Autism & Masking Questions

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I was hoping for personal insight into how masking works and comes about.

Is it just a learned behaviour that comes about from trial and error.

Does it come from observing the world around you , seeing what works and mimicking it.

Is it something that you might learn as a young child.

I have often been told I am the sanest person in the room when I actually feel that I'm the only one in the room who needs psychiatric help.

Is it possible to glean the sanest qualities you see around you and adopt those qualities ( or at least make it appear that you have those qualities ).

I think because I grew up surrounded by women I have adopted an almost feminine mask - maybe I'm being sexist by associating these qualities to females only. I could just be a sensitive guy.

I think I am having a bit of an identity crisis trying to work out what is masking and what is me.

I'm having a hard time distinguishing what is just 'normal' behaviour and what is autistic behaviour as I believe everyone has a mask of sorts i.e acting more social than they really are especially in work - maybe not.

Is the difference between an autistic and non-autistic mask the amount of brain power needed to carry it off and the effects it has on you from prolonged use.

I am not familiar with use of the term "masking", but I have always been like a chameleon and logic suggests that is the same thing. Hence, my actual identity is the person behind whatever "mask" or color might be showing at the moment and even though other people might never know what they are presently seeing from their side is merely the current skin.

I think it is "normal" to do what we reasonably can to "fit in", as such, and as opposed to insisting, demanding, expecting or assuming everyone else should adjust to "fit" with us.


Possibly, and in my own case because I care about consistency-of-character in how I present myself in differing situations where it seems many people do not.

I think my difficulty is differentiating between my actual identity and 'mask' , I could just be having a minor depersonalization spell though.

Understood, and I should have mentioned that I do not like to look at myself in a mirror because I do not know "who" I see there (including a full beard to hide my baby face) as compared to my mental perception of the man behind my actual skin. I do know my own personal character, however, so I just stick with that as actual identity.

For me, masking was due to a constant search for an identity that fit, but also fit into what I thought the world wanted, who I could be to be someone that could fit in. I was obsessed with finding who this so called hidden popular person was, so I tried on masks of who I wanted to be. It would happen sort of randomly. I would see someone I admired or a character that I could identify with and try to act like that 24/7. If it wasn't a character it was an ideology. I could only hold this for a week or two at the most and then it became so tiring and revolting that I would reject and throw it off. This was until I considered seriously the possibility of me having autism. Now I don't use masks anymore.

I think masking is probably common because you need to put one on to fit in with NTs in a lot of situations.

Thanks for your input.

I guess I'm not going to really know until my assessment

I feel like Number 5 on this site