Diagnosic process in Australia

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Hi --

I'm a 31 year old undiagnosed woman who is going through the process of working out whether asd/aspergers is an appropriate label for a life-time of not coping with people/life. I had no idea what aspergers looked like in women, and had no idea that everything I'm experiencing and have been as long as I can remember is normal for a whole section of the community. It's been an overwhelming experience. My psychologist said it's unbelievable to her that I haven't been diagnosed before now (no one has ever even suggested it), as she says I fit the diagnostic criteria in a very obvious way, once you factor in what it looks like in girls. She said she doesn't think I need to pursue diagnosis, because she thinks it's so clear, but I want at least some level of objective report so I know it's not just another case of me being misunderstood by people. My big fear however is that if I 'fail' the test, I'm back to just making no sense to anyone.

I'm currently taking a break from study because I had a bit of an epic stress-collapse (that prompted me to seek professional help - I have a drs certificate covering me until January), so I think if I want special consideration I need the diagnosis, but I'm also just really scared.

I have two main questions:
1) has anyone else dealt with these feelings? Is that normal?

2) What is the Australian diagnostic process like?

I'm really scared about it, but I feel like if I know what's coming it might not be so bad. I'm scared I'll get confused (I get bad test anxiety) and not answer in a way that accurately represents me. This isn't unfounded as I feel like this happens to me all the time. She said she just wants to do the screening test, and that if she writes up a report on that basis that will be enough for most purposes, since I'm obviously no longer school age and won't be applying for gov funding or anything, so I won't have to do the 'gold standard' epic test.

in my experience, autistic like qualities are brought to light by parents to physicians, and are evident during early schooling, so everyone knows there is a problem when you are a child.

it's not something you develop as you get older.
it is there from the beginning.

early signs specific to autism are failure to engage with other people's emotions.
remaining expressionless as a baby when someone is laughing to try and get you to smile.

it boils down to some deficiency with "mirror neurons" which is where people identify subjectively with other people.

anyway, i do not want to give you useless information, but i will say that you seem to worry that if you "fail" the "test for aspergers" then it is somehow a disappointment for you.

your need for a label that you can rest your laurels on may indicate a non autistic trait.
the desire for external identification.

it's not always bad to be simply eccentric.

you can say "what i am is ALL me and not a syndrome. so make of that what you will".

I was home educated, at least partly because of my inability to cope with normal socialising. These are not traits that have appeared recently, but my entire childhood and teen years, not to mention ongoing into my adult life, have been marred by an ongoing inability to cope. So perhaps you're right that most people are picked up at school, and you're also probably right that I should have been, but I don't think that is unreasonable that I wasn't.

As for my wanting a label, you couldn't be further from the truth. My issue is that up until now, I have never been able to find a way to cope. This last falling apart is worse than any since I was a teen, but my saying that I got to a point where I couldn't avoid getting help does not mean it isn't a lifetime issue. That is a bit unfair. My reason to being scared is that need to find a way to cope for the sake of my children and my husband. My husband does 95% of the housework/parenting/dealing with preschool etc simply because I cannot cope, and it's getting harder and harder as time goes on. My struggles with noise, physical contact and chaos are making life unbearable for me. I'm scared because if this is true, there might be strategies to help me. If it isn't, I'm back to nothing working. So understanding the problem accurately is a big issue to me. I don't want to take on board a label if it is inaccurate, because I can't see how aspergers strategies would help me if that isn't the issue??

And in terms of not caring if anyone else understands, I honestly think that's untrue. I wouldn't say I care in the same way that other people do (for example, true gossip doesn't bother me), but I do want people to accurately understand me, because when they accurately understand you, they're able to give you what you need.

