Anger intolerance?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm 35. Aspie/undiagnosed (Medicaid is garbage). When I'm around anger and frustration I freak out. I violently start to shake. I googled "anger intolerance" and "anger allergies" but nothing came up. So, like: Is there something wrong with me cuz I can't deal with anger? Is the amount of anger in the world just that much where it causes panic attacks?

Honestly, I'm freaking out.

I suppose one could treat it like any aversion, and find a safe space where you can gradually increase your tolerance for anger. It would severely limit the scope of my activities if I could not tolerate anger, sadly. Self-defense classes which also teach conflict de-escalation could provide an opportunity to get desensitized, and you could learn useful skills at the same time.

Why would anybody LIKE anger?

Perhaps you're a bit hypersensitive to it, but I find your reaction to it pretty "normal." Anger scares most people.

I find people should seek an alternative to being angry and outraged all the time, rather than people thinking anger is the optimum way to express emotions.

I'm "allergic" to anger, too.

Yes. Anger is supposed to be nasty and to put others on the defensive.

I suppose one can be overly sensitive to anger just like one can be overly sensitive to anything else. Like some folks get sea sick just looking at the surface of a lake or a big river even if they are standing on terra firma.

But I,and most folks are to some degree "sensitive to anger". You have to be to some extent.

But if you are worried that you are more upset by anger in others than are most people then you might want to watch videos of angry people on U Tube, or somewhere to toughen up. Angry people can actually be quite funny to watch.

Crap. I may have to deal with an angry driver this shift. She will also complain about everyone. Guess I'll try being amused by her.

It's a weird idea... building up my anger tolerance. Perhaps I want serenity too much. I spend a lot of time alone. So much that I think I fell out of the loop as far as dealing with anger and frustration goes. Spent years unemployed. When I do get a job, I just look at my bosses and co-workers like: You don't have any right to treat me this callously. I quit jobs a lot.

Anger is this thing that is always in flux. It waxes and wants. Some anger cycles last a few moments. I also notice how anger waxes and wants over years. Socially, it seems to be spiking. Trump, tech breakthrus, rush hour, etc... everyone is more and more on edge every day.

As I hide away, I know not anger. Then, people start interjecting themselves into my life and it seems conflict drives them. They only talk of dislikes. It used to be about sharing frustrations. Now it's like imposing frustration. The anger doesn't go away so why not force everyone else to cope with the same amount of anger as you have to deal with?

Yet, anger isn't quantifiable. Noticeable? Sure. But not accurately quantifiable so if 2017 anger is more than 1997 or 1847 anger, we can't know. Perhaps we can diffuse anger, but I'm an empath. I absorb emotions. Diffusion is absorbtion. Absorbtion makes levels spike. Levels spike and my heart beging to hurt and beat wildly, I shake violently, I get nauseous and feel like passing out.

All because of an emotion we humans use to entertain ourselves with.

The irrationality might be the worst aspect.

I am also hypersensitive to anger. I think the reason is I have to much compassion, hence I feel the other's distress exponentially.

However I have understood that anger is not a feeling. It is a "way to express" a frustration. Everybody gets frustration but some share it more than others. You do not have to drink other's frustration.

First be conscious that it is "their" frustration. Tell the other person you understand and you are happy to help if the person is a friend. But keep away from people who are continuously angry, put a mental wall because it can be exhausting for you.

I'm also hypersensitive to anger and it's very difficult for me to be around. It was anger intolerance that created a distance between my mum and I last year. We're getting along much better this year. I've been hypersensitive to anger and yelling for as far back as I can remember.

Anger, simply a lack of active and positive thinking?

Anger is a reactive emotion so it's normal to be freaked out by the unpredictability of it.
Like, you never know where anger is going to go, if it's going to turn physically violent or not, and the shakes is a flight, fight or freeze response.
Constant flight, fight or freeze response leads to hypervigilence which, yes, can lead to panic attacks, just like any other perceived threat.