Esperanza wrote:
I attended a high school graduation ceremony yesterday. It was the same high school that I graduated from ten years ago. The kids there were receiving scholarships and talking about their plans to become engineers, doctors, world travellers and accountants. I remember having similar plans.
Today, I still haven't even completed a bachelor's degree. My friends all moved on and became professionals and got good jobs. Many of them are starting families. I never thought this could possibly happen to me. I always expected to finish university and get a good job and get married and buy a house and have children.
Instead, after high school I was lost. I was adrift. I can't organize my life. I can't organize anything. I can't keep my clothes off the floor, I can't keep the dishes clean, I can't hold down a job that doesn't have clear-cut, simple requirements, and I can't keep my finances in order.
Now that I know I am AS/HFA, I understand where many (if not all) of these issues come from. I am hoping to go back to university and start over. I want to take a degree that is more appropriate and will lead to a career in which I can excel. I worry, though, because I'm getting impatient and my body is aging. It's time for me to have children. I don't want to leave it too late. I worry that I'll get fed up and won't ever finish my education. I don't know how much more time I can devote to this.
Yes, I feel extremely delayed, and it breaks my heart and crushes my spirit. It has torn my self-respect to pieces.
Cool, I graduated 10 yrs. ago also. Only thing is I don't know about any of those students anymore, I always think what it would be like if I ever went to a reunion or so, but then I always hear they aren't great, but then what would I do at one of those anyways?
I tend to be in and out of JC right now, but I haven't really progressed enough. I don't know the first time I somehow became frustrated somewhere socially, second time I stepped out because of frustrations of my personal life.
I fear that I will be a little too old to enjoy new things sometimes and that I may be too behind my peers. But they say to me it's never too late. I just feel I wasted some time to enjoy myself and feel a little care-free, which is more difficult to do nowadays anyway. But then that was my decision so I'm gonna let it go.