Interesting comparison-it's all a matter of perspective

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I have a friend whose relative has advanced Parkinson's. And as his condition is progressing and she is getting to know more about my Autism, we are finding remarkable similarities between me and him. Many of our similar struggles are cognitive similarities and how we process certain things. I am not surprised because any condition that affects certain parts of the brain and neurology will have similarities to other conditions that affect the brain and neurology.

But what I find very interesting is some people's perspective. I also find this train of thought when I have similar struggles to some of my friends at Special Olympics who have intellectual disabilities. What I am finding is that when certain people, not all people but some, look at certain struggles that my friends who have advanced Parkinson's have, I know three people who have this, or some struggle that my friends who have intellectual disabilities have, they automatically say, that person is impaired and disabled and deserves compassion. But when I have the exact same struggle, I am told that I need to get over it, rise above it and stop using it as an excuse to say that I am having difficulty.

I guess because I look normal I am not expected to be as disabled as someone with the exact same issue who looks obviously disabled. I find that very difficult to deal with. Does anyone else feel this way or is it just me?

https://invisibledisabilities.org/
Brain IDEAS Symposium – In 2015, we launched our Brain IDEAS (Invisible Disabilities® Education and Support) Symposiums. The Brain IDEAS Symposiums focus on Brain Disorders, Brain Health, and Brain Therapy. Nine expert speakers delivered dynamic, science, and story-filled talks on relevant topics such as Neuroplasticity, Mental Health, ADHD, ADD, Autism, Learning Disabilities, Dyslexia, Alzheimer’s, Down Syndrome, Nutrition, Microbiome, Mental Training, Therapeutic Humor, Stroke, PTSD, EMDR and TBI. Expert-led panels for questions and answers conclude each section allowing attendees to interact with the presenters. Make sure to check out the videos of each session and panel as they become available online.

There is an organization that supports invisible disabilities.

Well, I don't really know people who have more obvious disabilities than me, but I know the general attitude most people take with me is "suck it up and deal." It doesn't help that my functioning level can vary from day to day, or even hour to hour, based on several factors. Sometimes I can chatter away at a group thing of some sort for an hour or two, but then when I get home, for the next two or three days I'll barely say a word because it left me so drained, and I need time to recover. But people who talked with me for that hour or two will assume that I'm always capable of that, and am simply choosing not to, when the truth is, a good bit of the time, I struggle to speak loudly/clearly enough to be understood, and sometimes my vocal cords simply won't respond no matter how hard I try. People can't see into my mind, so they have no idea how hard I struggle to function adequately much of the time, they just see that sometimes I can, so when I don't succeed, I must not be trying hard enough. It's very frustrating when I keep trying my best and keep being told it isn't good enough.

I relate, and have the same feeling as dragonsanddemons, that what people don't see is what that "normal" looking conversation I just held with them, or what that event I attended has done to me on the inside, if you will. That I might be recovering at home for hours or even days. That even if I enjoyed a social interaction, a certain amount of stress has built up in me that will come out in something else in which my functioning then will sharply decrease.

There is a guy at my church that uses a wheelchair because he has dwarfism. Everybody bends over backwards for him when he needs something. When I had a mental breakdown earlier this year, everyone ignored and avoided me. Nobody checked on me or asked if I needed anything. People are also blinded by my good grades and think there is nothing wrong with me because I didn't act up at school. The kids with obvious behavior issues and crappy homelives get all the attention while the quiet girl from a two parent home that's battling depression and anxiety gets ignored. People think joining clubs will solve my social problems.

People with many disorders can identify with each other. They undergo similar struggles.