Annoying things people do to you because you have aspergers.

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Because I have aspergers a lot of people seem to treat me weird, either because they know I have it or they don't know but can sense that there's something off about me. What are the things that people do to you because of aspergers that annoy you the most? Here is my list:

Treating me like I'm an idiot: A lot of people seem to think that I'm a moron just because I'm slow to catch onto some things. I really hate it when people make me feel like I'm stupid just because there's some things in life that I don't understand due to my aspergers.

People thinking I'm a genius just because I have Aspergers: This is just as annoying as people thinking I'm an idiot. Some people think that I should know everything just because they read somewhere that people with Aspergers can be very smart. I'm not stupid but I'm not a scientist who's an expert on everything either. My special interests have nothing to do with science, math, history, or politics. My special interests are horror movies and the paranormal and that's about it, and even those things I wouldn't consider myself an expert on.

People overlooking me and talking down to me: This happens a lot in my family. I think because I have aspergers and my little brother has cerebal palsy that we're kind of viewed as the weakest links in the famly. I'm always given orders to do stuff that I'm never allowed to disagree with and nobody ever wants to listen to my opinion on anything. Whenever I try to talk they always talk over me or just ignore me. It's the same with my brother too.

I guess those are the things that annoy me the most.

I can totally relate to this!! !

Even with my own wife, she will basically talk over me if I protest some way of doing something that she insists on, more or less because my opinion doesn't matter due to inherent "lack of common sense". Even if the reasons I give are highly rational.

In a past job a few years back, I had a boss who would condescend me and explain certain "street-smart" expectations like not to talk about work-related stuff with a co-worker I happened to bump into because other people could hear and it could cast aspersions on the company. She thought I was more clueless than I actually was. I suppose that there is a certain "passmark" before you don't come off as being on the spectrum, i.e. for me I'd say about 65% of the time I would figure out unstated expectations but it seems like you have to achieve at least 85% to avoid detection as "weirdo". Same with the 93% of communication being nonverbal statement - I can maybe interpret 65% of nonverbal reasonably accurately, but when it gets more subtle and multiple, I struggle and end up sticking out. Then the condescending treatment begins

whaha lol, sometimes when people know it, i get a lot of comments like: but you can look me in the eye! and: well i see nothing about you (duh!).
Most of the time people think that i need A LOT of structure, or that i need picto's to function. When in fact i really can't work with picto's, and i hate an overload of structure.
I notice that a lot of people really just can't understand how come a person has his problems, but also has a high intelligence all in the same person. They get so confused haha, they don't always know what to do or to say. Think often they do the right thing, because they 'read' one article about autism, or 'their cousin is autistic too' so they think they sudden know everything about you. Sometimes they think i like math because i suppose to be good at, when in fact i suck (and i hate math)! Or that i have this 'thing' with numbers and stuff. Haha i hate numbers, and i can't count cards (like Rainman).

Well, i don't blame people for wanting to do the right thing for me, and they don't always understand me. How can they know we're not all Rainman's, or Temple Grandin's right? The Media is all over the place when it comes to autism, and they would like to give one image, because you know, that's just the easy way. It's easier to put people in boxes and to see all the autistic people as one. I really can't blame them for not knowing the truth, if all what they see or hear are those 'Rainman-cases' as that's what its mean to be autistic.

You know, i just laugh at this stuff. It makes me really laugh. Hard. because it's so silly sometimes. I always just want to believe in the good and positive side of people. Most people don't want to be mean or offensive of annoying. Most people are tended to mean it really good, but sometimes they just suck, because they don't know any better. I really don't take it so hard on people. And for the people who are mean, and who are offensive, well they are just getting my very pity, because i think those people are just a really really really long way from them true core. I don't bother to give them any attention or energy in any form.

I like to see things in a positive way with lots of humor and self-deprecating. If you're annoying on all the things that go wrong, or not right in your eyes, or expect people to be or to do stuff in a certain way, i guess you have a really hard life. If you focus on all the negative sides, than negativity is what you get. You have to be openminded i guess. Maybe it's not always easy, but it's simpel: just hang out with the people you get the most positive sence from, and don't give a lot attention to those who don't. Even when it's family. Because genes have nothing to do with friendship or the feeling that you're welcome just the way you are. My own parents really don't understand me. They never did, and they never will. And that's ok. I understand, that they don't understand me. I don't expect them to be anymore. I really don't expect anything from anyone. Because if you do, you'll probably get a lot of disappointments.

