This is me.

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Hi. Just to introduce myself, my name is Benedict Pollard, I am nearly 25 years of age and I live in Gloucester, UK. I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome during my childhood. My parents have always said that my diagnosis is mild but especially lately I feel as though it is much more than mild.

First of all I have always had trouble socialising like most Aspies. In recent years however I have discovered just how one simple unintended act of rudeness or whatever can affect things on a grander scale. I also have very limited interests- for example, I absolutely hate sport, and sometimes I don't like it whenever people try to force me into trying or doing new things, even though on the odd occasion I do find I enjoy it.

This leads me onto my next problem: dating. Because of my terrible social skills, I find the world of dating VERY confusing. If I go way back I did have a sort-of-girlfriend in primary school and she seemed well into the idea of it but the problem was my fault - on top of my bad social skills, I felt I was too young for a girlfriend. In the end, I haven't physically seen that girl for more than ten years.

Many years later, I'm living in Gloucestershire. This ties in with my next problem. For a few years now, I have been trying to battle a Facebook addiction which was caused by some unexpected events during my time at college that massively drained my self confidence and made me fear that I was losing popularity. As time has gone on, I've slowly realised that most of my friends on Facebook who I would gladly talk to are finding me annoying and most of what I post on there gets ignored because I tend to post too often or I post something that's obviously not interesting.

Going back to the dating - there was this period where I found myself chatting on Facebook (eventually regularly) with one of my close friends of said college. After a month or so, it got to the point where I got the impression that she had suddenly decided she was into me. Unfortunately I get really confused in these type of situations and as well as that, I was a bit too apprehensive about making any more of an effort to further things with her because of confidence issues. A few months after that, she gets shacked up (as in "moves into house") with another male - and from TV shows, I assume being shacked up means you're in a relationship. However, once in a while, we still comment on each others Facebooks at that point. But this is where it (probably) ends (forever). Three weeks ago she suddenly decided to actually BE in a relationship with ANOTHER man, while on top of that STILL being shacked up with other other man, which leaves a poor confused me unsure of what to do. The worst thing is I'm not great at moving on from things, which includes things as well as what I've just described.

Moving away from this - I do have a job, where I work as an IT Support assistant which basically means I have to help the public with their everyday computer problems. Last week I was dealing with a customer and I helped him and felt good about myself. However he then came back and asked me to make a minor change to the document we were working on. Unfortunately I hadn't even saved the document as I assumed we were finished so this sent me into a very extreme meltdown - possibly the worst meltdown I've ever had. Thankfully I'm still employed there despite this.

So, I'm sorry this is long winded but I thought this would be a better alternative to broadcasting all my problems on Facebook, because like I said, most of the time whatever I say just gets ignored. I don't care if anyone ever replies to this, but if anyone does, can they please be nice because I also can't cope with negative things said to my face. Thank you

Hi homer365 , welcome to WP.

Personally, I would delete your real name from your post to protect your identity , it's probably not a huge issue but posts here can get very personal and you may not want to be identified. Then again if you have no problem sharing your issues with the world then good on you

Good afternoon,
Far better posting here chap. Between us all we share a lot of the difficult points you raise. I reckon you will get more sound advice here than from people on Facebook.

The lady you describe seems to be setting the stage for an ugly row or two with both gentlemen, my incli action would be to keep well out of the way. It's sad, and it is a likely consequence of their neurotypicality - lack of stating clearly what their expectations might be.

Indeed, backups are good, at the same time the document is the customer's document, and customers need to remember to save regularly as well.

Facebook can be an unpleasant place. I use it sparingly, locked down to people I know and trust in Real Life. I do not friend people if I work with them. I see then everyday at work. Also there is too great a risk of words from the heart at a work frustration getting read by the wrong people and causing me work trouble.

One or two good friends found through a shared strong interest are a better hey than all the nondescript people with Facebook accounts. I look forward to the day people start getting bored with facebook.


Age twenty to thirty five are the years you may find the hardest. They do press on all the pressure points in the Aspie / Autistic profile. Dating was an area which proved Very difficult. I found a compensation in finding a home in a relationship which suited me and the others involved, at around the time a fair proportion of my contemporaries were getting divorced with all the heartache and mess that entails. I also landed in a few scrapes at work - I have had one or two Verbal Warnings over the years but managed to stay clear of any formal disciplinaries.

Take comfort, you are in a field of work where we are in the majority in the level at which you work. You also have some protections from having a formal diagnosis.

Anyway chap, welcome to Wrong Planet. Make yourself at home.

Thank you.