Did your parents compare you to other kids?

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When you were growing up did your parents compare you to other kids. This question is especially for aspies who parents don't know about or understand AS or Autism.

When I was growing up my parents, espeically my father, was always comparing me to other kids. Whether it was a neighbor's kid, cousin, or sibling. My parents would say, "Sweetpraline, why can't you be more like Sally Sue, she's more popular than you." It's not just popularity. I got compared to other kids based on grades and other things.

When I became a teenager I got into an argument with my father because I had finally got sick and tired of him comparing me to other kids. I told my father, "I'm tired of you comparing me to other kids. I can't be like any of those other kids. All I can do is be me. You talk so highly about everybody else's kid but your own. You talk about them like they are better than me."

Well my father told me "Well you being you is not good enough. And if you want to know the truth, those other kids are better than you."

When he told me that, I was so mad. I stormed out of the house and slammed the door so hard. Because if I had stayed there, I would have done something to that man. It took me about 5 or 6 hours before I cooled down enough to go home. And after that I didn't speak to him for over 2 months. We would just pass each other in the house and wouldn't say a word to one another.

So if any of you have had problems with your parents comparing you to other kids, please share your experience.

Not as much as yours, but my NT mom (my dad's an unsuspecting aspie) sometimes tried/tries to make me socialize more. Sometimes she says "go on with the rest of the girls, have a good time too". That way she compares me to the "rest", but not to anyone in particular. If she knew about AS...

your father may have said this because he is an aspie?
it sounds like a very aspie thing to say..it may be truthfull but unkind.
i wouldnt have said it to my child , it was a cruel thing to say..you are right to be mad.

Sweetpraline, it sounds almost like we had the same dad. It can really hurt your feelings growing up hearing that.

No but I have compared myself to my younger brothers at times

My dad was never really critical but I think my mom compared me with herself as a kid and wanted me to follow in her "footstep"...considering that she was a "majoret" in the band,pretty,superficial,and popular....that just wasnt going to happen.

I tried to "compare" myself with other kids to gain my mothers approval...told her about the cruelties of other kids,their poor work in school,their drinking and skipping school,etc...that backfired because then my mom said I was "holier then thou..."She could never understand why I couldnt find friends and could not grasp the concept that they bored me and I couldnt find people who shared my interests.By Highschool I learned to lie to them and tell my mom about "invinted" friends that I had talked to at school....guess they probably figured it out when none of these friends actually called or came to see me....

yes. my mother and her fat lazy husband use to campair me to this kid named franky who lived in our neighbourhood all the time, "why can't you be like franky?" i heard it all. my stepdad also called me deaf and lazy, not exactly in those nice words either, i think you can guess what he used infront of them. eventually i grew over that and im still alive today.

waterdogs your a survivor.

living is hard dying is easy

My Dad had a hard life growing up and tried his best with us. But, I never got good enough grades, never was good at sports, always someone else around that was NT and better at most everything. My dad once told me, "You need to make some friends!" I had a few close friends, but he never approved, they were fringies like I was...

I've had the comparison problem ALOT growing up.

My parents would say:

"Popular kids don't like anime."

"Why can't you be more normal?"

Grrr...



-SpaceCase

Yes, it was a problem for me. My parents couldn't have known about AS (well, no-one did then).

I got a LOT of negative comparison with, usually, cousins. They were very, very upset, especially my father who was often even enraged, that I wasn't "ordinary". He was always going on about how "ordinary" boys didn't do this, and how "ordinary" boys do that.

was your father aspie too?

I've been talking about my adoptive father, and no, he's definitely not aspie.

He's just a very aggressive father.

As I'm adopted, there's a good chance my biological mother and/or father would've been aspie. I suspect more likely my mother.

off topic,but I got to know....keno..fellow adoptee here...have you ever wanted to meet your bio family?DO you know anything about them, did you ever think you were an alian from another planet?If you got an official DX...were you adopted young enough for you adopted family to give the DR info about your childhood?I am curious because I am going through the process now and not sure if I will be able to get a DX without this info(adopted at 5)

krex do you remmber any off your original family?