WHY AM I LIKE THIS

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Hey guys!

I have been lurking this forum for over a month now. What brings me here is that my Physiatrist said a lot of my symptoms sound like aspergers/autsim/add. Just looking for other opinions (I dont have friends, only a boyfriend) age 24 female.

My parents don't really see myself as any of them besides possibly ADD. My mum is one of those people who wouldn't of got me tested because she doesn't like labels I guess...

I have always described my personality as obsessive but always changing my obsessions every few weeks-months (It changes) I have also had the same friend group from pre-primary to year 12. I didn't really talk to any else. I was very very shy and awkward.. Dislike being in a 1v1 conversation because I'm the only one there to keep the conversation going but also dislike group conversations because I never know when to talk.. or what to say..

The only reason I don't think I am on the spectrum is because I feel like I had a normal teenage life.. I had boyfriends even though I never felt the connection.. I think it was more to fit in and try be cool and be like my other friends.. I did rebel against my parents. (I drank and smoked weed) Though I still didnt know how to make new friends when I was at parties (I guess alcohol helped socialising somewhat) But I was also very obsessed with fitting in and being cool.. I did see myself as very dumb compare to my mates both socially and at school (I hated school)

and with sensory thing, I'm not really sure.. I guess I'm still trying to figure that part out... So far I have noticed I hate anything touching my neck (clothes, jewellery, hands). I don't like the texture of bread (I've hated it my whole life and when it gets too munched up in my mouth, I'll gag, sometimes vomit. Now that I'm older I do try to take little bits to try get used to it but it still happens, I tend to avoid it most the time OR spit the food out before it gets to that point...
I also hate the smell of bread.. and lettuce (apparently that doesnt have a smell, um what?) I find it very hard to focus out background music, talking and other random sounds when I'm in conversation.. and also lights depending on how high the ceiling is and how bright they are.. I will see a massive light beam coming into my eyes, across their face..

I also stopped being interested in my friends when I found a competitive game I really loved and became OBSESSED with that.
In the last 7 years since graduating I can probably count on my hands how many times I've seen my school friends. I never go out because I love doing the things I want to do (Painting Pokemon Cards ATM) Seems like a lot of effort maintaining friendship, even seeing family is a hassle most the time.. and when I do see them I only want to talk about what I've been into..

Yes, I do have a boyfriend we have been together for 3 years and he's the only person I dont get sick of.. I would describe our relationship as different.... Im not affectionate and I dont really like being touched, I have gotten used to it over the years though.. and I really hate sex.. Communication wise, is not the greatest but we are getting there..

I do have depressive moments, during those times I will not talk about it, eat or do anything really..

I could tell you more, but I will leave it at this for now.. Feel free to ask questions as well..

....IM VERY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW..

SO SORRY THAT'S IT'S A SUPER LONG POST!

Yeah that is confusing to have a doctor telling you things about yourself and your parent contradicts it. I swear some parents see their kids differently than other people do because they love them so much, they see their child as perfect and even if they do notice autism symptoms, they find another reason for it or an excuse to normalize it.

Autism is different in girls so I have read we're better at mimicking people and copying them so it seems like we have better social skills and understand social norms. My mom says I was just innocent.

Also there are lot of stereotypes about autism and still misinformation about it. I don't believe autistic teens don't rebel or don't go through typical teen phases. You've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person. Also it sounds like you do have symptoms of autism but there is a difference between telling someone they have symptoms of a disorder and having it.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I am not a professional and can not diagnose you but you have a lot of core Autism traits. The intensity of your interest in games makes me suspect you. Gagging on bread sounds like a pretty strong smell and taste sensory sensitivity and you have a lot of touch sensory sensitivities. The sex issues sounds like a touch sensitivity. People touching my neck drives me crazy. Lack of typical emotions and atypical relationships(rarely seeing friends) are autism traits. Just because you have friends and a boyfirend does not preclude you from bieng on the Autism Spectrum. Disability does not neccessarly mean no ability, it often means impaired abilities.

