of people are IDIOTS! People WILL seem to go out of their way to knock him down, so he should be alert.

Concessions vary WIDELY, so he should be aware of available food, etc....

*******BRING EARPLUGS*******! The US airline system is run by pretty stupid people that don't care, so the jetway doors have alarms but few can disarm them, and they are likely to go off.

Lights may blink, EVEN on the airplane, though the airplane lights usually run better after the engines start.

I THINK he can fly straight to LAX. If he does, the concourses will be logically laid out. They are SUPPOSED to have only one international terminal. I don't think that is actually the case, but it is supposed to be.

If he can, have him use the electronic boarding pass kiosks. It will allow him to bypass MOST of the crowds.

As for the plane? Rest or something. There are some words you are FORBIDDEN to say! Simply saying BOMB on a plane or at an airport could get you LOCKED UP!

BTW Let the airlines know about his problem.

You can bring NO containers of liquids bigger than 3ml, but they mus all fit, AND BE IN, a 1QT ziplock bag! Don't try to reason that, or improvis, etc... The airport "security" is too stupid to even allow a 1PT bag! And don't even ask about their "reasoning". It will drive you INSANE, all the circular garbage.

Steve

I think it is fantastic your adult son has planned and is carrying through travel to another country. I wish I had done the same when I was his age. I am really impressed that even though he is probably nervous, he is going for it. I think it is fantastic and I am sure that another country will be an eye opener for him and he'll bring back many great and irreplaceable memories!

shivani,click onto this page:
http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=522&a=6234
is autism card by UKs national autistic society,something like that-one by a countries national autistic society might have more say than one that has just been made and printed off as it's got their name on it.
This is the actual card and wallet,it's like a travel pass:
http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=624&a=6513

It says the difficulties and differences the person has,so they are not shot for acting differently.

i went to the USA last August from Australia and going into the USA I got overwhelmed and had a meltdown I showed them my AS card and it did work. I think it is a great backup if needed but other than that I say let him go and have a good time.

LAX is a big pain in the butt! However, if your son is determined, he can overcome most difficulties. Good luck to your son! I would like to travel to London for the 2012 Olympics, but I am nervous about the idea of traveling alone. It would be nice to meet some of my English friends on the cat site, too.

Yes, you are right.
I have spoken to him further, and he has done some research into Visas and local accomadation and such. I asked him what he would do if he couldn't get the time off work and he said, all he is going to do is do is the best he can to get there, and if it doesn't work out, well at least he will know he has done everything he possibly can to make it work.
But he is determined. Yes he is nervous, but I know that determination will get him through so much.

Perhaps I am underestimating him?
It is always easy for me, as his mum to just think of the negative aspects for him.
Not the positive experience that it will be.
Perhaps I should just have more faith.

Do you think you could give me some more information on what it was like for you travelling from AU to USA.? I am very interested in what worked and what didn't.
Did you get the Autism card from Australia?
I would really appreciate any info you could give me.
If you prefer to pm me that's ok too.

Also, thanks for all the great ideas others have posted. I think the Autism card may be of real value. Also the earplugs and sleeping tablets on the plane. I just worry about him freaking out on the plane or at the airport and officials in these situations tend to act first and ask questions later.
He may have trouble understanding the American accent too!

ive left before and my mom didnt care. congrats on careing, let him go. the only way someone will learn is to do/ i understand your worry, hes an adult. let him f-up. welcome him back when he does