REG: Sensory Processing Issues and work-arounds

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Hi Everyone:

So just two days ago, I was at my virtual office (Panera) and some lovely waste for a social security number with their loud base in his car comes rolling through I can not only hear the base but feel it through the walls of the restaurant it sounded like this (THUD THUD HISSSS HISSS THUD THUD THUD CRACKLE THUD HISSS CRACKLE and on and on). Cue sensory overload... I notified the acting store CSM (Customer Service Manager) and she did her best to keep an eye on me to make sure I didn't like get worse or such. but it just snowballed from there because of screaming kids and so I signed out by 21:50 local time and by the time I got to the corner the environment started spinning, so I duck into chipotle which is technically closed at this time but they let me sit there stimming for about an hour and tell me I have to leave. So I sit on there chairs outside and stim but thanks to even more noise this self-repair tactic fails to work and I eventually call an ambulance (using my iPad as my "voice") and they eventually call my mom and she gives me heck with this:

"Why didn't you call me and I could have talked you through it because you know they're not going to do anything for you here, right?" then she follows it up with "you know I had to work a 14-hour day today and have to wake up at 04:00 to get to work by 06:45 to work another 14-hour day?" which I did not know and on top of that my grandmother's health is rollercoastering and she has to help with that in addition to her paid job so as you can see, she's under a lot of stress and so I type on my iPad "you just answered your own question because you're already under enough stress and I don't want to keep adding to it." well I was waiting to be seen by an E.R. doctor there were screaming children and my mom was like "why didn't you just stay home?" my answer "because the neighbors pull the same kind of S#1T" "oh yay for loud noise because now you have to listen to this $#1T. Oh Yay." is her response along with "as soon as you heard that loud music why didn't you leave?" because once one sense is triggered everything goes screwy and gets brighter the room starts to spin etc. so it's SAFER for me to try and self-repair (via stimming) than to be ambulatory to try and get home or elsewhere. Further my mom notifies me that "then I guess you'll just have to live in a bubble underground or send one of your other personalities (holograms) out who is not autistic when dealing with the outside world" in response "1) being a "bubble hologram" doesn't sound like too much fund because poof goes hand holding and hugs, visits with fiancee, and panera and 2) not all environmental things can be controlled in a bubble. and 3) there's no such thing anymore, we pushed out an update to all holograms acknowledging the autism diagnosis and all future holograms will have this baked in. All holograms share a common code base which defaults certain settings like all holograms are female identified, all holograms are nonverbal, and all holograms are autistic thus no getting around it." her next comment was "well you could get institutionalized and they will control your environment for you".

they gave me some ativan for "anxiety" and sent me home not a fix at all the incompetent jerks.

Fast forward to today and I am told I have $50 on my card so I get some food at chipotle as a "thank you" for letting me be there even after close. and then I went to target to price [url]noise cancelling headphones[/url]. The set on the cheapest end of the range was $39.99 ($44 with about an 8% tax (I rounded up to 44)) I pay $30 on my credit card and then have to try every other card with no luck to make the difference of about $11 and I tell the girl behind the register that I am autistic and noise especially loud noise (bad base, screaming children, sirens, etc.) is really bad for me medically. This absolute angel steps up to the plate and on her PERSONAL CREDIT CARD mind you paid the difference. WOW! That's good and all but she really didn't have to do that. She could have been that one retail person that's like "no headphones for you if you can't pay the full balance..." but no, this person had a heart seriously.

The real test of these is McDonald's on Friday (the first of the month thus payday for me from my SSI benefits) where there is likely to be screaming children. As for my testing tonight, chipotle got night and day better when I put on some music and even here at home as I type this with music going on a reasonably low setting for volume, good no keyboard noise. I went into work today and listened to music while on the floor where all the "action" happens and I didn't hear the ringing phones or the noisy colleagues. I say a good buy personally.

What do you think of all of this? do you use noise cancelling headphones if sensitive to noise? how do you deal with these types of situations? Were my mother's comments called for? Do you think the hospital did right? Fee free to follow-up in the comments below.

