How should people talk to people who have

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sensory issues and/or asperger syndrome?
Is there a particular language people use to talk to people on the spectrum that bothers you? And if so what would you say to them? what should people never say to us?

I think people who talk to us in a certain way just because we have autism are just trying to understand, so they do mean well. But it can still be irritating.

At work nobody knows I have an ASD, not even the boss, and it's the first time in my life that I have ever been in an environment (school/work) where my label hasn't followed me around, and I love it. I get treated like an NT because that's what they think I am, so it ironically makes it easy for me to think and behave like an NT. The other day I had to train up a new colleague, something that they would never have done at my previous job because they knew I had ASD so they automatically assumed I'd have trouble showing a new person around. I don't seem to have trouble though. The new colleague is, as far as I know NT, and we became friends too.

I love everyone thinking I'm allistic.

Maybe "I have free speech but you don't."
It is reasonable to expect to be treated with kind awareness in one's own home, but outside, it is our own reactions that we should seek to control.

There aren't specific words to say/not say because that depends on the personality of whomever one is talking to.

I think the one thing that applies in most if not all cases is to avoid communicating with subtext:

a. be straightforward
b. don't read into what the other person is saying too much

In other words, a. don't speak with subtext/do say what you mean/don't rely on non-verbal communication, and b. don't expect the autistic person to communicate with subtext.

Sometimes I say things because I am exploring thoughts and ideas and I do not mean to do them. This can confuse other people at times.

Well, You should talk to them like any other person. But understand that there might be some confusion and they might accidently offend you. Different people want different things though so you should ask who ever you are talking to. I think overall having some understanding is the best thing for any conversation regardless of who the conversation is between.

I am not quite sure what you are asking. Can you be more specific in what you mean?

In general talk normally as you would to anyone else. While this varies from person to person who is on the spectrum, if a person says they do not understand, or needs more time to process information be patient with them.
For me, the main difference is that if I am nurvous and start to go in a partial shutdown, it is time to give me a break from a conversation and I need to be away from attention and I need to lie down and be calm for a bit, preferably in an enviroment that has no triggers. If I end up on the floor, do not even try to talk to me, and try to make the area quiet and airy and turn off any heating as I need a cool slightly darkened enviroment with plenty of air. DO NOT DO WHAT MEDICAL STAFF KEEP DOING TO ME WHICH IS THE WORST THING FOR ME. They automatically start to ask the standard questions assuming I have gone into a faint. Shutdowns look the same but if I am asked questions like "What is your name? Where do you live? What is your date of birth? What day is it? etc, I will keep getting repeat shutdowns as my mind has not recovered yet. (Shutdowns are a horrible experience to go through. Partial shutdowns, as long as they have not gone too deep, are not so panicky and if caught in time, and acted upon in time, I can avoid the full out shutdown experience).

But in general, just talk normally. Someone on the spectrum will then ask you to slow down your speech, or to clarify something etc.

That condescending sing-song tone of voice that caregivers use on pouting toddlers and Alzheimer's patients.It is particularly grating to hear some clueless NT say to an autistic person, "I understand what it's like to be autistic."  I want to out myself to them and scream, "You haven't got an effing clue!"

I think it is good that you are asking this question, as many do not ask and just assume.
As others have commented, i believe there is a tendency for some people who work in support services
to treat people with Asperger Syndrome the same as they treat people with Classic Autism.

I personally find it offensive when people talk to me as in a children's tv show presenter tone.
I have Asperger Syndrome with an above average IQ, so being treated as if i am a naughty 5 year old
isn't intelligent.

I don't think it is clever for people to speak to people with classic autism like that either, or naughty 5 year olds.
I have found in practice talking to people in a polite considerate manner that doesn't assume that they are stupid
is often very productive.

Other recommendations is to speak honestly and in a straight forward manner.
Remember people with ASD often interpret communication literally, so try and avoid any terms that may be confusing.

