Plz respond. Do you approach random ppl and talk to them?

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I was told off at work because 'I have to stop approaching people and talking to them'

It really hurts deeply. I'm only being friendly.

If I'm feeling outgoing I might say a word or two to a random stranger. I like to be personable in that way. But it's a rare thing. Very often it's hard for me to even approach my friends and family, I'm very "speak when I'm spoken to," I know how it feels when somebody's being invasive and I wouldn't want anybody to suffer that from me. I've sometimes had funny looks from strangers when I've talked to them, as if they think I'm a serial killer or something, though what I've said has always been pretty brief and innocuous. And yes, it does sting when they don't like my approach. Seems to be linked to local population density - in some places it seems that anybody will exchange a few words with anybody, other places I'll ask them where the train station is and they'll look kind of threatened. I know I have a bad habit of talking ad nauseam, but I've got it pretty much under control these days, and in the situations I've mentioned, they can't possibly know I can be like that.

Workplaces can be pretty weird. Maybe you've just been doing it too much, but if so then they'd have done better to just suggest you to tone it down a bit. I think some bosses just don't want employees to do anything that's not making them a direct profit. But if folks are too busy, which they usually are in a workplace these days, naturally they won't want to be interrupted. It's useful to try and see whether the target is preoccupied in that way before launching into a conversation. There is some kind of vibe people give off. One guy where I used to work would break eye contact, look miserable, and turn slightly away from me when he'd had enough, which was usually after about half a minute. I think he just had too much to do.

Well what kind of things do you talk to them about...like are we talking saying hi and maybe a little chit chat? Or are you coming up to people and asking them strange/awkward questions or trying to talk to them when they are busy? I mean those are really the only things I can think of that would be problematic.

I have the problem of not really being able to approach people, unless I know them.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 30 Aug 2017, 7:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I used to go up to random people and talk to them. Still do sometimes.

But I know I can't do that at work.

Sorry you feel bad, Sir. I really am. People just suck sometimes.

i remember i tried that once, i had no friends at the time and wanted to make new ones but didnt know how, so i thought it was a good idea to just approach someone one and talk but it didnt work.

Im not one that instigates conversations and friendships, i keep to myself in crowds, i only approach someone if i need something or want something.

I can't say I've ever had this problem. I usually don't initiate contact with people and can only go up and talk to someone if I know the really really well, or have something specific that I need to talk to them about (and then that can even be hard sometimes if they are a complete stranger). I also dislike when strangers try to take up a random, non-functional (ie. social) conversation with me.

So you don't get in trouble at work for it, maybe you can create rules or a system for yourself for when you can talk to a random person? (ie. while at work, I do X, but when not a work, I do Y).

Yes, I do approach random people and attempt to engage them in conversation. I can sense their uneasiness to a very limited degree.

No i don't talk to strangers.

I don't initiate conversations with people unless I know them.

Is it colleagues you're talking to or members of the public? What exactly is your job?

It could be you simply have no need to talk to people and your boss wants you to spend your time doing the job they're paying you for. If you're talking to colleagues it could be that you're distracting them, especially if talking for long periods about things not work related (eg you keep talking to people about your special interest)

There are lots of reasons why your boss might not want you talking to people either due to your role, the people you talk to, or your style of talking.

I don't talk to people at all unless I absolutely have to. I would never go up to a stranger and just talk at them.

No, I have never approached random people and talked to them, and I am uncomfortable around people who do. The only reason I would approach a stranger would be because of a role they fulfill (a strange doctor, store clerk etc) and only in order to ask for their professional help.
I've never even been one to approach most people I have known throughout my life.

I never do, as I'm too shy.

No, I don't do that. It sounds scary.

I don't talk to strangers, even acquaintances unless they talk to me. Hi and bye to be polite in certain circumstances.

Workplace: I have to approach people and talk to them as a part of my role. No social chit-chat, only serious stuff.

I'm very shy and withdrawn so its a struggle for me to talk to people at all let alone random strangers.

Sounds like the original poster has an extroverted personality and is running into problems for being too outgoing.