Could I have ASD?
Btw sorry for really long post
I recently started reading about ASD (And have been reading about it A LOT since. Just about every time no one else is looking) and found out I actually have or have had a bunch of the symptoms. I'll just list the symptoms here:
I'm having a hard time talking to people I don't know and had trouble even asking about the simplest things. (Even just asking if there was a toilet I could use at a restaurant) But I have gotten better at forcing myself to do it though I still don't like doing it.
Very bad at eye contact and I don't use a lot of body language.
I like having my day planned out and don't like being told that our family has plans on the same day the plans take place. (So I basically want to know everything I have to do that day)
Senses: I've always been sensitive to light and just the small light from a power strip in the same room makes it hard for me to sleep. I can't sleep with my head close to a phone charger because of the constant high-pitched sound. Too many people talking at a restaurant sometimes makes it feel like my head is about to explode. (It's very random when that happens, it just randomly happens sometimes). I feel uncomfortable when there's noises like a vacuum cleaner or a hand dryer. (Probably because it basically disables one of my senses)
Couldn't find a sport that I liked and was good at before archery. (Which is very physically repetitive)
I've always been good at things like math, science and grammar. Basically everything that has a logical answer. And I've never been good at analyzing and interpreting stories.
I'm pretty much always doing some kind of stimming. Bouncing one leg, rubbing my hands, drumming on the table, scratching some kind of paint off our tables at school (Which is SO satisfying!) and when I was little I bit my nails to have something to chew. (Recently I've just been fidgeting with a couple of GeoMag magnets.)
I had both meltdowns and shutdowns up until I was around 8-9 years old. And I don't think the meltdowns were just tantrums since (as far as I've read) you have more self-control in those. I did NOT have a lot of self-control. I would become very aggressive and I would repeatedly slam my head against the wall and scream til I (sometimes) would pass out. (But I've learned to control my anger/get out of situations which could start them, so I don't get meltdowns anymore.) The shutdowns were much as the description I've read. I would just sit down somewhere and not talk to anyone (not even people that tried to help).
I've always been bad at talking about my feelings and problems. Probably because I find it hard to describe my feelings. Like I mostly know what kind of feeling I'm having. (Though 90% of that time what I'm feeling seems to just be nothing which I usually describe as "Fine" if people ask). So I end up mostly keeping feelings and problems to myself.
I'm bad at making quick choices and find them very stressful. (My mom has complained about me taking to long to make choices multiple times)
I'm really not good at lying and I mostly don't really see the point in lying. And I always follow rules strictly.
I always get very nervous about trying new things.
I'm having a hard time with empathy. I see them feeling bad and I wan't to help, but often I find I just don't know how to react.
I took the AQ and EQ tests but I feel a lot of the questions are situational. My results were AQ=30, EQ=13.
Not asking for an actual diagnosis, but I just recognise many of the symptoms and would like to know if I could be onto something or if I'm just a weird NT
What you describe appears consistent with the Autism Spectrum, but with the caution that I and probably most of the the members of Wrong Planet do not hold any qualification to diagnose and diagnosis can't actually be done on the basis of reading a forum post.
There are some important clues to look for. one is if the symtoms have been lifelong. Has it Always felt difficult to make that first move to ask. Have you Always had strong and passionate interests, and to what sort of depth to they go. As to depth there is probably a clue in how you write of reading about the subject just about every time no one is looking.
That is acute hearing - given that the chargers are working at around 20,KHz and up with some 50 or 60 Hz mixed in for good measure. Sensory sensitivities are very common.
There are some important clues to look for. one is if the symtoms have been lifelong. Has it Always felt difficult to make that first move to ask. Have you Always had strong and passionate interests, and to what sort of depth to they go. As to depth there is probably a clue in how you write of reading about the subject just about every time no one is looking.
That is acute hearing - given that the chargers are working at around 20,KHz and up with some 50 or 60 Hz mixed in for good measure. Sensory sensitivities are very common.
I concur we can't diagnose you, although occasionally it is a little easier to make an informed guess, but hey, that's all it is a guess. The question you need to ask is "Do I need to know" This is important. Personally, I needed to know and was prepared to go to a private and well-respected clinic to do it. Others (some of whom with respect may or may not be autistic) are happy to identify as autistic and don't feel that they need a rubber stamp from anyone, and that's fair enough, we are all different and have different needs after all.
The AQ tests and the other aspie tests you have no doubt seen are not diagnostic, but they are helpful. You need to go for assessment to know for sure. As the previous poster said you do have autistic traits, the difficulty arises because lots of NT people have autistic traits but are not on the spectrum. I know that sounds noncommittal, which of course it is, but don't for a minute think that that means a door is being closed on you, it most certainly does not and you are very, very welcome here. Ask lots of questions, off load and share your experiences and if and when you feel ready then go for an assessment if you feel you need too.
One thing I would say and perhaps others would back me up here? IMHO anyone who writes a massive introductory first post is a prime candidate in my experience.
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DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1)
AQ: 42
RAADS-R: 160
BBC: Radio 4
welcome to WrongPlanet,
could be worth looking into
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Obsessing over Sonic the Hedgehog since 2009
Diagnosed with Aspergers' syndrome in 2012.
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 severity without intellectual disability and without language impairment in 2015.
DA: http://mephilesdark123.deviantart.com