Re-thinking job strategy.

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I've come up with a better plan to find a job, and my family is encouraging me to pursue full time work, so, here's what I'm thinking:

I have degrees in video/audio production and graphics, but since those are closely related to my special interests, I need to find a real job, so I'm looking at fast food or cleaning. That way my job can be a special interest I can focus on, plus since I have sensory issues and some social skills issues, working around people will be an appropriate environment.

The job would pay minimum wage, so that puts limits on what I can spend money on. I'll look into having someone oversee my finances to ensure money is only spent on legitimate things though, so I'm not too worried about abiding by restrictions.

Having a full time job would really help me in several areas: time management, since working during the day would require a 5am paratransit pickup to be at a job that starts at 8am, so I'd need to be up around 3 or 3:30am. Work would end around 4pm, so with the extended paratransit trip home, I wouldn't be home until after 7pm, so that should teach me about time management. I also sleep a little too much, so the early wake up should teach me about functioning with less sleep. I'll also learn about empathy because a lot of disabled persons work under similar conditions, so I'll be getting a reality check. Another thing this will teach me is about learning that there are things I can't control.

I'd still need to figure out how to deal with the 2 days off I might get per week, but I think if I can have the job be a special interest, I can easily just request to be assigned to work on those days as well, along with longer shifts.

One thing I'm trying to figure out is how to downplay and deny my condition so it doesn't cost me the job since I would have worked hard to get it. I hope that won't be too difficult.

That long of a day seems like a terrible idea. You won't have very much time to manage because you'll be spending it all at work or in transit. Also, long-term sleep deprivation is bad for your health. You can't "learn" to live with less sleep; you can learn to handle it short term, but your body will not cooperate for very long.

Actually that's what time management is all about, learning about what's important and how to prioritize. The work and bus rides will be the special interest, so I should be enthusiastic about it as I am with the things I enjoy. My time would be managed in a way that the time is spent on work and not on things not related to work.

I've done this before with college classes I've taken. In that case though, the classes were a special interest I learned to pursue within time restrictions, and the long bus rides, early wake up times, and time required for other non-class things were the real work. I learned that other peoples needs were more important by seeing how paratransit gave the wheelchair users longer trips than people with other disabilities, and learned how to say positive things about the long trips and the challenges of getting classwork done only when everything else was done.

I worry about what I'll do during those times I won't be aboard a wheelchair van or at work.

I agree, but:

That sounds like letting the job manage your time rather than managing the time yourself. Managing time is about making decisions; if the job is taking up all your time, you have few or no decisions to make (other than quitting).

That is way too much time set aside for work & traveling.

Traveling for 6 hours a day, plus an 8 hour shift.......?

I wouldn't be able to handle a long day like that. Is there any place in your community where you can work, so you don't take up your time commuting to and from work?

Whilst I acknowledge that we are all different, I personally couldn't tolerate the long commutes to work in my last role. By the time I arrived at the office, I was extremely enervated, grouchy and even more anxious than usual. I left my house at 6am for a train that departed at 6:19am, and I didn't arrive back home until after 6pm. Eventually I had to resign because I couldn't justify destroying my mental health any further for just over £20 a day (it was an apprenticeship).

What you describe here sounds like a living hell for me. 6h travel a day + 8h shift in a place that focuses on working memory and social interaction? Thank you very much.

If I were you I would change the 6h travel to renting a room near the workplace and choose different kind of work, one that doesn't focus on stuff I am bad with but the ones I like/are good with.

But I am not you.

I was in a really bad mood when I initially posted all of that. Over the past few months I've been working on my writing, pursuing testing to see if I'm on the spectrum or not, getting help from my friends with much-needing work in my apartment, and looking at ways I might find a job that's a good fit in regards to both my physical disability and my mental issues- ADHD being something to consider as something affecting being able to handle certain jobs as well as possibly being an aspie. Overall, finally taking real steps to be more independent and pursuing important things my way, and trying to feel good about it.

At the same time, my parents have chosen this time where I'm being more focused and responsible to complain all the time about all the things I'm supposedly not doing, and ignoring what's really been getting done. There's a lot of pressure from them to accept increased scrutiny, supervision, and massive curtailment of my free time in the form of accepting a menial job that would involve the low pay, long hours, and longer paratransit trips. Overall, they're supportive and accepting of my physical disability but tend to be very unsympathetic when it gets in the way of things that are important to me or when I'm forced to accept extra limitations beyond what non-disabled persons might have to deal with, with a lot of criticism for trying to control things I can't (or shouldn't) control, like it's cheating or evading punishment. Basically, to them it's overcoming limitations when I do something that serves someone else's interests but it's totally fair when I'm either prevented from doing something purely for me or when I have to put up with a lot of crap to do the same things that non-disabled persons do.

In regards to the mental issues, they're very selective about it- they accept that mental issues exist in a broad or abstract way, and they do acknowledge that I do have problems, but like with the disability, fixate on the negative aspects and the potential limitations and restrictions that come with it. In regards to whether or not I might actually be an aspie, they've became disturbingly enthusiastic about the possibility, because it would give them a tangible excuse to exert control over me despite not having a legal standing to do so. My father actually got really upset with me when I pointed out that the recent testing might actually *not* result in an Asperger's diagnosis, and treatment for the other issues would simply mean I'd get the right meds for ADHD, depression, and bipolar disorder and with those conditions under control, I'd be able to do so much more on my own.

In regards to a future job, a lot of what I hear from them is basically seeing me as a lazy high school kid trying to avoid getting a "real job" because I need more than a fast food or cleaning job. I have bigger plans, and to me it's very logical- a good job is a step towards those plans as well as a big step towards being a lot more independent. To them though, a job should be comeuppance or a reality check for having those bigger plans. So to them, it's not "real" unless there's *more* restrictions on my freedom and pursuit of special interests.

My friends have pointed out that there are part time jobs that would allow me to keep my SSI and add the part time pay to that, and even the possibility of good full time jobs that would negate the need for any assistance and allow me to still afford my apartment and have enough left over each month to live comfortable, pay for the care of my pets, and save up in a reasonable amount of time to get a new computer so I can continue my creative projects. And the job wouldn't have to entail hours on a wheelchair van or being home so late that I can't go out or relax at home.

So I'm trying to ignore my parents, and just focus on what I've already been doing- getting the apartment more organized, working on my writing, and seeing what help I can get finding a job once I get the test results back (hopefully in the next week or so) The problem with the depression and bipolar being untreated so far is that things like my parents saying bizarre things and getting angrier when I'm *not* being lazy really sets me off and it's hard sometimes to not just give up and say and do things to shut them up.