You are 24 years old thus an adult. Being an adult means sometimes going against against your parents wishes as uncomfortable as it is when you believe it is in your best interest to do so. She may think labels are bad but from what I have read you need one to explain why you are like this. If you want to get diagnosed we have members who will gladly give you advice.

Well hey I have some rather severe food sensativties and dislikes...like I hate condiments I never want mayo, ketchup , mustard, sour cream or any of that gross crap I also don't like eggs that seems to be the one people find the most weird. Like half the time when I order a breakfast burrito and say no eggs I get a weird look....still get no eggs but its like people think it is so weird that I don't eat eggs. I mean whatever I never liked the taste or texture of them.

I will eat like pancakes and sausage or bacon for breakfast but no eggs for me. And for all the people who think that is weird ..you are eating a single cell organism, and its creepy lol.

...We differ. I just loveloveLOVElovelove MAYO!, especially!







="Sweetleaf"]Well hey I have some rather severe food sensativties and dislikes...like I hate condiments I never want mayo, ketchup , mustard, sour cream or any of that gross crap I also don't like eggs that seems to be the one people find the most weird. Like half the time when I order a breakfast burrito and say no eggs I get a weird look....still get no eggs but its like people think it is so weird that I don't eat eggs. I mean whatever I never liked the taste or texture of them.

I will eat like pancakes and sausage or bacon for breakfast but no eggs for me. And for all the people who think that is weird ..you are eating a single cell organism, and its creepy lol.[/quote]

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One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I love eggs! They are my favorite breakfast food. I, like a lot of people here, also hate mayonnaise. I find it gross.

You sound a lot like me. I also learned about ASD from a therapist thinking that I had it, but I resisted it for years and so never got officially diagnosed. No friends, intense interests, a 5 year boyfriend but a very atypical relationship, not doing well in group interactions. I would suggest you read some books on female asperger's. If you're as much like me as I think you are, I think you'll relate to a lot.

I first read the Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome and really got a lot from it. It was the first time I'd even read something that I felt was describing my own childhood. Even though many of the traits described aren't as prevalent in women, I could relate to most of it and it helped me to identify things that I struggled with that I didn't even realize I did.
For books related specifically to women, the one I related to the most was Aspergirls by Rudy Simone. She really broke down all of the different ways that ASD presents in females and how it can affect a person's life and things that can be done to help. I also enjoyed Pretending to be Normal, but I'd most highly recommend Aspergirls and The Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome.

I have never been diagnosed, but some of the traits are definitely there:

Special interests, different in type (eg. Denis Istomin-a lot of people have never heard of him, but I want to write about him and introduce him to the world. I think a lot of people might be inspired by his story. I began tennis lessons at 50 because he inspired me) and degree (eg. cats-not unusual for a woman, but I have loved cats since I could remember and love to read about the different breeds. My favorites are the Siamese, tabby and Calico, because those are the breeds I have had).

Social difficulties, but that is steadily improving, now that I have found people who share my interests.

Just to add to my confusion, now they think I could have bipolar... I feel like all my problems aren't mood problems, I feel like I only get mood 'problems' because I see the world differently.. Like when my mum told me I wish your depression would get better so you can start caring about your appearance and putting on make-up (foundation makes me super itchy... I thought I was allergic but I feel it might be a sensory issue) or when my bf wants to 'fix me' when I don't like sex or even being affectionate.
no one is supporting me, when I'm 95% sure that I am on the spectrum.
I am only the happiest when I doing my 'special interest' and find myself sad when i'm in the process of losing the interest (ADD?) or when I have to go out, Like going to a restaurant for my birthday.. I hated it but I do it because that's what my family want.
My mum doesn't seem to get that when I'm in my happiest of moods, socialising will not even cross my mind!

Does this relate to anyone?