A question about functioning

Post Reply New Topic

This is primarily directed at those who suspect they are asd/nvd but have never had it ,and the resulting issues/problems, officially recognised . Input from those already diagnosed is also welcome.

Do you think it is possible to be as functional as possible if you are not given help and support for your issues/problems?
I guess to varying degrees we learn, subconsciously or otherwise, compensatory mechanisms, but I am not sure that is always enough .

Throughout my life I've been able to fake being functional for periods of time but when stress has been too much I've crashed hard. I'm beginning to think that any ASD traits I have were not the problem for me , the killer for me are anxiety , depression and the obsessional side of OCD ( not Dx ). If these are indeed comorbids and are a result of ASD then the answer for me is - it's possible to be functional but not for long , and if I pushed too hard I'd have a breakdown.

IMO the only thing that would of helped me is being as clued up as the 13 year old poster here , I have the feeling she is going to do really well in life.

No. All my role models say "get a business partner." We are specialists, and trying to do a bit of everything includes things that we do 100 times slower or worse than average.

I've basically learnt to avoid what I'm really bad at. It probably makes for rather restrictive functioning. A lot of it centres round craft/manual/practical skills , and of course I'm more than a little avoidant when it comes to engaging with other people.

I did not know I am autistic, never mind being diagnosed with it for decades. Through learning by negative consequences I learned to function enough to be known as different but not "diseased" for decades. It caught up to me big time and I have also realized I was not functioning as well as I thought at the time.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 23 Jul 2017, 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Anxiety and OCD are my worst problems in regards to functioning as well. I feel like if I just had ASD, I might look a little odd to others, but I wouldn't have any big "problems". When I was younger, I thought everyone else was illogical and weird .

I hope I'm not the 13 year old poster you are talking about (joking ). You've done amazing in life. Don't beat yourself up over the past .

I think it depends to a large extent on factors such as where on the spectrum the person is, and also on all kinds of chance factors in their lives. I have been extraordinarily lucky in my life, and found a niche position researching and teaching in a university, where a bit of eccentricity is tolerated and I have been able to adapt sufficiently to cope. But if things had worked out a bit differently, it could have been much harder for me to find something that matched my temperament.

When I stumbled into the discovery that I probably have aspergers about 18 months ago a lot of things in my life started to become understandable. I have wondered since whether it would have been better if I had known this much earlier on. It is not clear to me one way or the other.

Nah not you , that other clued up 13 yr old poster ( joke ). Thanks for you kind words , I have indeed done amazingly bad in life

Oh yeah, I know her (joke). I refuse to believe you have done "amazingly bad", no matter what you tell me .

I only began to suspect my autism at about 22, didn't know it had a name until 45, and was only diagnosed just before my 50th -so I spent the majority of my life ignorant of just what my disability was, or what caused it.

I'm not sure precisely what you mean by "as functional as possible." I dated, married, maintained a career, and managed to pay my bills on time (for the most part), so I was "functional," but never to the level of my NT peers.

I couldn't converse with strangers until they spoke to me first.
I couldn't maintain most dating relationships for more than a week, and failed at 3 marriages.
I got fired on average every 15 months, then would remain unemployed for 8 to 12 months, de-stressing, before I went back out and did it again.
I was frequently bullied and cheated and seemed to attract people who recognized those vulnerabilities.
While I paid my rent and utility bills, I had to rely on my family's help to cover things like auto insurance, and when it came to actually buying a car, I couldn't begin to comprehend the transaction and always had to take my father along to negotiate for me.



Now, surviving on Social Security Disability, I have the same issues. I can pay my basic bills on time and grocery shop for myself, but other than that, I rarely leave my own apartment, and have no friends, aside from Facebook contact with people I knew years ago, and old classmates I never really knew at all. When I do go out, I can barely speak to strangers, even when they do speak to me first.

So, have I learned over the years to be "functional"? Only minimally. When I was working full time, my social skills were certianly better honed than they are now, but were never anything approaching "normal." I've always been considered odd (and openly labeled so by others), even at my most "functional."

OTOH, I haven't been a Ward of the State all my life, so I suppose I learned some level of functionality, but just enough to get by. When my parents pass any year now, and I have no one to call when my vehicle malfunctions, I have no idea what I'll do and it terrifies me.

It is possible that with the right set of circumstances and skills, that a person may learn what they need to compensate and be functional. It is just as likely that the person learns negative coping skills which hurt their ability to be fully functional.