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Deb1970
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02 Sep 2017, 7:22 pm

I'm now almost 47 years old and find that I'm almost completely isolated. I live alone with 1 dog and 3 cats. I had no children and have 1 brother who is mean toward me and both of my parents have passed. I have maybe 1 friend that actually does things with me sometimes. I do have a job as a digital print operator that keeps me busy and requires some social interaction for 8 hrs, 5 days a week. In my off hours, I'm alone. My brother says there is something wrong with me because of how I live. Does any one else live like me with Aspergers?


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Darmok
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02 Sep 2017, 7:35 pm

Deb1970 wrote:
I'm now almost 47 years old and find that I'm almost completely isolated. I live alone with 1 dog and 3 cats. I had no children and have 1 brother who is mean toward me and both of my parents have passed. I have maybe 1 friend that actually does things with me sometimes. I do have a job as a digital print operator that keeps me busy and requires some social interaction for 8 hrs, 5 days a week. In my off hours, I'm alone. My brother says there is something wrong with me because of how I live. Does any one else live like me with Aspergers?

Subtract the dog, cats, and brother, and I'm pretty similar.


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QuantumChemist
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02 Sep 2017, 8:16 pm

The answer is yes to your question. For those Aspies that are not good at relationships and socialization, it tends to happen to them as they get older. It can even happen occasionally to NTs that do not "fit" the stereotypical timeline for when they usually settle down. Friends in serious relationships tend to desert those who are single, especially when marriage/kids come into the big picture. It is a part of life.

As a self-identifying Aspie in my 40s, I fall into that same space, so I know how you feel. The few good friends that I still have left live out of state from me, so I tend to spend the majority of my free time away from everyone else. You are not alone in this.



luminifera
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02 Sep 2017, 8:51 pm

Are you happy with that? If so, I think everything is alright, probably? Hehe. It's nice to see older aspies, gives me a glimpse of what my life may be when I'm older!



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02 Sep 2017, 9:53 pm

I'm an autie rather than an Aspie, and I'm 60, but I'm in a similar situation. I live alone with 7 rescued cats, was married twice but never had children. I have one surviving sister (who scored high on an autism self-test) and we didn't speak for about 12 years or so, but now I call her every couple of weeks - that helps especially in terms of understanding our childhood. I moved from Southern California to Colorado and left behind many people I knew, and I had a couple of friends here, but one dropped me like a hot potato when I told him I started going back to church, and the other I seldom see, as she is very focused on a new job plus she and her husband are very busy with animal causes. My ex-wife and I got divorced about 8 years ago. I got caught in a mass layoff almost two years ago, and the social and technical interaction from that is gone. It's next to impossible for me to socialize at church, although I liked volunteering, so I've let that go. Mostly I spend my time alone - I do a lot of work on my garden and one-acre yard and cleaning and maintaining my house, which is rather large, and caring for cats with medical issues. I used to be a lot more active with animal rescue, etc. and now find myself in a time where I can do what I want, sort of an empty/unstructured space. I'd definitely rather have more contact and activities, and I have faith something will come along. Your brother is being overly critical: there's nothing wrong with you or how you live, given that you have Aspergers.



Deb1970
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02 Sep 2017, 10:13 pm

My brother rejected my diagnosed years ago and says I'm just crazy like the rest of our family. My co worker says he is just being over critical of me because his life is worse than mine. He was in prison for 14 yrs and now lives with his wife in a motorhome. She said he is jealous that I a person with Aspergers is living better off. I own my home, have a fairly decent job and don't have anyone that depends on me other than my animals.


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Dear_one
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03 Sep 2017, 7:32 am

Deb1970 wrote:
I'm now almost 47 years old and find that I'm almost completely isolated. I live alone with 1 dog and 3 cats. I had no children and have 1 brother who is mean toward me and both of my parents have passed. I have maybe 1 friend that actually does things with me sometimes. I do have a job as a digital print operator that keeps me busy and requires some social interaction for 8 hrs, 5 days a week. In my off hours, I'm alone. My brother says there is something wrong with me because of how I live. Does any one else live like me with Aspergers?


That sounds fine for an introvert, never mind any other considerations. I only know one person who I can spend several hours a day with, and it only happens about once a month. If I average over one hour a day dealing with mere acquaintances I can't get enough sleep and things go crazy.



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03 Sep 2017, 8:34 am

I'm isolated by choice, because I don't enjoy other people's company & don't like talking -- don't mind typing, but I rarely ever go back to threads to read replies.



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03 Sep 2017, 8:49 am

At your age, OP, I was basically the same. My mom passed away, I had just two cats left, no friends, no driver's license. Today, things are much better and I'm no longer isolated. However, I am not certain I will ever get married. I still work just part time, but my duties have substantially expanded. Yesterday, on my Saturday shift, I performed some new activities.



