How do you find a therapist?

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I'm wondering how you all found your therapists and how you know it was a good fit.

I personally hate everything about accessing mental healthcare. My most recent therapist has been alright, but she has a tendency to be late/go over which stresses me out, and she missed this past session because she looked at the wrong schedule. I have to schedule my appointments each week with the secretary because my therapist is too worried she will overbook or something if she does it herself (how she is unable to handle simple tasks like looking at a schedule is beyond me).

After the missed session, I'm done. I can't do it. I'm ready for a new therapist. But I hate finding a therapist. I've looked at my insurance company's list of providers and getting ready to start making phone calls, but I'm so worried about putting all the time and effort into finding a therapist for it to not be a good fit. How do you handle that?

I can't be the only one who's ever had this problem.

No, You're not. But I was overthinking my reply. Didn't invent any strategical solutions.

I've had 3 different therapists.
The first taught me some valuable things llike not judging emotions, but couldn't really make contact with me or help me make contact with myself.
The second harmed me by reinforcing my intellectual approach to life, which resulted in total neglect to my emotional life.
The third one found out I'm autistic (which was quite a surprise to me... until I learned about the "female Asperger's traits" and it all started to make sense) and helps me exploring who I am and what I feel.

The only piece advice I'm ready to give - run away if you feel the therapist is imposting anything on you.

The thought of having to call up all the providers on my insurance company's list, find someone who is actually taking new patients, and who has openings on evenings or weekends so I don't have to take time off work, then hoping it will be a good fit makes me want to die, tbh

But it is a plan.

We'll see.

The last time I ran into this situation it took me nine months to finally go through and find a new therapist.

Thanks for responding, by the way. I feel like no one cares about my needs, my feelings, or anything about me. Never have, but I'm feeling it especially strong lately.

Sorry you're dealing with all these issues. It's very unprofessional of your therapist to be late so often. Have you addressed this with her? Finding a good therapist is a long journey, but it can be very rewarding. It's better to find someone who will really listen to you then wasting time with someone who's not helping you. Best of luck on your search.

I haven't addressed it with her. I've had people tell me in the past tell me my frustration with other people not being prompt is a need to control other people, and I that I need to accept that the only person within my control is myself. That it has nothing to do with respect. So I didn't bring it up.

There was one occasion where I was constantly looking at my phone for the time and got noticably irritated when she was going over on time (I had to do something after - that's why we have appointments so we can schedule our day). I don't really remember what her reaction was but I left when time was up and it was really unnerving because I felt trapped too.

I don't know. It took probably four months of sessions before I felt comfortable talking with her. I feel like I'm fed up with her lack of professionalism, and quite frankly, I don't want to see her again, but it's so much energy finding a therapist.

Okay, you can't control her but you have all your rights to expect things from her.
And telling about your expectations is absolutely right in such a situation. It's her job to listen!
Moreover, telling about your frustration with people is something totally in place at the therapy sessions.
The art of being assertive is all about telling people what you want in a respectful manner - and that is something you can and should learn, that is something my therapist is encouraging me a lot to do, that makes living with other people better in many aspects. If she doesn't help you with it, she is not a good therapist.


I think it's worth that.