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babybird
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09 Sep 2017, 1:15 pm

The other day I was having a meeting with one if the directors from the company I work for when she proceeded to tell me that she is a sociopath.

I think she might have been taken aback by my response because I just looked her square in the eye and told her that she does pretty well to pass as "normal".

But it's been on my mind ever since she told me because I don't know why she told me. Does she think I'm one as well or did she tell me to get it off her chest or is there some insidious reason behind this revelation?

What do you guys think?


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Chichikov
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09 Sep 2017, 1:20 pm

She might have been using it light-heartedly, as in "I'm so OCD about that" or "I'm so autistic"



babybird
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09 Sep 2017, 1:24 pm

Yeah I get that but then she went on to list a load of symptoms and went on to tell me that if she hadn't have had such a good upbringing she knows she could be capable of terrible things because she has no empathy whatsoever.

It was just bizzare to be honest.


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naturalplastic
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09 Sep 2017, 2:27 pm

That IS bizarre.

Don't know why she would say that. Unless...

Its some trick to get you to confess to something (like she thinks that you've been stealing from the company somehow). So if she spins some yarn about herself being morally impaired maybe she thinks that you will let your down your guard and confess to something (not that I am sayin that you're really guilty of anything- but maybe cash is missing or something). But even that...would be a bizarre variation on a common workplace tactic.



babybird
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09 Sep 2017, 2:35 pm

Well there's nothing to steel really as I work in a call center.

She later gave me £100 voucher and told me it's because of how well I've done lately.

Maybe you're right in a spence that she might have wanted me to open up a bit because I never really talk about myself and everyone else seems to shout about themselves.

She's always been decent with me an treated me really well.


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AspieSingleDad
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09 Sep 2017, 3:34 pm

The 2nd most frequent occupation for a psychopath is a surgeon. A psychopath is one of 12 sociopathic personality types that's considered most likely to be capable of murder, etc. Let's say that we have our psychopath surgeon and he's working 80 hours per week and he's good at his job and either saves lives or at least successfully completes surgeries with success for his patients.

He goes home and he fakes empathy for his wife and perhaps fakes displays of affection, but overall he DOES care for his wife so he fakes these things out of whatever love he's capable of. She doesn't know this, and so she's happy, and he's happy as well. He fakes displays of love for his kids and brings them on family trips during the weekend and he genuinely cares for them, he just isn't capable of FEELING love and has to act in terms of displaying it. But the kids adore and look up to him.

Point of this theoretical story becomes, this guy is basically a valuable member of society and a true family man. Does it make a difference that he's faking it? I'd argue that the fact that he goes through the trouble of faking it means that he does care. He's only faking it because that's the only way he can pass as normal and live a good life.

If your boss is good to you and seems to have your best interest in mind, it might not matter that she's a sociopath. I agree that it's strange she mentioned it. It might be something that really bothers her and she wanted to vent.



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09 Sep 2017, 3:38 pm

babybird wrote:
Maybe you're right in a spence that she might have wanted me to open up a bit because I never really talk about myself and everyone else seems to shout about themselves.

She's always been decent with me an treated me really well.

Admitting to being a sociopath seems like a strange way to get someone to open up.

If she's treated you well, then try not to judge her for it (any more than you would want to be judged for being on the spectrum).

But I, personally, would probably find it quite difficult to not be extremely careful around someone I know to be a sociopath. It really can be hard not to judge people..


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SplendidSnail
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09 Sep 2017, 3:41 pm

AspieSingleDad wrote:
Point of this theoretical story becomes, this guy is basically a valuable member of society and a true family man. Does it make a difference that he's faking it? I'd argue that the fact that he goes through the trouble of faking it means that he does care. He's only faking it because that's the only way he can pass as normal and live a good life.

Agree with this completely. If we weren't allowed to fake it, those on the spectrum would be even more socially isolated than we already are. If one is a good person but has to work hard to do so, I'd give that person even more credit than someone who is a good person naturally.


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babybird
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09 Sep 2017, 3:47 pm

Thank you for all your help everyone. I do really like my boss and I have met many people who I've suspected of being sociopathic in my life who have proved to be extremely dangerous but who would never admit to what they are. Therefore I am always cautious around everybody, no matter what.

I did compliment her on "passing" really well when she told me because I do get how difficult it must be for her because it has been my life's work to "pass" as well.

The reason I suppose it bothered me somewhat is because maybe she sees something of herself in me. As I have from time to time thought that maybe I'm a sociopath. It's complicated though.

But thanks guys. Much appreciated.


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babybird
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09 Sep 2017, 3:49 pm

Btw what's the first most frequent occupation for a psychopath?


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AspieSingleDad
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09 Sep 2017, 3:57 pm

To be honest, it depends on where you read about it. For some reason number 2 is always a surgeon. Most would list a CEO as the most common occupation for a psychopath, and that's probably not a good thing.



babybird
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09 Sep 2017, 4:11 pm

She is either the CEO or 1 down from the CEO and I only answer to her.

It's a strange scenario to be fair.


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fifasy
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09 Sep 2017, 4:33 pm

Don't trust your boss.

They could be trying to set you up for something.



babybird
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09 Sep 2017, 4:49 pm

I don't trust anyone in real life and by the same token I don't expect anyone to trust me.

I will be keeping a watchful eye on her.


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09 Sep 2017, 6:15 pm

Just act like you are a sociopath, too.

Intimidate if you have to.



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09 Sep 2017, 6:20 pm

I would say that she thinks you are also a sociopath. I don't think such an odd confession makes any sense, otherwise. Lets face it, we can come across a bit like that sort of person (low empathy, or at least appearing to have low empathy, in most cases). We can also be very blunt and show little emotion. From the way you describe it, she sounds to be trying to let you in on her secret, because YOU will understand.