Can't Feel Love

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Anyone else have this problem? When my mom or dad says I love you or hugs me, I don't feel anything towards it. I know they love me, but I cant feel it, so sometimes it feels like I'm emotionally neglected and forgotten.

There are times when a family member will tell me that they love me or give me a gift but I don't feel like I deserve it because of past mistakes I've made so I almost feel uncomfortable with their expression of love. This isn't all the time though and there are times when I feel genuinely loved and am moved by their expression of love.

I have always had the same problem. Family members say they love me, but I have never felt it, so I can't really relate to it. This issue is made worse by two other problems. First, I don't like being touched, and secondly, the same people who tell me that they love me are also the same people who have constantly criticized me and run me down my whole life. They don't see the conflict in the two different behaviors they aim at me. Is it any wonder that I have trouble believing them when they say that they love me? Or that I can't feel this love that they say they feel for me? I have come to a time in my life where I just maintain a polite, civil, and somewhat friendly attitude toward them when I must be with them, and I also go thru the motions of hugging, but there is no real feeling behind my hugging them, as I can neither feel anything from them, nor beiieve in their actually having any loving feelings toward me.

I have never been able to feel love from other people, so I find myself unable to give them love. I have been fond of pets that I have had, but that's because the only love I was ever able to feel was from my pets.

Unfortunately, due to health problems, I am no longer able to have a pet, and miss having one, but it wouldn't be fair to an animal to keep it now that I am no longer able to take care of one.

I can't either, though I think in my case it's due to having been hurt too many times. Somehow, vaguely, I'm aware that I was capable of feeling love when I was younger, but I can't even remember what that felt like. I survive by detaching, withdrawing, expecting nothing, trusting no one, and in that way I can't be disappointed.

Not saying this is the ideal way to be, but it's where I am these days.

Do you mean feeling love from your parents or can't feel love for them?

I quite often don't "feel" the emotions I have. Like not feeling any stress before an exam, only need to go to the bathroom every five minutes. That's because of my low emotional intelligence. Feeling what I really feel required training

And love is much more than an emotion or a feeling. Love is about decisions. Support. Trusting. Caring. So not feeling anything at a certain moment means hardly anything. Feeling angry, disappointed or other "negative" emotions towards the ones you love doesn't cancel the love, too.

I can't really feel love; be it for my friends, family, or any of my relationships. Closest I come is sort of a conscious liking and awareness of being happy in their presence.

My view is that everybody loves in their own unique way (I fully agree with magz's post), and make your own definition of what it means to love someone. I used to hesitate when telling someone that I loved them back, because I knew that I loved differently, but now I just accept that my "conscious liking" is how I experience love.

Now, it is up to someone else whether or not what I can give is enough for them (whether it matches how they define love) but I can't change this part of myself (nor do I want to).

NOTE: I have decided that romantic relationships aren't something I need or am interested in. This has much more to do with my desire for self-sovereignty than with my abilities. I fully believe healthy, happy relationships are possible for someone with reduced capacity to feel love - as long as both parties are honest about their needs and abilities.

I feel like I am also guilty of this issue as well. I am looking for a relationship, and when it comes to my parents I try my best to show emotion, but whenever I do it just doesn't seem to come out correctly. I know there is a stereotype going around that people who are on the spectrum are robotic in many ways, and this may be the reason why. The regulator in the brain that controls emotions is impaired in someone on the spectrum.

My advice to you, would be to show love and emotions to the best of your ability. If you (or anyone else with the same issue) wants a relationship, then you will either have to work harder to show emotion or explain to them that due to AS, you have trouble with emotions but this doesn't mean you don't love them unconditionally, it just means you express love in different ways.

Ultimately, if all else fails, you can get a pet, but be aware of the responsibilities you will have to take care of it, and look after it. However, it is a remedy for loneliness if you feel like you'd be ill-equipped for a relationship.

As for my issues with it, I just feel like my tone of voice doesn't signal I am in love with someone very easily, and I realize I have trouble changing my tone of voice to an excited tone, I generally still seem to have the same tone of voice I typically have normally when excited. I am sure there is someone who will accept me anyways despite this issue.

Pretty much the same for me. Both feeling it and receiving it. I made a similar post here once.