I also recommend keeping promises / your word, as promising to do something then not keeping to the plan, for what ever reason, may be interpreted as you being an unreliable person or source of information and may mean you will be eliminated from people to communicate with.

Some of us Asperger Syndrome people are hypersensitive to touch, so ask before touching.
Some people with ASD have such hypersensitivity to being touched, that when someone does it causes them to feel physical pain, others, are just very uncomfortable with being touched, due to having rigid thinking about hugs and being touched being part of sexual activities.

So when someone who they don't want to have sex with wants to give them hugs, they can feel uncomfortable.

Other sensory issues may also cause problems, for example, if you wear strong perfume / after shave, that can be enough to trigger a sensory overload. I was on the bus the other weak and a woman got on the bus that smelt really bad, i felt like vomiting. Her husband didn't seem to be bothered. Strangely.

The sound sensitivity can also be a problem. So perhaps talking in a quiet volume to start with, to see what your Asperger syndrome person is comfortable with. Or perhaps again, just ask what they are comfortable with.

Light sensitivity may also be an issue. Some of us Asperger syndrome people are highly sensitive to light, due to having extra brain cells in the sensory areas of the brain, which means that we take in more information than normal people.

Some lighting can cause almost instant migraines, I get these too, when lighting is reflected in someones tv for example. Fluorescent lighting for example are also often problematic, as people with ASD often pick up the flicker in them, which NT people often do not.

Perfect lighting comes from natural lighting and where that can not be provided, soft forms of lighting.
Without flickers.

I hope that helps. Biscuits, cake, coffee and tea often help facilitate communications.

sorry, forgot to include.

People with ASD often do not pick up on body language and some of those with ASD / Asperger Syndrome do not look you in the eye, but look away from you when speaking with you.

Some, rarer ones, will look at you in the eye intensely. This is still Asperger Syndrome indicator.

We also do not pick up on normal cues that the person we are talking to is bored, or that it is time to stop speaking etc.
(this got me many detentions when at school).

Some of us can talk extremely intensely too, which may be a little strange to you, often talking about our expert subject, ourselves. This isn't because we are necessarily selfish, but because we have ASD // Asperger Syndrome.

Many of us also will have at least one subject of special interest, which we can talk at length tirelessly about, if asked about. So if you are stuck for things to say, that's a good one.

One common feature among people with ASD is that we can be very tangential with the way we speak,
we often make connections in our heads joining the topic or subject of debate with lots of connections that are only
apparent to ourselves.

When that happens, we can jump from the subject matter to a completely different one, which can be extremely confusing to the listener who is not aware of the connections we have made.

This feature of autism spectrum disorder / asperger syndrome, can be so disorientating to the listener that it is quiet common for the listener to make the assumption that we are suffering from disorganised speech, as found in other mental health disorders such as schizophrenia, which we are not, as our speech is organised, just the organisation is not seen to the listener just to the person who is speaking.

Poor short term memory can also be a problem.
Hope that helps.

I don't get the "baby talk" voice directed at me, but if I did, I think it would be fun to use it right back.

i mean that people with sensory issues can be misunderstood by others because they have a different sensory system. they can have attiduted that other people don't comprehend and they judge us for them. the same thing happens for autism. and i want to know what would you like to say to people who treat you bad because of how you're born, who treat you bad for things that you can't change.

Idk man like fnord says the patronizing baby voice always helps me. People speaking slowly and clearly like i'm stupid is always helpful.
For real though I think the best thing to do is to talk to them about it. and Have some understanding I don't know what more you could do everyone has different sensory issues and different sensory needs. Autism spectrum varies extremely widely. What works for one person might not work with another. Ask the person in question.

I just prefer if people talk to me normally, I can understand things...I guess the only thing I can think of if I've taken something too literally I may need it explained more explicitly. Or sometimes I can miss sarcasm/jokes maybe take it a little personal initially till I realize it, so may need reassurance it wasn't serious(but not sure that is entirely an autism issue/self esteem issue or both).