The Transition Between (Slight?) Misdiagnoses

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Hello, everyone. This is my first time posting on Wrong Planet, so forgive the greenness. If my message feels a bit disconnected, it's likely due to the constant re-editing of what I'm trying to convey. (BTW, I love this about virtual communication! I can take my time planning everything in detail, akin to having preparatory conversations in my mind, all day, non-stop).

The purpose of this thread is to ask for some advice and opinions on beginning to accept the transition to an ASD diagnosis. I never visited a mental health professional until the age of 23 (4 years ago). I was originally diagnosed with PTSD from childhood abuse/neglect, with a co-occurrence of depression and a general anxiety disorder. I joined therapy shortly after this and eventually climbed the ladder to group therapy.

Here's the problem: I was further diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder about a year and a half ago and my current therapist and I are coming to the conclusion that the symptoms and experiences I have are better explained by the autistic spectrum model. For example, what I considered hallucinations were just ways of preparing me for social situations or getting rid of my boredom (I would say it averages out to a few hundred tiny conversations, depending on the situation).

Things I do: smack my fingers on my face to get excited during the day (probably happens 10-15 times a day). This especially happens if something good comes about (e.g., praise from peers, teachers). Also, constantly expressing myself in a mirror to prepare for ways to react. Now, I know to keep all of these behaviors out of sight from the public: my brothers used to tease the hell out of me for doing these things. I've taken the AQ test, and I scored a 36, which was something I wasn't expecting. Reading over the forum, it finally feels like I can connect with people. I've always told myself, "I wasn't made for this world." And now, it gives me hope that I'm not alone in this world. There's so much more, but I'll limit the extra details for future (if necessary) responses.

Thank you for reading. -Michael

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Reading your post, it looks like your new diagnosis is a much better explanation than your old diagnosis. I hope it all works out well!