A question for the self dxed/yet to be officially dxed

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Do you have periods when you question whether you should be on this forum? You sense you are not NT, but am not sure whether ASD or something similar hits the mark.
Although I identify with people here to some extent I go through periods of questioning whether I really belong.
Having said that I realise that once you have seen one person with ASD/NVLD you have seen one person with ASD/NVLD ,and there is no definitive person with ASD/NVLD .
Personality wise we are all individuals each sharing a variety of traits.

I am self-diagnosed but have absolutely no doubts at all. For me there is no advantage in an official diagnosis. As for identifying with people on this forum, they are just as varied as any group of individuals.
What I do find, however, if someone writes something I don't agree with, or even something really weird, at least I feel I have an idea where they're coming from (mostly).

A Councillor pointed it out to me over two yeas ago but was sent from person to person that from the start admitted they had no experience in the area and gave me their views as if they did know what they were talking about... I kind of gave up on the system after two years as it was actually making a bad situation worse... After being initially pointed to the spectrum , i went home that night and didn't stop reading for about 30+hrs... It was in many ways like some one had secretly followed me my entire life and wrote it down for the world to see... This really intrigued me and did a few of the online tests the clinicians sometimes use and found my scores right up there. Then came here and read many similar experiences from those on the spectrum. Once i added everything together there seemed to be no denying the fact... However this left me feeling stuck in the middle, so to speak. I often felt i shouldn't give my points of view nor any advice... It kinda felt very wrong even though i knew...

It is a hard one to explain, i suppose only those that have had similar experiences would fully appreciate.. It actually increased my anxiety for a good while but i felt it was only here that people generally understood.. Even AutismNZ popped out for a visit and after that they kind of chuckled and said i was definitely on the spectrum. However my doctor took no notice when trying to explain things to him as i didnt have a signed government piece of paper issued by an NT legitimizing what i already knew after extensive research and 40 years experience.. He just basically fobbed me off as if i was making things up... Kinda crappy when it took a lot of strength to put out my hand and swallow my pride so to speak and the ones that were supposed to be helping hammered me back down into the ground... Then finally two weeks ago i finally managed to get an appointment with a specialist on the spectrum and was finally diagnosed.. My response was.. ''Yeah, i know''... Was a bit of an anticlimax as for so long i had been made to feel stuck in the middle and that has had quit a negative effect on me. So am now dealing step by step the psychological crap i have had to deal with for two years and the constant questioning of oneself conflicted with knowing one is right... Was never looking for a label but was about the ''why's?'' ... One cannot find the answers if one doesn't know the questions to ask. Now i know what questions to ask and what i have assumed for over 40 years thinking that everyone experiences am now finding out many things are generally spectrum related... Nice to know i wasn't nuts. But the system almost made me!

I still have a lot of residuals from said experience and still feel a lot of the time i have no place to post anything but am trying to reverse that rewiring.
I'm a strong cookie!

and thank you B19 for that contact number, you kinda changed my life

You don't have to actually be autistic to be a member of WP.

We don't have to send "proof" to Alex.

lol, Thanks Krafie, i know that... Was also related to the life long deeper side of things as well that overflowed into here.

I know your experience was harrowing, and it still is harrowing for you at times.

I was just speaking in general--to the people who doubt they "belong" here because they "might not" be on the Spectrum.

And to those who seek to exclude those they deem "not on the Spectrum" based on spurious evidence.

^ahhhh... My bad... Was just hard to work out to whom your context was directed to.... I will be over here under my rock if needed!

It's cold under that rock---get back in the sun!

It irritates me when Autism becomes overly politicized.

Some do the same thing the "big bad NTs" do: practice the politics of exclusion.

I dont mind the cold to the 40c heat... The dark is my friend!

Just ring the door bell by pulling a blade of grass.

Or, hopefully, a pretty girl might do that...and you could huddle in the hole together and cozy-like.

I don't consider myself typical, but I think getting an official diagnosis would hinder me in a lot of ways. My AQ testing score puts me on the borderline between NT and AS, which I think is accurate. My functioning has improved
markedly in the last four years, but my interests are still very different in kind and degree than those of many people.

I will just get pushed out to the edge of my rock , while she starfishes and nicks the entire duvet...

You'll get better luck than that, Sir.

Experience has thus far dictated otherwise. Pattern recognition! However i would be more than happy to accommodate by affixing a secondary rock annex.

That makes sense.....that gives her the option of cuddling up to you when she feels the inclination.