How to deal with hypocrites?? (Help please)

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I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I thought I'd still ask. I'm wondering how you all deal with hypocrites / how to stop yourself from going insane around them and how they act. The reason I am asking is because my dad is a huge mother****** hypocrite. Part of this is due to his mental illnesses (he's got bipolar [the classic case/archetype], OCD, and PSTD from childhood abuse and assulat in his young adult years) and the other is he's a very alpha male, my way or the highway type guy.

As a result, a lot of my growing up years were spent being told don't do this but yet my dad did it. An example is my dad could watch Game of Thrones but I was told it was too violent for me / not apporiate (I was 18). He also treated my brother better than me and favored him, and still does even after admitting it (example: I'm told I'm irresponsible for not paying all of my car payment [even though my job cut my hours/ I had ended up selling my PS4 and other electrionics to pay for part of my car payment] and yet my brother can go out and spend 400+ on a vr headset. )I also pay for my part of the family cellphone and car insurance plan and chip in for food too. My brother does not do any of this. Nor did he pay for gas in my parents' cars when he used them this summer when he came home from college.

It's frustrating to deal with this level of hypocrisy. I also encounter hypocrisy at work where coworkers don't do their job and act like they are the **** . It's driving me batty. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Just keep yourself "above the fray."

That's how I've handled things.

Are you in a position to move out of your parents' place?

I end up doing so by hiding in my room. Then I get labeled a "mooch" by my parents. Sadly, I am not finically stable nor do I have the means to move out until I finish my degree and teaching credential. I do not make enough to support myself and move out. :/

Maybe your dad can't help the way he is especially with Bipolar , OCD & PTSD , maybe what you see as hypocrisy is actually his way of looking out for his girl? ( just a suggestion ) Also I think boys always get treated differently to girls and it also depends who is the oldest as well ( is he your younger brother ).

He's flat out said (to both my brother and I ) the way he treated my brother was because he never wanted my brother to be abused the same way he was. In doing so, I ended up doing nearly all the shared chores, not having my opinion respected,my thoughts/ opinion being ignored or overlooked for my brother's, and being treated as irresponsible despite caring for my dad(he's physically disabled as well), having a job, going to school, paying my bills, and helping out my family.

As for protecting me, I know part of it is. However, not treating me as my age or listening to a valid point (with facts and logic backing it up) is hypocritical, especially given all I do for my family and the fact I am 25. I contribute to my family, rarely ask my parents for help, and try my best to make life less stressful (I get classroom supplies for my mom, buy food for family, etc). My point is it's hypocritical for him to lecture me like I am 5 but am 25 and doing a crap ton for the family. I just am looking for advice on how to deal with it in the moment other than compartmentalizing/ shutting off if that makes sense

I'm sorry you're treated this way, despite all which you do for your family.

It's not your fault but thank you for your sympathy <3 I'm just hoping for some advice on how to handle my dad's issues. I'm currently in therapy but I only just started so not see how affective it is. Or what I can do in between sessions to handle my feelings

People are rationalizing, not rational creatures. Expecting logic to prevail is very frustrating. It can sometimes increase your odds, but you have to be an emotional mechanic willing to manipulate people to get them to do what they say they do.
My parents were careful to avoid all the mistakes their parents made. Unfortunately, the opposite of a dysfunction is another dysfunction. The Coast Salish people reckoned on a major trauma taking four generations to settle out.

Hello EmmaHyde,

This is not really an autism subject, but I can link it to it in some sense. Anyway I will try to help. I find it really bad that you have to feel that way because of them. Hypocrisy is a very big part in my life too. I like to balance things perfectly. When things feel unfair it will play in my head for a long long time and it will really upset me.

Not so very long ago I started to realise that it is just the way things work. Not that I had peace with that at all, but I guess it is just the way it is. I have become angry many times to see if I could change things into something more balanced and fair, but until now it never really worked out and I have come to the point where I almost certainly know that things are not going to change.

If you want to change the way things are going between you and your dad it is maybe a good idea to have a good long chat with him. Try not to be too defensive, because that will probably not work out too well. It always works to admit things from your side so he has the idea you not attacking him and that you refected on yourself. I maybe gets more relaxed and it will get easier to talk to him.

This maybe works out for you and otherwise you just need to try to ignore it and wait until you can live on your own so he can't make decisions for you anymore.

Good luck!

It makes perfect sense , that's the way I sort of do things so it's the only advice I can offer. It's the sort of situation I would just put up with till I blow up or break down Hopefully someone with better advice will be along shortly , stay strong sestra

Stay away from them - they are not worth your time & energy.
You can't fix them. Better to focus on yourself.