Relating to others

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When I was little I used to think that other people weren’t real. I had a lot of theories I remember going over sometime between the age of 4 and 5 about other people and my relationship to them.

One of them that I thought about a lot was that maybe everyone around me that I talked to and took care of me were robots for lack of a better term though I didn’t use that term. More like they were just part of the environment?

As an adult I feel kind of the opposite. Like I’m the one that’s not “real” in the send that I understand other people aren’t just part of the environment but I cannot connect or form friendships like I see other people doing. I’ve even had people go out of their way to invite me to girls nights outs but then Idk what happens. I’ve lost relationships from not putting in the effort but even when I do put in effort people stop talking to me.


Any way just posting cause I’m wondering if anyone felt like that or idk.

I have an ASD diagnosis

I don't remember ever thinking like that, but I did read from somewhere that autistic children (or even autistic adults if they're very low functioning) might have trouble understanding that the people around them are living beings just like the child himself. Instead they might just consider them as objects or something that just is there. So I guess it really is an autism thing.

I’m not sure if it’s just that they were objects in my mind or I was trying to figure out why I didn’t understand people. It’s not like i viewed people the same as paper cups but I thought a lot about if their was another “me” obviously not literally me but... it was easier to imagine how cats and dogs were like me than people

I did a lot of what if they are x and I’m really just alone.

Also remember being told that kids don’t think the same as adults and having a full on argument in my head about how ridiculous that was because and years later bringing it up to point out that my mom was wrong because I thought the same when I was 12 as i did when I was 5 and why would she lie to me. Almost all my memories of being younger are being in my head, i didn’t spend much time in the “physical world” I guess

I’m having a hard time with things right now I don’t know why I’m obsessing but I feel like I needed to ask if anyone related