Being asked the same questions over and over

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I am sure most people don't like being asked the same thing over and over because my NT mom doesn't like it either but she seems to react to it differently than I do because she doesn't get upset or anxious or start doing autistic behavior like hair pulling or hand flapping or hitting self. I have to hold all this in so I am not acting autistic or so my mom won't think I am trying to be Asperger's.

My son will do this to me and he will ask me the same thing again and again to get his way or because he doesn't listen to the answer so I get mad at him and upset because it makes me anxious and it feels like hands being waved in my face or fingernails on a chalkboard and it's hard to ignore so I want it to stop so I scream to get it to all stop.

Yesterday my dad did this to me and I answer his question about seven times and I was starting to get anxious and then irritated so I was starting to get snarky with him by saying "I already answered that and will not answer that again." I also decide I will just move upstairs to get away from him because he was getting me very upset and ruining my day. To ruin my day and to put me out of a good mood and to turn my day into a bad day, just ask me the same questions over and over until I am screaming at you and having a bad day and then every little thing will annoy me because I am now anxious for the rest of the day. This doesn't seem to affect my mother the same way it does for me because she doesn't have this affect.
Then my mom ends up asking me the same thing and I flip out on her and go up to my room to get away from them. It turns out it was the first time she had asked me because she didn't hear my father because she wasn't listening to him and she was too busy going through her mail. I assumed she heard everything he was saying on the phone because she was in the room. I was playing my new video game and I heard every word my dad said. It also turned out he was doing more than one thing at once because of his ADHD so he wasn't really listening to my answer.


So does being asked the same thing over and over also put you into meltdowns or shut downs or ruin your day and make you all anxious? Does it also give you anxiety?

I think this is why my son never really went through that annoying 400 question stage because of this. Kids do not like to be yelled at and he knew it would turn his mom into a mean person. I am sure he did it to other people though but not to me.

When I was working in a factory in the 90s, there were a couple of women with a well developed sense of humour who kept asking me if I drive, have sex, and do drugs over and over again. One day, I asked them to stop asking me those questions saying that I have feelings as well. One of them said, "Fine than....I won't talk to you at all."

"Did you have a nice weekend?", "how are you?" and similar questions elicit a grunt as an answer from me! Such questions annoy me because they are lies: the person doesn't really want to know the answer; they are asking because convention compels them to. "No, I spent all Saturday in tears" and "I'm angry" are not considered acceptable answers; only "yes, thank you" and "fine thanks" are.

How about when people don't take the time to remember answers? It makes you feel invalidated.

My GF will ask me if I'm o.k. numerous times in a short space of time , either I'm not convincing enough with my answer , she thinks I'm hiding my true feelings or she's just a worrier. I can become a little anxious about it as if I maybe displaying distress but not feeling it or trying to hide it but not doing a good job. I don't have meltdowns or shutdowns from it ( I don't think I've ever had a meltdown )

I remember when I lived in Montana, my coworkers and boss kept asking me if I was okay and I kept saying yes. I started to get irritated so my answers were starting to change to a different "yes" and then they were convinced I wasn't okay. When my mom told me it was maybe because I don't smile enough and I am maybe too anxious (I wasn't) they see it on my face. So I started changing my answer too "Yes and I am not okay when you keep asking me that same question over and over because then I am not okay." They stopped lol.

@ OP: Yes, my family do it, though not nearly as much as they used to. As you said about your son, they use that tactic to get their own way. It’s manipulative. It makes you start to question who you are, because it’s as if you have no voice, no identity, and it’s extremely distressing.

As for your other family members, it looks like they picked up the same tactic from each other, which was what mine started to do. It became so bad that a couple of years ago they forced me to move home (because apparently my own voice didn’t count). I was repeatedly asked the same question, “Can I move your belongings?”, I kept answering “No” and they would keep constantly asking the same thing as if I never said anything. I was also being told constantly that I didn’t have to move, while they were rummaging and touching and moving my belongings. My belongings are a part of me, and my parents rummaging, touching and moving my belongings was like a form of assault. I didn’t know whether up was down or down was up, and it literally drove me insane. I eventually started to break my own belongings, screaming, and I pulled a knife out and threatened to hurt myself just to get them to stop. After being told not to be so silly, I walked down the alleyway to get a bus to go to the train station to jump in front of a train. My mum’s partner found me and well, I had been convinced by my parents at the time I needed sheltered housing, and the warden called the police and said I had pulled a knife out. The whole thing was f*cking horrible and a disaster. They (parents) have never apologised to me.

I can compare that day to this story (2 hours 5 minutes in exactly, it diverts for a couple of minutes then continues) where the man is convinced by these people that he is a tramp one day and a king the next. They are such massive changes to him that doesn’t know whether up is down or down is up, all of these people are convincing him to believe one major change, then completely another. His life keeps flipping upside down. His own sense of who he even is, his identity, is destablised, and he eventually goes mad and accidently stabs the king. Though I’d never hurt anybody except myself, my feelings were extreme, exactly like his.