Is ASD different in girls?

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I recently read a post about autism in women and I identified with most of what was said. In the past, when I have taken ASD tests, they often had questions such as “are you good at math” or “do you have lower than average empathy”. Because of this I scored relatively low, and did not think I could be on the ASD spectrum. Then recently I read that some of the traits typically associated with ASD are different, or non-existent, in women...

The “typical” traits I DO possess are sensitivity to stimuli, obsessive thinking, stimming (hand flapping, tucking my hands, making sudden noises, humming, rocking), below average social skills, and above average intelligence (at least in a “book smart” sense). I also can’t pick up on sarcasm or subtlety. Or flirting.

Now that I am an adult, I think I am beyond the age of official diagnosis. At least from what I’ve heard, you must be diagnosed in childhood, but I could be completely wrong here. I was told this when people still primarily used the phrase “aspergers” and I was in kindergarten chewing on furniture (and sometimes other students).

So yeah... Too late for me to be diagnosed? Not enough quote-unquote symptoms? Not that I WANT to be labeled with ASD, but at the same time it would explain some things about myself, and where I fit in in the world. And maybe why I always end up dating people with ASD without knowing it.

You are certainly not too old to be diagnosed but I would recommend finding someone who understands ASD in women. The standard tests have a heavy gender bias toward males but slowly the idea that women are different is seeping through, at least with those who are more open to learning. There is a good blog called Aspie Girl that you might want to check out.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's from the DSM-IV in my late 20s. I do not meet the current criteria for ASD in the DSM-V, & I don't accept that label. I'm female, but the diagnosing docs called me "textbook". They also called me borderline because the more depressed I am, the more Aspie I am.

I doubt you're too old to be diagnosed, but I completely understand not wanting the ASD label. My diagnosis was based off an interview & the detailed notes my mom had about my baby & early childhood milestones. I didn't have many problems overall until after graduating high school. And that didn't become a problem until feeling very different and unable to relate to my peers & things taught in an Intro to Sociology course (& Intro to Women's Studies the semester before).

Many of the lists of "women" traits I either can't relate to, or I see them as showing the same signs the regular lists do. I don't get how women present differently. Slightly milder perhaps, but the traits boil down to the same things.

That said, I ignored the online Asperger's & Autism tests.

Either way, you're still you. If being diagnosed would help you feel more comfortable with yourself, go for it. If not, the downsides might make it not worth pursuing.