Note: the link is for the express purpose of showing the exact set of headphones I purchased I am not affiliated with target or sony thus I get nothing by sharing that link. I am not a doctor nor do I claim to be, what might work for me might not work for others so please consult a doctor or other qualified medical professional before acting on anything in this post as "advice" since it comes from personal experience with the product and that's all.

I always carry ear plugs with me. I now have some custom moulded ones which are amazing. But I would be quite happy to wear noise cancelling headphones if I had to. For me it's not always the outright volume that gets to me, it's the unrelenting repetitive nature of the noise.
In the coffee shop I go, we sometimes have this guy chewing his nails... not only can I not bear to look at him, but I can hear the chomping and slobbering... luckily he's not there very often and doesn't stay long, don't want go anywhere else as this place really has the best coffee, and you don't get screaming kids in there.

for me it's multi-factor volume, repetitive sounds as identified above, certain pitches or frequencies (bad base on one end, screaming children on the other) and whether the noise can be quickly stopped or otherwise toned down

You can't control the external noise, you can only control what you stuff in or over your ears to keep the level down.
I'd even think about going in with the plugs/headphones already on, so you don't get startled.
Another issue is positioning yourself in the right place. There may be a little corner of the shop which is a bit more secluded.

If I read that right, it looks like Panera recognise a good customer when they see one, especially if you go in most days.
I don't think you can manage the external noise... if I asked someone to manage their kid properly I'd have the parent screaming at me as well as the kid. On the other hand, I might complement someone on how well behaved their kid is... on the very rare occasions it happened.

What I might've advised:
Regulate your system by stimming, exercises, and regularly drinking water.
Desensitize and condition your body via therapy and exposure.
Equipments like earplugs and noise cancellers are to be used in moderation -- it risks sensitizing and dependence.
Stimuli, and taking a break is also done in moderation -- depends on how you take stimuli and your life around you.
Lessen your tension and anxiety -- they elevate senses/sensitize and may induce hyper vigilance. Also watch for psychological and emotional factors.
Watch your physiological state (hunger, thirst, reproductive cycle, sickness, etc..) It'll either cause triggers or worsens your input system. Also watch your food and medication intake.




What I want and did: (Which anyone could skip and disregard because it would sound like a rambling mumbo jumbo)
.. What I would've take all of those stimuli head on... And figure how to do it without overloading. Which, is not an easy find to end up being 'trigger-free'.

Or, focus enough to filter the stimuli and continue what I'm doing.

I don't want an 'accommodating' equipment -- as it could make it worse. Much worse if it could cause dependence.
Desensitization and reconditioning takes too much time. I would rather learn how to function without regulating my senses on daily basis. Also able to expand energy or 'mental/sensory/emotional' stamina while lessening stimuli processing energy cost.
I don't want and I don't like negotiating with the environment just for me to function.
So yes, if I have to need to work around with something... I'd figure the work around THEN find a way for not needing to work around in the first place.

And I wanna adapt with the noise, not cope with it with accommodations or 'suck it up' by suffering internally and in silence.

As in, without needing to manage the autistic sensory system with little compromise -- which I had figured with mine years ago.
Except I don't know how to explicitly explain how... And I don't know if it's possible for others.
All I know is that "will power" had little to do with it.
It's a 'trick', not raw exertion to be maintained, or some play pretend that stimuli and the pain it may cause never happened. Exposure is just a 'chance' of figuring your own sensory system out, not something that to get 'used to' which is different, because something else inside is changing over time.
And, the focus itself is on the inside, not some mental barrier against outside and in between it -- which may not make any sense.

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You have 2 things happening -- discomfort from noise & also emotional distress from the discomfort, which makes the discomfort worse & unmanagable. Similar issues used to hapen to me unti I had an idea to try & reduce my emotional reaction -- can't do anything about the physical discomfort, but I can control how I react at the start, as long as I don't let my emotions get too far out of control.

You will have to figure out yourself how to reduce your emotional reactions. This is the reason you become out of control. This one component will change your life for the better when you figure it out.