As of this moment I'm not entirely sure what is up with me, but I am almost certainly convinced I have a mental disorder. Anyways, I'm exploring the possibility of me maybe having aspergers or ASD or something...so I'll just explain why.
1. I have no idea how to make and keep friends, and I generally feel uncomfortable around people that I am at least somewhat acquainted with, speaking of that, I probably only have one friend who I consider somewhat close.
2. I have a hard time making eye contact, I have been told I have a monotonous voice, I hardly ever display emotion(even though I do feel emotion very strongly.)
3. I find it next to impossible to form a close attachment to somebody(besides family), for example, when I become acquainted with anybody, they have to be just as weird and interesting as I think I am for them to have a chance of me forming an attachment to them.
4. I am not very empathetic, I don't so much have a hard time reading body language/facial expressions, but if I'm in a conversation with someone that is uninterested, it may take me a while to notice.
5. I tend to take things literally, and I can get upset/offended by things that weren't intended to be offensive.
6. From my childhood up to now, I can remember a lot of cringeworthy, embarrassing things that happened to me(or at least things that I perceive to be embarrassing.)
7. Any emotions that I feel usually last for a brief period of time, then I'm back to my neutral emotionless state.
8. In school if we are/were assigned a project, I would much much much rather do it on my own.
9. I have odd, somewhat unconvential interests. For example, I am OBSESSED with owning/raising/learning about chickens. And I will often attempt to grow like, edible mushrooms just for the sake of growing them/watching them grow. You know, nothing anybody my age is concerned with( I forgot to mention, I'm a 17 year old male :I)
10. As far as an intimate relationship, I would sort of like to have one, but I am sure I could get along well without one. Besides, I'm sure it would be a massive source of social anxiety.
11. I can get EXTREMELY angry in the blink of an eye over small things, and then the anger goes away as quick as it came.
12. In general, I consider myself to be somebody that is socially inept.
13. I am unsure whether it could be related, but when I speak out loud I tend to accidentally repeat certain sounds with other similar sounding sounds.
14. I am pretty clumsy, and especially at a younger age I would accidentally injure myself a lot (nearly lost my eye once when I was playing with a Lincoln log, when I, for whatever reason, decided to jam it into my eye.)
15. I am pretty sensitive to smells and sounds, very often I will smell and/or hear things that other people don't notice. And sudden noises, doesn't matter if it's loud or not, will make me jump.
16. Whenever I hear a pleasurable sound, like good music or something else, I get a pleasurable feeling in like the back of the neck and the face.
17. I talk to myself a lot, I tend to think out loud even in public.
18. I tend to withdraw myself regularly, and though they don't always make me uncomfortable, I really like to avoid conversations as much as I can, even with my family members sometimes.
19. Some textures are revolting to me, this was more the case when I was younger but it's still sorta there now.
20. Sometimes I'll repeat something I just said or something somebody else just said under my breath like once or twice.
21. I have some obsessive compulsive tendencies, like having to arrange things a certain way etc...
22. It's sort of hard for me to control my voice volume, sometimes I speak to loudly other times too quietly.
23. When I was younger, around the ages of 5-9, I was a lot more fearful than my peers about things, one thing that would barely phase one kid would have terrified me.
24. I'm kinda impulsive and I would say that I have a shorter than usual attention span.
25. I wet the bed until I was like 11 or 12 I think.
26. I have hideous hand writing, my hands tend to be somewhat shaky when trying to perform tasks with my hands, to the point that it's noticeable.
27. Especially when I was younger, I would read way above the level that was expected of our age. I remember reading at like a 6th or 7th grade level when I was in 3rd grade.
28. 9 times out of 10, I will withdraw myself rather than actively seek out a conversation.
And there's more stuff but it would be too much to read.
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08 Sep 2017, 2:19 pm
