Empathy Types

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In my quest to determine whether I feel I can make a preliminary self-diagnosis (and then hopefully proceed to official diagnosis), I've been doing some reading about empathy. My EQ score is very low (15), and I don't feel like I empathize well, and I certainly know that I don't display my empathy well at all. However, I took an emotional intelligence IQ test that indicated empathy was one of the few 'plusses' I've got (my overall score was in the 18th percentile, empathy score was very high). So it's a little confusing. My reading has led me to some information on different empathy 'components', Cognitive and Affective.

Cognitive - This seems to be what the emotional intelligence test was checking for. It said I can read other's emotions well. I also score about average in the eyes test, face test, emotions tests, etc, but low in the films test at aspietests.org. So a mixed bag of results, but on the whole I'm probably about average. However, I think in real life this could be a struggle. I frequently 'misread' other's intentions, but almost always to the negative side. For instance, if someone seems to be interested in initiating a friendship, I might pick up on what seems to be 'positive vibes' but eventually determine that they're probably just being nice. Does this describe anyone else? Is it possible that I got burned so many times as a child (I can vaguely remember more than a few of those) that I've just resorted to assuming the worst as path of least resistance?
Affective - I score terribly on this almost everywhere, but it seems this may not be the root of the empathy 'issue' for most Asperger's/ASD. I don't seem to notice emotions until they're overwhelming to me. Is it possible that I've counteracted being overly emotional by learning to basically avoid situations that require me to be emotional? I don't like movies, but I've noticed that almost every time I do what a movie (other than comedies, which I love), I tend to be overly emotional at the end of the movie, almost to the point of tears in many cases. Is this something anyone can relate to?

Anyway, good at Cognitive/bad at Affective seems to be opposite to most ASD. Any thoughts? Everyone's feedback is greatly appreciated.

Yes, this is my working assumption in these cases. I consider it a self-protective measure given the recognition that I can't seem to get a good 'read' on what's going on in other peoples' heads.


It doesn't seem like a deficit of the affective side of empathy to me. I wonder if it may be a bit of alexithymia. The emotions may be there, but have to build for a while before they spike a clear reading on the meter (so to speak).

Thank you for the feedback. I was able to find an alexithymia test online a few days ago, and scored well 'below average' (or maybe above, depending on how you look at it) as 'having' alexithymia. It's a little confusing how that might tie in with everything else. Maybe I'm digging in too deep to try to uncover the underlying reason of my ASD (if I do in fact have it). I've spent the best part of a month and a half trying to convince myself that I [i]don't[i] have it.

I think you've got it backwards.

Affective empathy is the ability to read people's emotions, and generally those on the spectrum are only slightly worse here than neurotypicals.

Cognitive empathy is the ability to see things from someone else's perspective, and those on the spectrum tend to be lacking in this area.

An example of a test for pure Cognitive empathy with no relation to Affective empathy is the Sally Anne test (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjkTQtggLH4). I personally pass the Sally Anne test just fine, but then the test is intended for very young children, and I think those who are not young children easily substitute straight logic for cognitive empathy in this test. Still, it's a good example of the difference between the two kinds of empathy.

Each step toward better understanding yourself leads forward. I have high alexithymic traits too. This suggests that emotions are a bit of a muddle for me, and gives me the wisdom to step back and realize I may not have the right interpretation on a given situation. Maybe there's something I can do to improve this. At the very least it's a "good to know" IMO.

I think the issue with empathy in ASD is in noticing the cues to read emotions in others, not being devoid of emotion ourselves. A movie is designed to lead you to feel an intended emotion, it would make sense for someone autistic to react and feel strongly. A person who is feeling emotional usually hides a lot of what they feel making confusing and conflicting vibes that are hard to read.

Then many alexithymic autistics don't have any empathy at all (aka me) just philosophy to fill the gaps.

I thought alexithymia was about difficulty processing emotions, like not being able to name or describe them. That's not the same thing as having no empathy. My alexithymia score when I take the test is 151, but I definitely have empathy. I just don't express it very well.

It can be both / either / or as far as I know.
Some alexithymics feel perfectly fine, just can't express those feelings. Some feel something but have no idea what it is, what it means, what it's called or what to do with it. Then you have people like me, who have obvious gaps and literally don't feel a lot of common emotions. That doesn't (unfortunately) mean I don't feel anything at all, it's just very different. It's like I only have about 1/4 of the emotional repertoire most people have, and even those things I can feel, I often can't express or understand.

It's all so complex, thanks for a little bit of clarification. It seems there is no one thing that is autism, no one thing even that is alexithymia.

I have empathy. Seeing other people or animals upset or in pain makes me upset. However, being upset/feeling sorry for people is difficult for me because I am very bad at managing/processing emotions. Consequently, I try to remove myself emotionally from situations, and can come across as emotionless/lacking empathy.

I think this is an accurate description of how I feel as well. It's hard to remember much about my childhood, but I don't always remember being 'emotionally cold'. At some point, I think I may have realized the simplest way to deal with the world was to distance myself from other people's emotional trainwreck of a life to avoid becoming a trainwreck myself. I'm definitely not a cruel person, but there's no one who would confuse me as being the go-to 'shoulder to cry on.' Also, I've noticed that I get very emotionally affected (at least by my scale of reference) by animals in nature shows. Wildebeests being eaten by crocodiles and such.

Thanks to everyone for their comments.