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Masakados
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05 Dec 2017, 6:01 pm

I feel like I'm mentally past the age of a girlfriend or boyfriend.
I experience attraction but not usually with people my age. On our discord people talk about it and I don't know how it makes me feel. How were you at 14?



ZachGoodwin
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05 Dec 2017, 6:05 pm

Why are you even thinking about having a partner at 14? That's something you should have when you are in your late twenties! I may sound ridiculous when I say that, but really it is.



Masakados
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05 Dec 2017, 6:09 pm

Because I'm feeling mentally older than I am. I thought that was obvious.



elbowgrease
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05 Dec 2017, 6:11 pm

I'd say that girls dominated my thoughts at 14, and I don't think that's really out of the ordinary.



ZachGoodwin
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05 Dec 2017, 6:12 pm

If you are more mentally mature, you should put all of that mental maturity on focusing on your school work.



Last edited by ZachGoodwin on 05 Dec 2017, 6:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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05 Dec 2017, 6:14 pm

I agree with ZachGoodwin, I think you're fine not wanting a partner at age 14. To me, that seems a bit young to be trying to start serious romantic relationships. Heck, I'm 24 and still don't really have any desire for a partner.


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Masakados
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05 Dec 2017, 6:17 pm

I'm saying I don't. But should I? I both want companionship and don't at the same time. And I don't go to school anymore.



elbowgrease
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05 Dec 2017, 6:23 pm

You have a long time to figure that out, and it will probably change over time. Nothing wrong with thinking about it, I think, but you should try not to dwell on it.



Kiprobalhato
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05 Dec 2017, 6:47 pm

Masakados wrote:
And I don't go to school anymore.


well - that severely limits your opportunities to meet girls should you decide you want to have a partner. everyone i ever really cared about i met either here or in school.

you say you both do and don’t want companionship, can you explain what you mean by that please?

i know that there’s a lot of pressure out there, for young guys around your age to start chasing girls and whatnot, and if you don’t feel like you’re prepared for it then there’s absolutely no shame. proritize sorting out your feelings and figuring out what you want, before anything else.

IMO one is never “past the age” of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, but then again it doesn’t seem you’ve specified how serious of a relationship you were thinking of.


how was i at 14? when i was 14 a certain girl entered my life and since then she has not left. i was obsessed, limerent and infatuated, but i wasn’t mature enough for a real relationship - i had no idea what that even entailed.

footprints, and all that....


you have plenty of time, OP.


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ZachGoodwin
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05 Dec 2017, 6:51 pm

I was very interested in girls when I was in high school and even middle school.



Masakados
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05 Dec 2017, 6:52 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
Masakados wrote:
And I don't go to school anymore.


well - that severely limits your opportunities to meet girls should you decide you want to have a partner. everyone i ever really cared about i met either here or in school.

you say you both do and don’t want companionship, can you explain what you mean by that please?

i know that there’s a lot of pressure out there, for young guys around your age to start chasing girls and whatnot, and if you don’t feel like you’re prepared for it then there’s absolutely no shame. proritize sorting out your feelings and figuring out what you want, before anything else.

IMO one is never “past the age” of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, but then again it doesn’t seem you’ve specified how serious of a relationship you were thinking of.


how was i at 14? when i was 14 a certain girl entered my life and since then she has not left. i was obsessed, limerent and infatuated, but i wasn’t mature enough for a real relationship - i had no idea what that even entailed.

footprints, and all that....


you have plenty of time, OP.

This is a good answer thank you.
A girlfriend seems so informal. That's what I meant.
I guess what I meant by I both do and don't is I really care often but when it gets brought up I do.



kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2017, 8:51 pm

What kind of girl do you like, Masakados?



Dear_one
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05 Dec 2017, 8:56 pm

When I was 10, my best friend was 18, because we were equally mature in several ways. I was also doing some courtship with a girl. Throughout my life, things have gone better with a business partner or other person to help me not waste time where I'm not adept. However, romantic partners complicate life immensely, and with your age, the law would try to get involved as well.



kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2017, 8:59 pm

The law gets involved, in the vast majority cases, only when one of the "parties" to any romance is over 18, or over 21 (depending on the state).

If a 14-year-old has a romance with another 14-year-old, the law doesn't bother with them. They believe it's the parent's job to guide the kids in the right direction.



Masakados
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05 Dec 2017, 9:21 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
What kind of girl do you like, Masakados?

No one specific. Just the thought of companionship seems nice. I've never really felt it in life so I'm curious.



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05 Dec 2017, 9:29 pm

I think you wanting a partner is healthy.