Having parents that don't understand you at all.

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Does anyone else find that your parents don't understand you at all? My adoptive parents bought me up from the age of one year old and I lived with them until I moved out at the age of 21. They decided to get me tested for AS at age 4 which was confirmed. Even though they chose to have me tested, they don't seem to know a thing about aspergers. If i had a kid diagnosed with ASD, i would spend hours studying and reading up on the subject to get a better understanding of them. They did make shure I had all the help I needed when growing up but it's how I was often treated. My dad knew I had major issues with crowds and heat sensitivity, yet I was forced to go to football games with 25,000 other people and busy packed malls and supermarkets that were always too hot for me to handle, he would push me and tell me to stop being silly. I dreaded these places a lot. When I was badly bullied in school and beaten up outside of school my dad would laugh at me for being upset and tell me to hit them back. Every time I visit them after moving out they would mock me for not having a girlfriend as I have only ever had 1 serious relationship. They mock me for not going out partying and drinking and tell me im boring and need to get out more and go partying in Ibiza when they know I wouldn't even make it through the check in gates in the airport, don't have many friends, don't have the best social skills and severe social anxiety. They pester me and tell me how sad i am for not following all the latest fashion trends, moan at me for not getting a hair cut when they know I don't like going to the hair dressers and so on. My close friends have given me more support and help than my parents ever did. I don't know whether they were trying to help me by toughing me up and making me face my fears or what.

Anyone else grow up like this?

I think some people are just shockingly oblivious. My dad is super sensitive and will be lovely, until he has a breakdown when you need to take over everything. And my mum lives in some kinda fantasy land where everything is okay. My grandma likes to tell me how she would have hit me as a kid. Have to hold back saying 'Don't worry your son did that for you'.

Urgh anyway. I am really sorry that you have had to put up with that. My family frequently make jokes out of things. Ive recently told my family I am seeking an ASD diagnosis and it's become a running family joke. I often don't think there is much you can do, I would maybe try to talk to them, but if you have tried I would just avoid them and prepare time to recover after you see them. It's sad that family can often become something you dread dealing with.

The unfortunate situation here is, these "people" are so wrapped up in the ingrained mentality that people who have any kind of mental abnormality or psychiatric disorder are to be swept under the rug, or perhaps rather their symptoms swept under the rug; as far as they're concerned, you should have just "been normal yesterday", and they live their lives under that (ostensibly false) premise. They're so determined to live this way that it's virtually impossible to convince them that they're mistaken. It seems that they're more concerned about their own peer acceptance that if someone in their circle has a stigmatized condition, they'll marginalize it, take a flippant or harsh attitude towards it, etc. It sucks, but yeah, you've got to stick with and cherish those who are genuinely helpful and concerned about you.

My parents don't understand me.
They always wanted me to act like an NT person, even when it's difficult for me to do so.
They won't even read the books about parenting autistic children.
I don't think they even tried.

I do not know what is worse people not understanding you, or people understanding you and believing your core traits are wrong.

My mom is very emotional when stressed and yells at me...I think its emotional abuse. Whenever I would freak out as a teenager she would call it having a "fitso". Last night we got into a fight and I started screaming and kicking my feet. (She was screaming at me too for "making my siblings not wanting to be around my mom's place). She said I was having a "fitso". I said "No that's not what its called". A week ago I told her I'm autistic and she said no you're not you're just shy/anxious. Last night during the fight (it didn't get physical) I told her I think she has ASD too. Because I believe she does and has no idea. How can you be 55 and not know?

On Friday during a HVN (Hearing Voices Network) group, I was trying to explain that I want to be different and that I'm okay but they think I should want to recover. I mentioned some songs that said "Its okay to not be okay" and "right now I want to be unokay". (Plumb and Katelyn tarver) And I was overwhelmed by all the people telling me stop being nervous so I excused myself and said I have to scream and I cant do it here and I left. I ran down the sidewalk screaming and it made me so happy and free, like the way Clark Kent and Lana Lang screamed on the football field in Smallville season 1. Wasn't a full freak out like yesterday, but screaming with no one but passerbys and people in cars could hear. No one I see as a friend heard. And I jumped up and down happy, it helped.

So as for family. Just be patient and be there. They'll be there too. It can take a while. My mom changed a lot and accepts me more.

My parents are on the list of people who didn't understand me at all, including my Aspie mother. However, there is no list of people who really understand me well, and I've tried several professionals.

I was born with physical & mental disabilities besides Aspergers that no one including my parents were really aware of & definitely did NOT understand. They suspected me of being on the spectrum since I was a toddler but were very critical of my Aspie quirks, issues, & disabilities in general. My parents have been independent people their whole lives who had to work hard to go from poor to lower middle-class. They cant grasp why I had such a hard time finding employment & thought that I was lazy. My mom made straight As in skewl & worked her butt off to get them. I tried my very best in class but I s#cked cuz of dyslexia. I never learned from studying even when I did try & I was so burnt out from being at skewl that I really needed time to wind down & relax when I got home. My mom thought I wasn't trying at all & believed I could of done alot better if I would of tried more. She also thinks I should of gone to college even thou I only passed some of my classes because my teachers curved my grade despite the fact I tried my very best in class.