Getting a diagnosis or not

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Hello everyone!

I'm new here and I've suspected being on the spectrum for a while. Actually I've been obsessing about it for the last year and a half. So I've got an appointment set for next week for an assessment, but I've just lost my job due to my general social ineptitude, so I can't really afford the assessment anymore. I was really counting on that money and I was trying really really hard, but I got fired again. So my boyfriend offered to lend me the money, so at least I might finally know why I struggle so much, but also I've been really struggling to keep jobs lately (I've been doing hospitality...) so I'm not sure if it's a good idea. Would you say that getting a diagnosis actually helped you in any way or did it feel to you like just a piece of paper you didn't really need that much? I'd really want a diagnosis 'cause I want to be sure about something for once and have some peace of mind, but maybe I should try be more sensible...

Help me please!!

Having proof of a diagnosis would do much more than just give you peace of mind. It could provide many job opportunities or even give companies the information they need to help you work to the best of your abilities. I have personal experience with this, where the people at the company I worked at knew of my diagnosis and it allowed them to be able to work with me rather than against me. They understood the awkward social moments and the trouble I had with communicating, and they were able to provide work that fit around those complications. In time, as I got used to the people I worked with, my ability to communicate started to improve, and I was able to move out of my comfort zone.

If you're looking for a job, I would suggest researching places that are looking for people on the spectrum, as they would be able to provide you the right environment to work in. I'm not sure if they would require proof of a diagnosis, but if you're confident that you are on the spectrum, it can't hurt to check it out. As far as other places go, have you tried openly explaining your suspicions and how you need the money for a diagnosis? It could work in your favor if the companies you apply to know how you work to the best of your ability. If anyone has another opinion on the subject or an actual experience, it would be interesting to hear how it turned out. I'm not sure if being open about it is beneficial, but lying about it or hiding it can't be too much better.

Aside from social ineptitude, what other symptoms are you aware of? Knowing whether you are NT or on the spectrum will help guide you in the right direction. Sometimes just understanding yourself can open the gateway to many new possibilities, and being confused about who you are can hold you back. So if getting the diagnosis can clear up the confusion, what do you have to lose?

Hopefully you will get a new job soon. If not you need a diagnosis to get disability benifits.

you might have an Asperger's. you might not have Asperger's.

if you get tested, the psychologist might give you the wrong diagnosis. the psychologist might fail to give you the right diagnosis.

the psychiatrist that tested me did the Rote Memory portion. he recited ten digits (for example, 735 456 2235) and told me to recite it backward. and i got a full (maximum) score on that portion. however, among all the 10 digit numbers he gave me, they all had San Diego area codes. so it was easier to get a higher score in the Rote Memory portion. and a strong Rote Memory score is a function of autism.

so, any diagnosis you get is official. but not every diagnosis you might get is correct.

sometimes, one professional makes one diagnosis. and a different professional makes a different diagnosis.

second opinion


if you request reasonable accommodations, per American Disabilities Act (in united states), you need an official diagnosis. but, what is reasonable is subjective. and, in previous jobs, i could not imagine any reasonable accommodations that would've helped. usually, either (1) i can do the job fine without accommodations or (2) i could not do the job, with or without accommodations.

the older i get, the more jobs fall under (2).

if you apply for government benefits, you need an official diagnosis.

if you apply for testing accommodations at school, you need an official diagnosis.

if you go through Dept of Rehab, you need an official diagnosis.

but in terms of borrowing money to get a diagnosis. there is something wrong with everything you do.

you might borrow the money, get tested, and not get a diagnosis. but maybe you still have Asperger's, but the professional failed to identify it. then you owe the money you borrowed, you have no job, and no diagnosis.

you might not borrow the money, not get tested. then you could never even request reasonable accommodations. and that might make it harder to keep a job.

it's a balance between being practical and being idealistic.

Well there's a long list of things, but mainly social and communication difficulties, such as not knowing how to make friends for most of my younger life and freezing and not being able to talk when unconfortable, very pronounced physical clumsiness, and terrible executive functioning, so no ability to multitask, bad short term memory, face blindness, difficulty transitioning from one task to another. Basically not the best hospitality worker I'm gonna go to the assessment and I think I really need to try to find a job in a different field.

Logically there seems to be something wrong with all of my options, so I guess I'll just have to pick one. Getting an assessment is probably the option that gives me more possibilities for some progress, even if it's just a tiny bit of self awareness. Thanks for your answer and all the info

If you CAN get the DX, I strongly recommend it. At first I didn't feel like my DX was much help to me, but afterwords I started to make lists of the things I do / others can help me with to help me be my best. Once I realized all my strengths and the things I needed to work on my life got much better and I became more happy and confident in myself.

With the DX you can list out your needs & accommodations with your work. You can be honest with your limitations, as long as you really are trying. This DX has set me free to be myself and has let me learn something that I was missing - self compassion/love/self acceptance.

ALWAYS list out your strengths FISRT when making lists and don't list more areas of improvements than strength.

Below is a list I made for a meeting with my new boss:

Icebreaker

I want to help you see a true picture of me, an individual with some unique strengths and talents, but I do have a few small requests. These things I ask, will allow me to continue my work as an efficient employee.

Strengths
· VERY task oriented - if I have all the information, I figure out how to do them with little direction. I'm good at creating a task list and sticking to it item by item. I do a ton of SMALL tasks and keep track of all of them.
· Self teacher - Good at figuring things out on my own. Often, I am better off figuring out most complex tasks on my own vs having someone show me how to do something.
· I am eager to learn just about anything.
· Honesty - I'm honest, almost to a fault AND have NO poker face. Dishonesty in general makes me uneasy and I tend to avoid people who lie.
· Up front / direct communication.
· I'm here to work not socialize. Sometimes, if I'm honest, being social is more work than the work itself. Regardless, I love the team and really enjoy my job. It doesn’t feel like work.
· I don't socialize much even outside of work. Maybe once or twice a month.
 
Needs / Communication
· Text - I prefer email or Slack. Because I communicate best using text and a keyboard but can do well in face to face meetings with time to prepare.
· Please be direct with me. I don't need things sugarcoated, and am not sensitive and don't take things personally. I don't pick up on hints naturally. So please just pretend I am a man and be direct with me. (lol - jk)
· Instructions. If you need to give me direction verbally, realize that I must take notes. Please don’t' give me tasks if I don't have something handy for notes (most of the time I have at least my phone on me).
· Be honest with me. Give me ALL feedback in a clear way, and always let me know if you see a way that I can improve on something.
Come to me. I'm open to feedback. Tell me if you feel like I've done something rude, please? It is never intentional and is often a misunderstanding.