Went for assessment this week

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So I've spent a couple of days being assessed. I didn't want to tell anyone about it beforehand, as I was very nervous about it. Right now I'm quite exhausted.

The guy wants to see me again, as he is not certain. He said that just based on the tests I filled out, he could be lazy and give me a diagnosis of Asperger's, but he's not certain. The diagnostic criteria are from the ICD 10, we're talking about an Asperger's diagnosis, not a general autism diagnosis.

So far it's been ascertained that I don't have ADHD, which I really thought I had. So the attention and motivation problems have nothing to do with that.

Reasons for not giving a diagnosis of Asperger's straightaway include:

- I do eye contact (with people I feel ok with, and when I feel ok, which is most of the time)
- I don't have tactile defensiveness (had as a child, but he didn't ask)
- I don't have strange interests, like train spotting (this doesn't apply to most women, and I told him that)
- I had friends as a child

The last thing is the only really relevant point, which according to him disqualifies me from a diagnosis. The guy doesn't seem to know much about hyposensitivities and presentation in women, and he said openly that it is entirely possible that this could be a factor, so he wanted to read up on it. Which I thought was fantastic. Most professionals don't want to admit to being ignorant about anything. I sent him a bunch of material.

Any thoughts?

I feel great about having gone, though. It was turning into emotional constipation. It was time to move on. Yet now I have to wait another month to go back....

People with Aspergers can have friends.

I had classical autism, with an Aspergian presentation, and I had a "best friend" as a child.

Some women have "strange interests"--but not having them still does not preclude a diagnosis.

I had tactile defensiveness as a child. I don't have it as bad now--but it's still present.

You just might have the "female presentation" form of it.

I see ICD-10 used in the US for medical disorders.

I bet you are exhausted! My assessment was done in one day, 3.5 solid hours of testing, and my body and brain both felt like jelly when I finished. Dragging it out and all the waiting must be really draining.

The female presentation of Aspergers/autism is still foggy for some professionals. If you didn't include Tony Attwood's work in the materials you sent him, you might want to add that (Attwood created the Australian Scale for Asperger's Syndrome, which was one of the tests used in my assessment, your clinician might recognize that). I've found that Attwood has great insight into females on the spectrum. Tania Marshall has an in depth possible trait list as well, some of which is broken down by age. You could use that to point out what applied to you as a child vs. now.

And having friends as a child isn't a disqualifier. I always had one or two friends, some of them were even close!

Best of luck as you finish the process!

Yes, I've been thinking about all these things......but I wanted to hear someone else's opinion on it. The way this guy reads the ICD-10, having had friends absolutely bars me from a diagnosis. I just don't think it's right. Those things are quite random, having to do with where one grew up, family conditions, culture, etc. You have people with a light version of the condition who grew up friendless, and then there are others who are much more heavily affected, yet had friends. Female autistics are generally much more focused on friendship, according to Sarah Wild, head teacher at Limpsfield Grange. Makes sense to me.

As for the tactile defensiveness, I do have some of it, but I'm ok as long as I'm mentally prepared. I don't like being touched when I am concentrating hard, or before I wake up properly in the morning, or when I am very stressed out, but other than that I'm ok. Handshakes are really not a problem.

I'm sure most people would say I had strange interests as a child and teenager, but I don't talk about my strangest interests, and you know, I was into opera, not train spotting. How many female train spotters have you heard of? Not a lot, I bet.

Yes, I certainly have the female presentation. I've been doubting myself a lot, but I should stop doing that, I think. He wants to check me for epilepsy based on my vision problems, but honestly, I get a lot of the same symptoms from changes in light levels as I get from unstructured social settings. That sounds like autism, not epilepsy.

Thanks for commenting, Kraftie, you're a rock. It's good to be reminded of these things when I forget it.

Yes, the assessment was two 3-hour sessions over two consecutive days. On the first day I was half-blinded by a computer test, so I was a bit messed up, but that's good I think, from a clinical point of view. Slept badly on the night between, was a bit stimmy on the second day. The guy drove me nuts talking so slowly that I had a hard time following him, but he seemed to get over it after a while.

Thanks for the tip on the Australian scale. I hadn't heard of that one before, but I had a look at it and it makes a lot of sense. I really like Tony Attwood too, he's really good at going into the nitty gritty details of life with Asperger's.

From what I understand, what this guy is looking for is your typical hypersensitive, introverted male autistic. I have one major hyposensitivity, am female and extroverted, so I don't fit the cliche.

Thanks for the good wishes! I spent two days on the sofa, today I was out harvesting veggies in the sun, so now I've got anxiety....you just can't win, can you? I'm seriously out of balance. I really wish this would finish soon.

