Do you avoid conflict whenever possible?

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Do you avoid conflict?
I avoid conflict whenever's possible 66%  66%  [ 35 ]
I don't like it, but won't avoid it. 30%  30%  [ 16 ]
I have no problem with conflict 4%  4%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 53

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17 Dec 2017, 1:49 am

I hate arguments. Never know what to say in an argument and how to say it. Never know what to do. Don't want to confront my neighbors when they do things to annoy me.


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MrsPeel
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17 Dec 2017, 2:12 am

Same here



Edna3362
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17 Dec 2017, 2:44 am

I don't like it either.
I'm never good with any form of verbal spats. I prefer something more direct, something to do and done, and something that would solve things immediately without the need for argument.

As for, say, rhetoric stuff like beliefs and facts -- if they're some sort of fanatic, I won't ever listen to them. Especially when things are not supposed to affect them in any way or form except for just differing views and opinions.
For I don't simply believe or disbelieve -- they have no right to change my mind like that.


I don't need to avoid conflict in real life myself per se :lol: because people around me makes my job easier by themselves avoiding conflict whenever possible.


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Mr SmokeTooMuch
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17 Dec 2017, 6:35 am

I like arguing, probably, because people rarely speak frankly otherwise.
And I don’t understand other forms of communication. But I hate conflicts.


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MariaTheFictionkin
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17 Dec 2017, 6:39 am

Yes, as I can get mad quick and easily depending on the subject. I hate getting into conflicts with others because it does nothing but drain me and I become defensive.

With friends, it's hard for me to get upset with them. I don't like getting into arguments with the ones I love so I try to not engage in any sort of conflict with them.


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whatamievendoing
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17 Dec 2017, 7:11 am

I'm in two minds about it in the sense that I don't like conflict, but if I find myself caught in an argument, I'll stand up for myself and fight instead of looking for a way out.


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SplendidSnail
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17 Dec 2017, 10:30 am

I hate arguing, but I sure seem to do it an awful lot. If someone says something I disagree with, it seems to invariably lead to an argument.


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Ashariel
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17 Dec 2017, 10:34 am

I used to be a doormat, to the point where I allowed people to abuse me. But that's not right either, so nowadays if I find a situation unacceptable, I will speak up, in an effort to resolve the conflict, rather than avoid it.



EzraS
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17 Dec 2017, 11:49 am

Not always with my family, especially my cousin. And not always here. But otherwise very much.



elbowgrease
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17 Dec 2017, 12:07 pm

It really depends on the situation.
Sometimes it's best to avoid it, sometimes it can be resolved.



Trogluddite
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17 Dec 2017, 1:31 pm

Being a "people pleaser" is definitely a big component of "passing" for me. This is largely to avoid conflict, but it can also be a quick way to end a conversation when I'm struggling to be social. I can do it so automatically sometimes that I get into trouble for letting people down after agreeing to do something without having registered what it is that I've been asked to do. If I'm interrupted from hyper-focusing on something, and the request is simple enough, I'm sometimes barely aware that a conversation even happened.

I think I stand up for myself a little better now than I did before I was diagnosed, but it's a slow process changing something that has been so habitual for decades.


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Ichinin
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18 Dec 2017, 3:20 am

No, i have integrity and a spine.


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MrsPeel
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18 Dec 2017, 4:48 am

It's got nothing to do with integrity and spine. It's just that conflict is so emotionally damaging to me, I have to balance the gain of arguing against the emotional fall-out that will follow. Often it's healthier for me to steer clear.



AntisocialButterfly
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18 Dec 2017, 4:59 am

I hate arguments but if I think someone is incorrect and will impact myself and others I am not afraid to put forward my point. There is also an aspect of having to get used to conflict because often people think I am challenging them when I don't even mean to be! People have called me scary alot but I don't ever understand how I am scary :/



Sweetleaf
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18 Dec 2017, 5:10 am

Yes....and I f**king hate it, why I am I this way....I wish I could just tell people to f**k off instead of worrying about being the bigger person. I want to hit someone who disagrees with me, with a blunt object and knock the f**k out of them, but I wont because human/neighborly concern. Granted all kinds of people in various neighborhoods deserve it.


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MusicForTheMind
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18 Dec 2017, 5:28 am

My God,
I had no idea this was an autisctic characteristic.
For years....literally years, people have pointed this out about me.
It cost me dearly in the job I used to be in, as I was a Manager, and used to get picked up on how much I would avoid conflict, when other Managers seemed to relish in the challenge.
I'm only recently diagnosed and lots of things are making sense to me know.
However, i would ask as many of you as possible to reply to this poll and tell me how you feel about conflict.
This is easily the most revelatory issue for me tht has come up post diagnosis.
Anybody, please feel free to PM me.
Thanks for creatting this thread.


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