Feeling forced into medication.

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Hi everyone,

This is my first post here, I'm hoping to get some opinions about my situation from people who might get where I'm coming from. I was only recently diagnosed with autism level 1 at age 25. I also have depression that started in full force in early high school. Because of burning out of college about 7 months ago I am back living with my mom and stepdad. Two months before I left school my girlfriend of two years had encouraged me to try medication for my anxiety and depression (I didn't know anything about autism at the time). They prescribed me a basic SSRI in a medium dosage. It made my anxiety and depression so much worse that I couldn't go to school or my job anymore. Because I had experienced lows like that before I didn't realize it was the medication until later. My girlfriend dumped me, and because I was so far behind in school and still incapacitated I decided to take a break, which also meant I had to leave my on-campus job. I only had one more quarter before graduating. I didn't have enough saved to make it on my own so I'm back at home. My mom and I have ALWAYS butted heads about almost everything. I can't seem to communicate with her without me getting hurt or angry or frustrated. She is impatient that I'm not doing anything to help myself, even though I have been to multiple therapists which is a big deal for me (none of them have worked out yet but I'm seeing a new one tomorrow!). The situation I need help with is that my mom is heavily pushing me to take medication again, but I was against it in the first place and I am REALLY against it for right now (maybe in the future!). I have done lots of research (that's kind of my thing) and I completely understand about all the different kinds and how it's different for neurodiverse people and that it helps a lot of people. Fine! But right now I am very scared about going down that path because it ruined my life the first time and I can't do that again or I might do something dire. My mom is fed up living with me and I'm fed up living with her, but I'm not willing to compromise on something so important to me. What really bugs me is that my mom would never in a million years take medication for even a headache because of her religion. She NEVER fully listens to me or send to understand where I'm coming from. I have an appointment with a new therapist tomorrow and I am looking into getting an ESA or service dog, I will try ANYTHING before I take medication again. I will be going back to school in January, so we don't have long to be at each other's throats. Is she being unreasonable to continuously push me into meds or am I being too stubborn and afraid? My sister is on meds for her depression (she's not aspie) and is doing the same thing to me, so is my dad. I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading.

Also I don't know why it says I'm 26 in my profile. Not until December! And I forgot to mention that even though I tapered of the medication under a doctors instruction I still had really bad brain zaps and dizziness. Super unpleasant.

If you are in Oregon why not try CBD oil or a high CBD cannabis strain for your anxiety/depression instead of SSRIs?

That sounds like a very difficult situation.


You say you're seeing a new therapist tomorrow. It seems to me that the therapist or your doctor might have a useful opinion on meds. Have you discussed this with them, on the full understanding of what the meds that you have taken before did to you, and on the full understanding of your non-neurotypical brain?

Thanks for replying! I have used pot in various forms over the years but I don't care for the effects, I generally get very paranoid. Doesn't matter the form or kind. Anyway, I have not had an in-depth discussion with a therapist about it because I have not found a therapist I've cared for, so usually only go to one session. I am super picky about who I'm going to be spilling my guts to and also just haven't clicked with anyone yet, of course that doesn't happen very often! This next person integrates art therapy into her sessions and is aware of aspie issues so I'm pretty hopeful.

None of the AS people that I know personally have found SSRI drugs helpful. Admittedly this would not make up a scientific sample but it does make me wonder about atypical reactions. Drugs are trialled on animals and generally samples of people who are not on the spectrum. Then if they make it through to marketing, they are prescribed to AS people as if they will have the same responses as the normative NT group. So I think you are wise to be wary and you have come through a very difficult time. I so hope things will improve from here for you and welcome to Wrong Planet.

There's no absolute answer, as "reasonableness" and "being too this or that" are rather subjective, and nobody is ever going to know for sure what would happen if you did take the drugs, but you're an adult, it's your body, and it seems hypocritical of your mother to pressure you so much into taking psych meds while she herself insists on being med-free. If your depression or whatever isn't really doing your family any harm, I don't see why they feel entitled to interfere.

As long as they're not threatening to stop feeding and sheltering you, I guess it's a question of whether or not you can stand the nagging. Maybe they'll simmer down in time if they get it through their heads that you're not going to cave in to their request this time.

Personally I don't trust psych meds, and would fight tooth and claw to resist them unless I'd got to a state where my life was a complete misery, or I was a definite danger to self and / or others, and I'd run out of alternative options.

Having said all that, I don't know everything about the situation of course. I'd recommend excluding them from your life a bit more, by not being around them much, and by not sharing anything with them that might trigger a nagging session, but for all I know they might have some good reason to be so pushy. In the end it's your decision.

I can't take psych meds because I have a genetic variant of the CYP2D6 gene that means I don't make the right liver enzyme needed for SSRI's and many other drugs. I am called a poor metabolizer so the drugs just build up and causes an overdose. I only discovered this because I have a history of frightening reactions to so many meds that I was sent for a DNA test to see if there was a reason and there is.
You may want to look into DNA testing. It's quite a fascinating subject and in my country it wasn't expensive. It is done by a cheek swab. For me it has been worth every cent. I really don't want to be poisoned ever again!
I'm also seeing a psychiatrist next week about rTMS treatment. It's done with magnetic pulses (It's not ECT which some people confuse it with) It's meant to be very good but I can't speak from experience yet.
Good luck and I hope you find a way to feel better soon.

Thank you for that really interesting piece of information.

High CBD only strains or CBD oil do not cause paranoia, strains high in THC certainly can cause paranoia though which is why I suggested CBD dominant cannabis instead. Unless you specifically sought out CBD only cannabis, you would likely have not used it before. I suggest you reconsider and Google to become more informed on the topic.

I appreciate all the feedback. I'm doing okay enough that I can stick it out until I leave for school again, I'll just have to be even more patient so I don't go over the edge. She told me yesterday she'll never mention it again, ha! Fat chance. I'll let you know how the therapist works out!

This is simply my experience: When I titrated off SSRIs, I learned that titrating (easing off) from SSRIs isn't for the faint of heart. But, it is possible to do it slooowly. Staying hydrated and munching on some peanuts (protein) helps a lot; don't skip meals. If you still get the "bangs," add a little bit more of your SSRIs. But, the idea is to lower your daily doses, so keep that in mind when you adjust them. Of course, mention this with your prescribing physician, and stay in contact with someone at your physician's office.

There is light at the end of this tunnel. It takes between two and three months to say goodbye to daily SSRIs. Reward yourself once a week with something you want to do (movie, book, massage or whatever), but remind yourself that you are caring for yourself in the right ways.

Good luck!

From a short article on the CYP gene/enzyme issue called:
Abnormal Neurotransmitter/Hormone Levels


Excerpt from the above:
"Autism, a known disorder with neurotransmitter defects is typically treated with selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs; Cruciani, 2009). However, Cochrane has determined that SSRIs are an ineffective treatment for ASD, which might point to genetic polymorphisms in CYP2D6 and CYP2C19 that create poor metabolizers of SSRI medications and increased adverse events (Samer et al., 2013; Williams, Wheeler, Silove, & Hazell, 2010). Amino acid therapy, such as N-acetylcysteine (NAC) has shown promise in balancing excitatory neurotransmitter function without adverse effects (Nikoo et al., 2015). Further, elevated pyrroles caused by oxidative stress steal cofactor enzymes (vitamin B6, magnesium, and zinc) needed in the production of neurotransmitters, which may cause an unbalance in this system".

I have read a lot about NAC benefits for people on the spectrum, and it seemed beneficial for me.