Autism and being overly supportive/loyal

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I don't know of my other issues cause it, but I give a thousand percent to friends who give a hundred percent and it makes me feel bad.

I am very loyal. I support people I believe are good people unless they prove otherwise.

Same here

I'm wary of the "overly" part of the question, and wouldn't want to tacitly assume that NTs have got the balance right or that we've got it wrong. One could just as well ask "are NTs insufficiently loyal and supportive?" I think there's a difference between the two groups, I think, but don't know, that Aspies in general are more loyal and supportive (when they decide a person is worth the effort at all) than NTs. I tend to feel that NTs (or more accurately, the mainstream) are undersupportive and not loyal enough. Perhaps some of that feeling comes from the common Aspie experience of being misunderstood, abandoned and marginalised.

I'm really loyal and believe in the good of everyone.
The exception is if you've hurt my friends or family and I don't know you. Even then I always forgive them and try to be friendly to them if they apologize.

Which sort of bothers me because there's a part of me that is saying "Hey, they made So&so cry, beat the $%^! out of them!" and another part of me going "No don't! Everyone's good inside!"

view loyalty as being earned through respect, and tempered unbreakable with love. if loyalty is desired, be admirable and lovely.

I want my friends to not worry am I give them access to my medical records.

Some truth in that methinks. I'm loyal to people I choose to be loyal to, and if they don't respect me I don't choose them. Not so sure that it's ever unbreakable, the chosen one might go bad on me, so it's ultimately conditional loyalty, but a hitherto good record counts for a lot with me, I don't abandon people quickly or lightly. I try to be admirable and lovely, simply because I can't seem to help trying to be that way. Admirability and loveliness seems to be in the eye of the beholder, sometimes people see it, sometimes they don't.

Yes to this. It's just lonely trying to find others who care as much as I do. Even other Aspies try to distance themselves from me because I'm too much. I need a dog.

I don’t have that problem because I don’t have or want friends.

Damn, I would love to feel loyal towards people besides my two siblings. Ever since I was old enough to realize it, I'd estimate at least 1/3rd of the excuses people make for not being available aren't true.

I have this problem in great abundance because when I find someone who wants to listen to everything that I say I tend to overdo it as always. There's a lot of information in this Aspie head.

Aspies like us always tend to scare NTs away because we're very passionate about our special interests and emotional control eludes us constantly. I think they're afraid that we might freak out on them especially in public. Which does tend to happen for me from time to time, actually more often than not.

As far as your dog comment goes that may not be as pathetic or as outlandish as you might think. In my country of Canada, Autism support dogs are on the same level as guide dogs for the blind and can be taken into public places. The effect that a support dog would have for ASDs like us would be tremendous so I'm seriously looking into this although the waiting list is quite long for Canada.

Dogs and especially Golden Labradors have a very calming effect on us and would provide the emotional control that we so desperately need. The fact that they're always there by your side has an overwhelmingly positive effect for Aspies.

get's to the point where I still give people a chance when they don't deserve it.

In the past when I had precious lil "friends", I stupidly made the mistake of passive aggressively tolerating whatever they did or said. Fear of rejection.

It's just so much easier to not have any "friends"



While they had the nerve to comment on whatever I did that they did not like. "You wear your pants around your knees!".

"That mean" when I pulled on a dogs leash

But when the dog chased after and barked at me she didn't say anything

And she knew I am afraid of dogs

Some precious lil "people" see themselves as perfect. And they are in the majority.

So they act like they have the authority of "most people"

Before I realized it was Asperger's, I always thought I made people uncomfortable because I can't help but connect with them on a soul deep level. To me that's giving my full support and loyalty, to them, I think it makes others feel exposed.

Canada is just so much more progressive than the US. I don't think I've ever seen a therapy dog for an asd person down here. My building doesn't allow dogs, I wonder what the policy is if it's a therapy dog. Thanks for the idea!

You're welcome!