Why do people say I'm 'hard work'?

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Umm,yeah. Kinda hurts.

Impossible to say why people say your hard work.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess these people misunderstand the reasons for your actions & words and are not prepared to give allowances for anything that you do that is 'natural for you' but not 'natural for them'.

Is it a bad thing?

I have been called hard work before, especially as a child. But it didn't upset me. I have ADHD as well as ASD so I know I can be hard work.

It's not necessarily a bad thing on your part since it's not intentional, but it can really wear people out.

My online friend I game with has gotten seriously fed up working with me a couple of times. He'll say "you don't listen" "it's like talking to a wall" and stuff like that. He's very nice and understanding for the most part, but I'm pretty hard to work with. Sometimes at home even getting me to do ordenary things like brush my teeth or get dressed or whatever can be a real chore. I'm just not very good at cooperating sometimes.

I'm hard work sometimes at work, when I'm given a task I find daunting or challenging. I do wish I was one of those laid-back type of people that don't get stressed like I do. I'm a deep-thinker and I am easily distracted and sensitive to other people's emotions, so that can make some tasks difficult, depending on what the task is.

I'd need a bit more background to provide a sensible answer. Who says you're hard work? Your family? Friends? Employers or colleagues?

I know it's not a pleasant experience to be told so, but try not to take it too personally. Many people are very busy and say such things when they're frustrated or something went wrong.

It could be that in order for you to do something, someone has to show you what to do and provide detailed step by step instructions. It may even be faster for someone to do it themselves!

I know that I was difficult to deal with, not because I was mean, rebellious or a troublemaker, but because I was different. I hate the inconsistencies of my own mind. I have done some difficult things very well, such as getting university degrees and holding office in Toastmasters, but I don't know if I will ever change enough to ever get married or be fully independent. I did something monumentally stupid this year. The problem is now resolved and I'm on the way back, but it made me feel worthless at the time.

I've been called hard work too as I seemingly never listen to a word anyone says to me. But it's not irreverence on my part; I am just terrible at recalling auditory information. As well as autism, I wouldn't be surprised if I have a CAPD and an inattentive subtype of ADHD. Even when I am not depressed (I think I am at the moment as few things seem to excite me), I can seem as if I am "away with the fairies". I have, on many occasions, be accused of being stoned, when in fact I was stone cold sober. I never really seem 'with it'.

To difficult or challenging to communicate to and causing occasional behavior issues, I get the reply of: sometimes (this is the shortest answer).

Put me down as a member of the "hard work" club. I think it mostly arises when I feel that people are not getting the exact point of what I'm trying to say.

I agree with the comment that many people are very busy, get tired, and to not take it personally if you can help it.

I feel like everyone around me is sleeping and I 'wake them up' and they resent it, people like being unconscious and sleepy, it's comfortable, it takes energy to focus and be present, which I know personally I am forced to do every second of the day. It's why i sleep so much at night. Many people don't get much nighttime sleep from what I've heard them tell me, it's not a priority. The world is built to make neurotypicals comfortable, discomfort gets them pissy just as it does us.

But I do think your hurt feelings are valid. You can use the assertiveness formula if you want to tell the person. "This is how I see it..." then "this is how it makes me feel"...then "this is what I need from you." You express to them in those three ways how what they said made you feel hurt and how you would rather they approach it next time.

And there really is no way to see a positive spin on someone saying you are hard work, it is an insult.

I have, on occasion, been accused of being hard work at work. It is usually when I am being stubborn and don't want to do yet another task that someone else should be doing [and has refused to do].

Why am I being stubborn? Because I've asked and asked and asked for something to be changed, sorted out, or an had idea which has been ignored that would help everybody or even hinted that jobs should be shared out more fairly between staff.

If someone is no longer prepared to be a "soft touch" they are stubborn, yet everyone else is of the attitude "I am not paid for that, so I am not doing it" and that is fine and dandy.

What kinda situations prompt folks to say that you're "hard work"?

Probably its hard work them to communicate with you, or something like that.