Sometimes disempowerment is a good thing

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

16 Sep 2017, 7:10 am

"Disempowerment" is a dirty word in modern cultures. But in some ways, I think it can be helpful.
This occurred to me partially watching art "flip-throughs" on YouTube, and while some are interesting and genuine, an awful lot are cheesy, gimmicky slogans just with colours added - "Believe you can do anything," "Never give up on your dreams," "Love is a dance, just surrender to the music," "Live what you Love," "Be the Miracle."
The sort of thing that makes me gag.
And, I thought, potentially a damaging mindset, especially (for me at least) as an autistic.
Because just because I believe I can do something, does not mean that I can. It's just downright incorrect. Sometimes, what I dream of doing also involves me being someone else in that dream, someone who could actually function in that scenario. In real life, it would be a nightmare, because I am not that. Some dreams really, really need to be given up on, in favour of something more realistic and suitable.
I think this is something I had to learn the hard way. I am an autistic person. I cannot do many things neurotypical people can, and nor should I expect myself to be able to or censure myself for being incapable of.
Putting myself in situations with this optimistic attitude that if I just try really hard everything will be great can actually be very dangerous for me.
I have to be more sensible about what I can and cannot handle. And that's only right.
These days, I find myself assessing options with a more realistic perspective than the "You Can Do It!" false cheer of the attitudes behind the above cheesy slogans.
"No, this job requires a lot of interaction with others, touching, and speaking, and you can't do that," or "You cannot cohabitate, you've tried and you cannot function, do not get into a crowded sharehouse."
This is likely "disempowering" myself. Knowing that I cannot function very well, so I shouldn't be put in positions where this will be required. People would counsel against this attitude, but I think it necessary to be much more realistic and honest about what I can do with autism in mind. It saves me getting into situations I cannot do, cannot handle, and could cause me damage.
Opinions?


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


Voxish
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 16 Apr 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 426

16 Sep 2017, 8:16 am

Ummmmmmm, where to start.

I think your initial choice of words is problematic, I don't think you really mean how it sounds.

What I will say from experience, and this only applies to classically autistic children with profound learning disabilities is the sometimes you have to make their world a little smaller. Too many choices as an example can be mind-blowing. it is just too much information for some of these kids to process. Giving information too far in advance can have the same effect. I think to call this disempowerment sends out the wrong message about the right intention, which is to promote well-being and keep arousal levels low.


_________________
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1)
AQ: 42
RAADS-R: 160
BBC: Radio 4


IstominFan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2016
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,114
Location: Santa Maria, CA.

16 Sep 2017, 9:25 am

Actually, I find it's more empowering to give myself a realistic assessment of what I can and can't do. It's called common sense and, in the vernacular, not putting your rear end over your head. In the long run, I find, if I use my head, I will go much farther in life.



the_phoenix
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jan 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,489
Location: up from the ashes

16 Sep 2017, 11:04 pm

People laughed at the thought of me becoming an artist.
Glad I didn't disempower myself.
Because my artwork is currently on display at an art center
as part of a landscape exhibition.
Sold my first painting this year.
Won two awards for my paintings this year, including Best of Show.

Does everything work out the way I want?
No, of course not.

Meanwhile, I certainly don't want to be the one holding myself back ...
there are enough other challenges to overcome.

So if you don't want to follow your dreams, then don't.

Me, I'll continue to follow my dreams,
thank you very much.

P.S. Yes, I recognize that along with strengths, I also have weaknesses.
I prefer to play to my strengths
and not let my weaknesses get me down.



shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,512

17 Sep 2017, 8:35 am

Istomin fan

Likewise I agree

:D

It sounds to me like "disembowelment" is the wrong word

Sometimes being practical, in the long run, is more empowering.

Maybe ideally it is best to know your limits. Like stuntmen and daredevils on tv put a disclaimer :cry: don't try this at home 8O

In that case it's better to say that you and I :ninja: can't :idea: do something

But the way schoolteachers act when you say the word "can't" is that it's your attitude. Some things you can and should try to do. And maybe you can't do something one day but you can do it after years of lessons

For example, in the past, I did not say that I "can't" do something physically or academically. And I did not say I :oops: can't :roll: speak Japanese :cry: .

But I could and did take two high school classes in Japanese and now I can, more or less :mrgreen: speak a little Japanese :roll:


:D

But everyone has limits to their potential

And you have to be aware of the limit

In some cases you can push the limit

Like I :lol: cant :? Run a mile in four minutes. Under any circumstances

And I can't run a mile in eight minutes either

Fine

Ok

But maybe I can run a mile faster, if I practice daily. If I run a mile a day, for a year. Maybe I can reduce the mile time

The attitude :x I cant :wink: sounds to schoolteachers like refusal to learn.

But in some cases "I can't" is correct, functional and necessary

And maybe. In some cases saying "I can't " is empowering



8)



:cry: