Hi all. Female Aspie here. Happily married. My spouse understands me better than anyone. We've known each other for 13 years now. He defends me fiercely, knows how to cope with my meltdowns, understands what my autism noises mean (and finds them "adorable"), thinks most of my quirks are cute, and has all kinds of patience for me that other NTs have never been able to demonstrate.
I got to wondering, is he also Aspie? Or just very reserved, logical, and quirky?
I wonder because he is charming enough to have a ton of Facebook friends and get along well with his co-workers (he is a QA analyst). He has no problem with sarcasm, witty conversation, or what-have-you.
Nonetheless, he very rarely socializes outside the context of work. He will attend things his co-workers invite him to, but he never comes up with any social activities himself, nor would he care to.
He's easily alarmed by loud noises and chaotic environments. He can handle them without melting down, but I see the startled look in his eyes, the sudden movements, the uncertainty of how to react sometimes. Even as an easily overwhelmed Aspie myself, sometimes *I* have had to help him in situations like this so that he doesn't come across as confused, lost, or bizarre to others!
He also has an extremely limited diet -- *THE* pickiest eater I've ever come across -- he will NEVER order anything at a restaurant EXCEPT either plain baked potato/plain French fries, or else a milkshake and/or other dairy dessert; at home or at work, he otherwise lives off fruit smoothies, chocolate protein bars, Breakfast Essentials, and cereal. Every once in awhile he will have the boldness to eat some almonds or peanuts, or some bread or crackers, or perhaps the occasional banana. He has never eaten any animal protein (I presume he gets his iron and B12 from milk, cereal, and the supplements he consumes), or any vegetable to my knowledge other than the potato. Some of his friends tease him that he will die of malnutrition. I trust his supplements are enough.
He spends most of his free time at home, doing activities by himself, or else with me. Does go to the health club a lot, but he isn't friends with anyone there despite having attended for years.
His voice is rather soft and monotone.
And for all his adorers on Facebook, he also has a block list about twenty miles long. :p He has little patience for what he perceives as illogical, extreme behavior. He can get quite nihilistic about "humanity" and its "stupidity," as he tells me frequently.
Anyway, just wondering as to what the Aspie crowd thinks. He doesn't care to get a diagnosis, and in respect to the "negative" aspects of autism, he doesn't have meltdowns, doesn't appear to have any executive function issues, and all of his aforementioned quirks haven't led to any catastrophic work or relationship events --
but it does seem curious that he has a lot of other Aspie-like traits, and is able to bond with me so well, better than anyone else.
20 Sep 2017, 12:09 am
