Trying to understand (my) ASD.

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Hi!
I'm self-diagnosed, and have been reading this forum for over 3 years, but never posted.
And now I'm trying to systemize what I've learned from you.
So these are two questions I want to ask.
Am I correct in my assumption that problems experienced by people with ASD stem from lesser ability of their brain to form (and transform once they're formed) subconscious (effortless) connections (both skills wise and emotionally wise), and compensation of this lesser ability by conscious effort. Which can come in different severity and combinations and include Communication, Motor Skills, Sensory Processing, Emotional Regulation, Executive function etc., hence the spectrum?
In view of that, wouldn't it be more efficient for parents and other caregivers to forget about developmental milestones and forming complex subconscious skills, which can vary greatly from age to age, from group to group, from society to society, and try to concentrate on giving their children more basic and universal skills that they would need in adult life, with orientation to their children's current interests and abilities, rather than their age and educational status, and at the same time try to develop their "special interests" into professional skills?
As I said, I'm self-diagnosed, and this is a very raw idea, so your input would be very appreciated.

Sorry if I didn't express myself clear enough. English is my second language.
Any thoughts? Pros and Cons?

It is hard for most parents to accept that their kids aren't normal, so that abandoning the typical development paradigm is difficult. And, if you can accept the new paradigm, having the resources to actually implement it may beyond the resources of many parents.

Perhaps the easiest way to implement it would be to have an unemployable parent stay at home and teach the kids. But, if you can't function well enough to hold a job, how likely will it be that you can be a twice gifted kid's caretaker and teacher?

Not necessarily unemployable. Unemployment, or partial employment can be a choice.
And I'm talking, not only about parents, but also other educators and caregivers.
Time and commitment seem to be the most valuable resources in this situation.
But I'm not sure whether it would work. My parents utilized both paradigms, and I think the unconventional one worked better for me. I would like to hear about other people's experience.

What about my first question? Does it ring true for anyone?

Still wondering , does anyone feel like they have certain rigidity in their unconscious.
I always could understand new ideas once they were explained in a precise and logical manner , and could aquire new skills by reading detailed instructions and practicing, but had trouble acquiring new skills by copying others.

Sorry, I'm not sure I understood the first question very well. Can you try and re-phrase it?

What is your first language?

I always had trouble with functions that include automatic processes of my brain, those which usually happen without conscious effort , I listed in my first message. Yet I never felt intellectually disabled in a more narrow sense of the word "intelligence" (like IQ stuff or math), provided I'm in a normal emotional state.
F.e. I always got As in primary school for answering theoretical question about the rules of the language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.) , yet my writing was always terrible in all those aspects , however hard I tried.
And now I'm wondering , could it be that intellectual disability , manifested in some autistic people , is a mere consequence of the same problems with unconscious automatic processes of the brain , compounded over the years of living in unsuitable conditions.
My first language is Russian.