Darmok
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03 Sep 2017, 1:57 pm

We need to find a modern-day whale ship to sign onto.

How it is, there is no telling, but Islanders seem to make the best whalemen. They were nearly all Islanders in the Pequod, Isolatoes too, I call such, not acknowledging the common continent of men, but each Isolato living on a separate continent of his own. Yet now, federated along one keel, what a set these Isolatoes were! An Anacharsis Clootz deputation from all the isles of the sea, and all the ends of the earth.


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221B
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03 Sep 2017, 4:55 pm

Darmok wrote:
We need to find a modern-day whale ship to sign onto.

How it is, there is no telling, but Islanders seem to make the best whalemen. They were nearly all Islanders in the Pequod, Isolatoes too, I call such, not acknowledging the common continent of men, but each Isolato living on a separate continent of his own. Yet now, federated along one keel, what a set these Isolatoes were! An Anacharsis Clootz deputation from all the isles of the sea, and all the ends of the earth.


is this from moby dick?
i'd sign up for work on that ship. but let's not kill whales.
the smell and excitement and serenity and stillness of the ocean, painting the machines of the ship from one end to the other again and again as a job, interaction with only honest and nice autistic/aspie people, stopping by at the shores of different countries... i'm definitely up for it.



Darmok
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03 Sep 2017, 6:28 pm

221B wrote:
Darmok wrote:
We need to find a modern-day whale ship to sign onto.

How it is, there is no telling, but Islanders seem to make the best whalemen. They were nearly all Islanders in the Pequod, Isolatoes too, I call such, not acknowledging the common continent of men, but each Isolato living on a separate continent of his own. Yet now, federated along one keel, what a set these Isolatoes were! An Anacharsis Clootz deputation from all the isles of the sea, and all the ends of the earth.

is this from moby dick?
i'd sign up for work on that ship. but let's not kill whales.
the smell and excitement and serenity and stillness of the ocean, painting the machines of the ship from one end to the other again and again as a job, interaction with only honest and nice autistic/aspie people, stopping by at the shores of different countries... i'm definitely up for it.

You might have fit right in:

For nowadays, the whale-fishery furnishes an asylum for many romantic, melancholy, and absent-minded young men, disgusted with the carking cares of earth, and seeking sentiment in tar and blubber.... Lulled into such an opium-like listlessness of vacant, unconscious reverie is this absent-minded youth by the blending cadence of waves with thoughts, that at last he loses his identity; takes the mystic ocean at his feet for the visible image of that deep, blue, bottomless soul, pervading mankind and nature; and every strange, half-seen, gliding, beautiful thing that eludes him; every dimly-discovered, uprising fin of some undiscernible form, seems to him the embodiment of those elusive thoughts that only people the soul by continually flitting through it. In this enchanted mood, thy spirit ebbs away to whence it came; becomes diffused through time and space; like Cranmer's sprinkled Pantheistic ashes, forming at last a part of every shore the round globe over.


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peregrina
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04 Sep 2017, 10:33 pm

I like being alone. Many people asked me questions like: "Are you lonely?", "Have you ever thought about having a family?" My firm "no" seems to bother them. One of them said years before I had participated in some social activities why I stopped now. My answer: I feel burnt-out. No one knows how tiring socialising is. Spending too much with people taxes my energy and at worst ruins my creativity. People think I am depressed. No, I am not. I am quite content. :)



Darmok
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04 Sep 2017, 10:56 pm

peregrina wrote:
I like being alone.... People think I am depressed. No, I am not. I am quite content.

It seems a number of us are like that. I wish I was one of them. :(


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Chronos
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04 Sep 2017, 10:59 pm

Deb1970 wrote:
I'm now almost 47 years old and find that I'm almost completely isolated. I live alone with 1 dog and 3 cats. I had no children and have 1 brother who is mean toward me and both of my parents have passed. I have maybe 1 friend that actually does things with me sometimes. I do have a job as a digital print operator that keeps me busy and requires some social interaction for 8 hrs, 5 days a week. In my off hours, I'm alone. My brother says there is something wrong with me because of how I live. Does any one else live like me with Aspergers?


I envision that to be my future at some point. Though at the moment, my family isn't far.



DreamsWhatDreams
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04 Sep 2017, 11:11 pm

I'm not isolated in the sense that I have nobody around to talk to, but I do feel isolated in the fact that I don't relate to anybody and get little out of social interactions, if anything at all. I feel isolated for many other reasons as well. I predict alot of isolation in my future due to many factors. The depressing thing for me right now is, even though I have people to connect to, I still feel alone. And someday, I may be truly, truly alone.


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