I'm really regretting posting at all.

neither do i. if you tried to fit in, then that would have been a huge plus for you.
i never tried to fit in. i could not care less. i knew i wouldn't be sentenced to death or anything if i just did as i pleased.
i took no notice of teachers instructions. that is why i was removed.
if you cared to be part of your world then you are further up the scale toward normalcy than me.



ok i was wrong. you need strategies for improvement tailor made for your particular station i guess.

why can you not cope? i know the physical thing. i hate being touched and i do not like intimacy (not making parallels with you because i do not know you)
but simple situations like planning and stuff should not be a problem.
if you are physically well, then cleaning should not be a hassle unless you can not categorize how to clean things from the big picture.

i had the problem of "where do i damned well start?!?!"
then i just broke it down into "bottles and containers", "empty packets", "used hand towels" etc.
if your husband does all that for you and he loves you that much, then you have a very good thing i think. and kids etc.

maybe latent anxiety is a problem that you have. who knows?




i hope someone else comes along and posts in this thread, because i have never had an ability to solve people's anxieties.

come on everyone. post your replies.

i will not post again because i know i can not help you.

My issue with housework is basically that I try and put a system in place that works for me, and the 3 other people in my home (2 children plus husband) either don't understand it, or forget it is important (or 3 years old and oblivious) or keep talking to me while I am trying to deal with it. I can't seem to multitask at all and the chaos just keeps multiplying which makes me feel like imploding. If I (for example) organise things how I can handle it, and someone else comes back and moves everything (kids touch everything) it just feels insurmountable. I'm only at home alone with the kids one full weekday (but they're home most of every afternoon), but this is overwhelming. Just dealing with drop off and pick up of the kids is enough to burn me out for most of the rest of the days (preschool/daycare are very loud, teachers ask lots of questions and other mothers always try to chat). I also am trying to get a major project finished for work that would be enjoyable for me if I had time to recoup, but I'm always working if I'm not with the kids, and I'm just in burnout. My husband is really good about it in one way, but he's recently said that the sheer amount that he's carrying feels like he's looking after three children (i.e. me and the kids) and he's starting to feel depressed and burnt out, so it's not sustainable. If I searched the whole world, I would never find a more supportive husband, so I am determined to make sure he's ok. If I had my time over again, I don't know if I would get married. Not because I don't love him, but I'm not very good at being married. I've never coped with having kids, but it is getting worse as they get more complex and louder/more physical. I love my children, but I do not enjoy being a mother.

I can see that you weren't being offensive, but maybe there's just a different life experiences issue going on.

At the end of the day, I think I just need to wait it out and try distract myself. It's hard, my brain latches onto things and can't let go. I think I just want to know if it's true or not, and if it is OR if it isn't, I want to be sure that is accurate. I'm sick of ending up back in the same exhausting pile of not coping.

Anyway, this is all stuff for my psychologist not here. I can see that my issues maybe aren't common, so I will delete later, but I'll just wait until I know you've seen my post.

You're better off not having any expectations of the diagnostic tests because that may sway your results in a way that may not be beneficial for you.
These are not tests you can study for, you need to be totally "you" -in all your spectacular, non-coping glory.
If you find them overwhelming and stressful, that goes in your favour too and needs to be shown to the diagnostician "as is".
Keep in mind that it's not only the tests themselves which are rated but also your overall behavior, appearance, responses and reactions during the entire process.
Good luck.

Btw, what you said in your OP sounds completely "normal"

yes i have seen it.
i never could tolerate anyone else in my living space.
i have always been alone.
i like it.
but if you really love your kids and your husband, then rejoice!
if you do not feel much about anything, then you are kind of like me.

my mantra has always been " i can't be bothered"
and that's the truth.

when i see ad's for suv's on the TV which show perfect family dynamics, i think "thank god i don't have to deal with that stuff"

but you already have your kids.
if i had kids, it would give me the s**ts. i would love them, and include them in my life.
you cant blame kids for being born.
if i was a father, then i would be devoted to make my kids happy.
what a blasted hassle.
i would not just make them happy because i feel i should, but because i would love them.
if they were stupid and stuff, it may be difficult for me.

i never had kids. i knew i should not.

but please don't delete this post because you will get replies when america wakes up and sees it.

if you are looking for answers, then keep the post open because they will come later i am sure.

Let America sleep, God bless their little cotton socks.

you are a bit of an enigma raleigh.

once, you said you were a girl, and now you say you are a boy.
the avatar you have i am sure is not you (as is mine not me).\

but one of the big things everyone has seemed to forget is that you said you had a terminal brain cancer and you had a limited time left to live.

i did not believe it then and i do not believe it now.

how do you explain your continued existence given the prognosis you heralded?

sorry sorry sozza's

^ Idk.
Ask God.