Hope everyone learns to accept people just the way they are, and focus more on the good stuff, rather the annoying stuff, not that it can not be discussed ofcourse

It's annoying when people assume that I am intelligent, and have these amazing maths and science abilities. Maths and science were the subjects I needed help with the most all through school. English I was just average at.

It's also annoying when I'm with somebody who knows I've got AS and they treat me extremely gingerly, as though I am some delicate person who is going to start laying on the floor having a meltdown at any moment. Like say if we go into a room and they go, ''oh is it too bright for you?'' And I'm like, ''no, lights don't bother me at all'', or if I'm somewhere where there's a lot of people chattering and they say, ''oh will you be OK here with the noise?'' and I'm like, ''what noise? I do OK in these sorts of environments, and if there was an irritating noise like a kids screaming, I will feel agitated inside but I won't show it to the world.''

I suppose I can't complain too much, because they are only trying to understand. I don't like it when people don't understand, so I shouldn't complain when they're trying to understand.

The only one I can think of just happened once. It involved someone telling me to stop staring in a particular direction while I was in Tim Horton's. I wasn't even staring at a person blankly I was staring at the entrance which could have appeared even creepier than staring at a person. I was wondering where my friends were that I was supposed to be meeting so even though I wasn't trying to look at the entrance I did it when I wasn't paying attention. I think I was just wondering where they were. This one person kept hassling me for it. He'd tell me in a very hostile voice to stop looking over there so I'd look away but then I'd look in that direction again by mistake and he'd tell me to stop. That happened several times and he kept attacking me for it. Then as he was leaving I accidently looked at the entrance again and he banged on the glass behind me.

People making assumptions about me and having the label define me and acting like everything they have read about it is what I do.

People treating me in condescending manner. They are treating me like I am a child or something or slow. This doesn't happen often but it does online sometimes and in real life.

Being under estimated.

People dumbing down their words too much like I am too stupid to understand what they are saying so they get too specific with their words. ed. "take the trash out and put in a new liner, put the trash in the trash can outside." like I would be too ignorant to know the trash goes in the trash can and that is where I put it when I take it out. What did they think I was going to do with it, leave the trash in the kitchen or just set it outside on the ground? Or my husband will tell me to bring him some food and then he tells m to bring him a fork too as if I would be too ignorant to know the food he is having is silverware food and you need a fork so I should bring him one too.


And a classic one for me, people blaming it on my condition like for my opinions or things I say or what I thought or what I like to wear or what i got upset over. I also hated when my mother would play the literal card on me because I would be right about something or she didn't like my opinion so she would tell me I am being literal and she can't even admit her bad.

Wow I guess a lot of people with aspergers do understand what I'm going through. Another thing that annoys me is how every time I like something and want to talk about it my Mom always tells me that it's an obsession and I need to shut up about it. I understand that aspies have obsessive special interests but I feel like I'm just not allowed to feel any joy around her. In fact she's never really asked me what I'm into or what I want out of life because it's all bad "obsessions" according to her. :/

Don't seem to understand?

They are a long way from understanding...

I used to have that problem in spades (lot of it). I'm better now, noise will get to me, but I"m better with crowds now. Better doesn't mean it has no effect, or that I'm "fine". Better means that I've learned technieques to subdue or put off that overload for a short time. Nothing to do wih being "fine".


Tell you a secret. Untill last year I didn't have a clue about my Asperger's. Hell, I didn't have a clue about people, life, anything. I believe everybody is in a similar state. Unless you put in the time and effort to read books, study the social interactions, read about relationships, read about the opposite sex, read about Autism and similar conditions, you won't and can't have a clue about how other people feel or what their needs are. No chance.

I don't know if it is related to Asperger's traits, but if I am not quick to respond to something said, the person says "HELLO!! !"

when Im not taken serious. Like my opinion doesn't count. because I have autism, and therefore ''stupid''