NT's, partners. family and the AQ test

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Voxish
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14 Sep 2017, 6:16 pm

My wife took the AQ test tonight, she scored 15. There is a reason I asked her to she would like to take the test, nothing to do with her but I think that it would inappropriate to mention that here.

Is it wrong I was disappointed she scored so very, very NT? Part of me feels bad for even thinking it, I would not wish this on anyone. I am not sure there is a correct response.


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DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1)
AQ: 42
RAADS-R: 160
BBC: Radio 4


SplendidSnail
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14 Sep 2017, 9:54 pm

I think it's very natural that part of you is a bit disappointed that your wife is different from you. We all like to find out that people who are important to us are the same as we are.

As you say, you don't wish it on her, and I'm sure there's another, much more important part of you that is happy that she is who she is. Just remember: you presumably married her because of who she is, and if she were on the spectrum, she would be a completely different person from who she is!


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Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder / Asperger's Syndrome.


AspieSingleDad
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14 Sep 2017, 10:09 pm

I think it's normal to feel some disappointment. When my wife was alive, I didn't know I was an Aspie. Had I known that about myself, I might honestly have felt a little envious that my wife was NT (very NT). Think of it this way, there's a strong chance your wife fell in love with you because of your Aspie traits. She saw you as unique from other men and loved you for it. And you probably love her because of her personality which partially has to do with her being NT. In short, you compliment each other.