Had a nice dinner, though; kuri squash soup topped with fresh chanterelles I'm such a foodie

Most certainly Aspies can have friends. Like with everybody else, it is somewhat a matter of luck with being in the right place and the right time to find a compatible people. With Aspies is often harder and less likely to find compatible people but as this website proves it can and does happen. Of course, you can be autistic without typical boy interests you just have to have one or more that is more intense and be less able to switch it off than most NT passions.

I am glad your clinician is flexible and aware of his outdated notions of Aspergers. There has been a lot of material in the last few years about how Aspergers presents differently in adults and women in particular.

I had several friends as a child (and also later in life).

Just because aspies tend to have more trouble than NTs at maintaining or initiating friendships that doesn't mean they cannot have friends. Sometimes it takes longer to find like-minded persons (which is easy in some environments and very hard in others), also social anxiety can be a huge problem (not all aspies have social anxiety, though).

You wrote that you are extroverted and that just makes it way easier to make friends. I've known NT people that had more trouble finding friends than I because they were really shy and would not talk a lot. As an extroverted person, your chance of finding friends is simply higher, even if your social skills are not that great. Simple matter of statistics.

In general:
-Aspies have trouble finding or keeping a job -> Doesn't mean that everyone who has had a job for a long time cannot be aspie.
-Aspies have trouble dating -> Still there are many people with boyfriends or girlfriends and aspies starting families (obviously, since the condition is highly genetic...)
-Aspies often have coordination difficulties -> Doesn't mean they cannot do sports, even those who are below average regarding motor skills still can do sports if they want to.
-Aspies have trouble finding or keeping friends -> Doesn't mean aspies cannot have friends.

First of all, congratulations, I am really proud of you for doing this. Secondly, I am amazed that it is only 3.5 hours. Mine was 8 in one day and they did not even do all the tests they had scheduled. So wow, 3.5 hours is smazing.

But I think your diagnostician is misinformed. He needs to learn more about Autism/Asperger's in females. Make sure you mention this to him and make sure he gets help to get this diagnosis right. You don't want to have to doubt your diagnosis and do it again. Make sure that you are adamant (I am sure I spelled that wrong) about making sure he gets help if he does not know what he is doing. You or your insurance are paying for this, whichever way it turns out, it needs to be correct.

Thanks for putting it into words, anti_gone! This is exactly what I was thinking about but couldn't formulate. I always end up with a lot of words, and yet never quite get my point across.

Solution: get a bunch of autistics working on just about any problem, and they will eventually cover every eventuality

And no, I didn't have social anxiety as a child; it crept up on me, though. Anyone would've social anxiety after all this s**t.

No, that was Graceling. I'm at 6 hrs and counting

Yes, I'm letting him do all the testing he wants, and showering him with info on autism in females, aspie-stylie If someone wants information on something, I'm the girl to get it for them

I have friends my own age. I even went to a birthday party yesterday! I can fake eye contact, and even very occasionally make it if I feel comfortable enough. My interests aren't that strange at all- even if a lot of people my age don't read things on autism or watch a YouTuber that is supposedly for five year olds, some do! I have tactile defensiveness, though. That might be my most sensitive sense .

Exactly! And there are people who do eye contact perfectly who don't have friends at all. I think the guy is misinterpreting the criteria.

Next time I go I will draw tables and go at it in a structured way.

I completely agree . Some people just aren't educated enough to know that yes, you can have ASD and:

-get married
-have a job
-have children
-make friends
-go to events
-make eye contact
-read social cues
-have no or normal special interests
-not stim
-be great at all kinds of empathy
-wear "normal" clothing
-enjoy hugs
-not have any comorbid conditions
-have little to no sensory issues
-thrive with change, not routine
-are terrible at math/other academic subjects
-have a conversation
-keep friends
-live independently
-go to college
-go to a mainstream school
-use "normal" intonation in their voice

There are always exceptions to the "rules" when it comes to ASD. Every person with autism is different, and nobody will have the exact same struggles. Good luck !

Yes, the funny thing is although everyone's got some of the traits, most people seem to be missing some common trait as well, if that makes sense. As in, you have routines and flat affect and social troubles, but you don't stim. Or you're really stimmy, but have a nice social life anyway. Or you have a horrible social life and obsess about trains, but you're really not very rigid. I could go on.

I'm flexible when I get to decide

I like that- I'm flexible when I get to decide ! I'm definitely missing traits as well. I should really make a thread about what is inconsistent about people's autism, because there seems to be a lot of traits that few people actually have!

I was actually just a B and C student really.