Sorry I haven't died.
I must be a huge disappointment.

Please don't feel that. I think you should come on over to the women's discussion section of the forum. Your more likely to find women who understand what it's like being a woman with Autism

b9's words were harsh but the point they were making was Raleigh lied about a terminal illness.
I think Raleigh was aware of what b9 actually meant and made a very intelligent (if disingenuous move) to deflect from that statement but the point remains.

How it relates to this? Not sure.
I guess it is important to get an official diagnosis to remove much of the doubt and put your mind at ease. You cannot fix what you don't know is broken.

I understand, I think. I only got diagnosed this year and my psychologist did not do the full testing on me, for similar reasons, related to having no expectations that I would need much govt help / services. She did only two sessions: a diagnostic interview and a questionnaire (I've forgotten the names of both), so the process seems a lot easier than in other countries. The interview and tests were fine, nothing to worry about, you just answer as honestly as you can and you'll get whatever result is right for you.

She diagnosed my son, too, who is 16, but he had to do a whole lot more tests, I think it was mainly some kind of cognitive testing, and he got a report several pages long. That was so that we can use it if he needs an IEP or similar, or to access other services.

I wanted the diagnosis for myself because ASD seemed to explain everything about my life and my difficulties and I felt I identified with it, but wanted to be sure so I did not feel like a fraud, either to myself or when coming on fora like this. I was glad I pursued it, even though since having the diagnosis things have been a bit rocky - recently I've been getting frustrated that the diagnosis hasn't changed anything for me in that I'm still dealing with the same issues.

For me the hardest thing is trying to be a good wife and mother because I have strong need to withdraw, even from my own family. And stress at work wipes me out, making those behaviours worse. There's a lot of guilt, too, over how much my husband has to do because I can't handle things that other people seem to have no problem with. I've been feeling so down about this, but will be going to counselling - and this is where having the diagnosis helps, because it is a way to explain the sort of issues you have and why you need to be seen by someone familiar with ASDs.

So I would say you have nothing to lose by pursuing a diagnosis, just be aware there'll be a lot of emotional turmoil once/if you get it. Hope that helps.

I don't know how things work in Australia, but at least it is important to have something in writing, so as to have some track record. I suppose from your text that your autism is so obvious your therapist doesn't have much doubt.

Since you've had so much trouble with studies, you might need supports or study part time, and for that you need some documentation. Sometimes therapists fail to see how serious a situation is, but you have to change the way you do things, or you'll crash again.

I went through a thorough testing process recently, but in my case this has given me access to some assistance, so the paperwork was important, and it was important that it be done properly. In the case that you will need more help later, it is possible that there will be another round of more rigorous testing.

I think the self doubt is a classic autistic thing. A lot of people have it. That said, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that giving yourself a diagnosis like this is not a good idea. But you're not. You're talking to a therapist, who says it's really obvious. So I would lay off the worries a bit.

I went through a lot of mood swings and emotional eruptions after diagnosis. Some months later, it's getting better. It's a lot to take in. Makes you reevaluate a lot of stuff. Give yourself time to process.

You were a bit unlucky with this thread. It's really accidental, most threads don't end up like this, and I don't think it's got anything to do with you.

I was diagnosed a few years back in Australia (QLD)
I basically emailed a psychologist i felt had a good enough understanding of ASD and asked her if she could see me for a diagnosis

It took roughly 5 X 1 hour sessions with a mix of questionnaires and tests (https://www.questionwritertracker.com/q ... K3TKB.html) which were pretty straightforward, and like a poster said earlier, you don't really have to 'study' for these kinds of tests.

I had the same fear going in to the process of 'what if i'm wrong', but ultimately if you are convinced and your therapist is convinced i'd say go for it. The diagnostic criteria is only a label to find the best course of action to help you, it isn't a definitive label of you as a person. A car is a label, a 2017 subaru impreza wrx is a specific car but it fits under the label 'car' for categorization purposes.

Good luck!

PM me if you have any further questions