1001 Topics of Conversation to Avoid: Social Taboos

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I constantly find myself annoying my NT friends because I don't know which topics of conversation are acceptable. There I'll be, talking about something I find interesting, when suddenly one of my friends abruptly changes the subject. The first few times they did this, I was clueless and kept talking about the old, apparently unacceptable topic; but after they changed the subject abruptly and pointedly--to the same new topic each time--several times, I realized that this was their signal that they were uncomfortable with the current topic.

I would like to help others avoid topics of conversation which tend to annoy or disgust people--things which "just aren't talked about in polite conversation". The thing is, there's such a lot of them--thus the figurative "1001" in the topic title--that it would take me forever to run into one of them.

Therefore, the purpose of this topic is to list things which are best avoided in conversation with NT's, or best avoided in certain situations or with certain people (please specify).

These are some of the ones I know about:

1. Talking about death or suicide (as a concept, not an intent) with someone who has been or is currently depressed.
2. Animals involved in common "animal phobias": Snakes, spiders, insects, possibly rats.
3. Anything involving urine, feces, vomit, blood, mucus, or other bodily fluids/excretions. Tears are the only exception.
4. The possibility that a male human being could become pregnant and bring a baby to term.
5. Graphic descriptions of surgery, or, during a meal, any mention of surgery.
6. Autopsies.
7. Descriptions of murders, rapes, or other violent crime.
8. The sexual act in all its variations (exceptions include between good friends of the same gender or, of course, your partner while in private).
9. The undead (exceptions for people who are also interested in vampires or mummy/zombie/etc. monster movies).
10. The organs of the human body, discussed while eating; or graphically with anyone who is not involved in medicine.
11. Cannibalism, human sacrifice, and other socially unacceptable customs practiced by other cultures.
12. Disabilities present in a member of the group having the conversation (unless brought up by the group member with the disability).
13. Torture of animals, such as flinging them out of catapults, cooking them in microwaves, or skinning them alive. Exceptions include young males joking about how much they hate cats. Actual descriptions by someone having committed such an acts are, however, still quite taboo.
14. Discussion, while eating, of eating anything not socially acceptable as a food source; this includes insects and other invertebrates (except for seafood), and organ meat.
15. Discussion of nudity, while in the presence of a member of the opposite sex.

There, that's the ones I can remember... help me out with others?

There are people at my workplace with the charisma to carry off jokes about their diarrhoea.
Plus, I've noticed some people manage to get away with suggestive sexual innuendo. Particularly people who are are known to be married and to have kids.
I know that if I ever tried any of this I'd come across as just a creep.

So, yeah, this sort of stuff is probably best avoided.

If the speaker is a guy, they probably shouldn't refer to women as being "stacked"

ARGH I have this guy who works in my office who does this constantly. He is such a j***
I am not NT and it bothers me!

Also, I have found that if you talk about being sick too much it bothers people.

I have made crude comments in the past (and still do) and people are always shocked at first as Im a petite female who (Ive been told) looks quite innocent. I actually do it to shock people now and find it quite amusing.

I know that in some circumstances you can't talk about drugs, I became familiar with this a few months ago when I talked about them at work, not about me taking them but about others. It made people feel uneasy and this is a crowd of people who regularly make dirty comments about diarrhoea, other types of s**t or sex. I'm not always good at guaging what is appropriate to talk about, but then I dont see why we are always the ones in the wrong, why cant they be for a change?

I would say that with some of these, it would depend on the people you talk to, the circumstances, and the nature of the conversation. I wouldn't talk about any of this with a total stranger, my boss, or my elders. And some of the more graphic stuff mentioned here is definitely out. But I think that, for example, a casual, lighthearted conversation about sex, nudity or bodily substances with some of my college-age peers (male and/or female) is generally fair game.

See, this is why it so frustrates me!! Any of the things I listed could easily be a perfectly acceptable topic of conversation, under some circumstances--but under other, very slightly different circumstances, you could be seen as an extremely crude, rude, or disgusting individual!!

Best to keep away from them altogether, and hope that people simply see you as shy? Or perhaps to say what you like, and let people think what they like?

Oh, here's another one: Apparently, birthday presents must be kept secret until they are actually presented to the recipient--even if both you and they know quite well what they are getting!

Yeah it's hard to understand the emotional undercurrents of some conversations.

I used to be pretty much NT, and I was quite socially perceptive, most of my conversations would be appropriate.

It is now impossible to be half as tactful. All sorts of stuff comes out of my mouth before I realise it, like Tourette's.

I think this has taken a subtle toll on the family. My Mother bought up the topic of bondage out of the blue the other day.

Last edited by Sunni on 13 Feb 2006, 5:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think it's best to observe the people you talk to. See what they like to talk about, how they talk about it, and what makes them tick. That's how I determine when it's appropriate to talk about certain things, and most of the time, it works. Of course, maybe that doesn't come as easily for you as it does for me.

Oh and another thing: Try not to radically change the tone of the conversation. If the conversation wasn't about one of the "taboo" things that you like to talk about, then you probably shouldn't bring it up. And if it does relate to one of those things, then don't suddenly make the conversation much more graphic.

time and place resistrictions are BS, all that should matter is if it bothers anybody personally.

Personally, i have no time and place resistrictions for topics of coversation. I'm about to finish wiping my ass, and someone comes to the door and starts discussing cannibalism, i'd try to make an intelligent comment on that.

SEX!

I'm sorry, what was this topic about?

OK, seriously, I do have some pretty bizarre conversations with my friends. I hang out with mostly guys, so you can imagine the stuff they are able to come up with. I can't post any examples because this isn't the mature forum, save perhaps to say we talk about Darwin award type stuff. In addition to stuff about sex/innuendos.

They can only be salesmen.

How did that happen? Generally, autistic people improve rather than get worse.

Theres a game a cat gets on a catapult and it gets bloody when it hits stuff and gets killed and a someone I know played it. Whoever made it should be areested I forgot the name.

Well, they do....for a while. Then they get tired of the time and energy spent on keeping on the NT mask as they get older (and wiser).

If I have to constantly worry about offending someone with the wrong topic, I quit hanging out with them since I'd find that person too boring, anyway. Those topics you listed are all very interesting, by the way.

I have often found that topics that are socially unacceptable to talk about in pubic are very often the most interesting. I am usually open to talk about anything and everything. In fact, intellectual conversation is probably one of my favorite activities

Without talking about sex, all you'd have to talk about is beer and pizza. That would get old fast!!