Empathetic/Socially Exceptable Cliche

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cecilfienkelstien
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03 Jun 2007, 1:18 pm

Sorry, I'm so angry/ confused right now.
Last night I went to a wedding for my support worker. As a present they gave each guest a box of three chocolates- expensive chocolates. My stepdad was jelious that we went to the wedding and has been complaining, and to tell you the truth he and my step sister that is all they do! :evil: But my mom gave him one of her chocolates. Then I just a few minutes ago I went upstairs to enjoy them- and my mom said I "SHOULD share one with my SD. That that would be the SOCIALLY EXCEPTABLE thing to do" It made me feel so guilty that I had to give him one or I would look bad. I don't know why I feel so upset about it but I do :evil: When they pull out my disability card it just makes me want to SCream!! !! ! Does anyone else parents pull this crap?



Remnant
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03 Jun 2007, 1:31 pm

Mine did and I live with another parent who does that to her daughter.



gwenevyn
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03 Jun 2007, 1:53 pm

Just so you know, the socially acceptable thing to do is NOT to drool over somebody else's candy and act like you want it. :D

But it is a nice idea to share willingly, too.

If you don't mind saying, which upset you most? The fact that you had to share your candy or the fact that you felt your mother was being disrespectful?



Esperanza
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03 Jun 2007, 4:13 pm

OMG that would make me so mad. It had nothing to do with you not knowing what was the "socially acceptable thing to do". Your stepdad was just being an ass and you had absolutely no obligation- social or moral- to share your chocolates with him. I think you should have a talk with your Mom about "pulling out your disability card" like that. That's just stupid and disrespectful and high-and-mighty of her. You have AS, you're not ret*d. I don't think I would be able to handle living with someone who treated me like that. I don't think I could handle living with someone who thought of me that way.

You have my sincerest sympathies. *hugs*



Macbeth
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03 Jun 2007, 8:39 pm

Of course this now means that at any point when any member of your family has something like chocolates, you can remind them that sharing them is the socially acceptable thing to do. Feel free to do it with just about everything that they might possibly be able to share with you.

Just an observation but.. your stepfather was jealous of you attending a wedding. What is he? Five years old? Dunno about socially acceptable.. sounds like some people need a dose of maturity rammed into them. I can't abide adults who act like stroppy teens.


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03 Jun 2007, 8:51 pm

The stepdad sounds like a goofball. Who the heck gets jealous about someone else going to a wedding? Most people that get invited to a wedding try to find a way out of it. Most guys find it boring. So if he's jealous it makes it look like he has AS and is jealous because he doesn't get asked to go anywhere maybe?

As far as the chocolates go its being courteous if you want to share. Could this exchange of words happened because you tried to eat the chocolates in the same room in front of them? If you only have a little of some special food you should hide in your room and eat it. You're not suppose to eat or drink in front of someone else without offering them something. Even still they shouldn't pull the disability card thing on you. How old are you? Soon as you turn adult you should move away from them!



cecilfienkelstien
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05 Jun 2007, 11:17 am

gwenevyn wrote:

If you don't mind saying, which upset you most? The fact that you had to share your candy or the fact that you felt your mother was being disrespectful?

the fact that they were being so disrespectful!! I really don't mind being nice and cooperative. It is just that I felt like they were making fun of me or direspecting the real problems that I have.
I have calmed down now. But thinking about it now is getting me to feel all weird inside :? Thatks all for the support though :)



cecilfienkelstien
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05 Jun 2007, 11:19 am

Esperanza wrote:
OMG that would make me so mad. It had nothing to do with you not knowing what was the "socially acceptable thing to do". Your stepdad was just being an ass and you had absolutely no obligation- social or moral- to share your chocolates with him. I think you should have a talk with your Mom about "pulling out your disability card" like that. That's just stupid and disrespectful and high-and-mighty of her. You have AS, you're not ret*d. I don't think I would be able to handle living with someone who treated me like that. I don't think I could handle living with someone who thought of me that way.

You have my sincerest sympathies. *hugs*

Thanks soooo much! :D I would hug you back but higging my computer screen would be very uncomfurtable because of all the static :lol:



cecilfienkelstien
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05 Jun 2007, 11:25 am

Ticker, I'm 23. I was eating them in the kichen aand they were sitting watching tv. As for him being AS I think he is just a irishman and an extreme male. They annoying this is all he has been doing the last month or so has beem complaining and degrading everything. Quite frankley I feel like going out on strike! He makes me feel like I can't do anything and that I am lazy. He dosn't seem to relize that I work so hard just to get my self out the door in the morning. I also need a longer recuperation time when I feel stressed, which seems to be more often than not.



cecilfienkelstien
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05 Jun 2007, 11:26 am

Ticker, I'm 23. I was eating them in the kichen aand they were sitting watching tv. As for him being AS I think he is just a irishman and an extreme male. They annoying this is all he has been doing the last month or so has beem complaining and degrading everything. Quite frankley I feel like going out on strike! He makes me feel like I can't do anything and that I am lazy. He dosn't seem to relize that I work so hard just to get my self out the door in the morning. I also need a longer recuperation time when I feel stressed, which seems to be more often than not.



cecilfienkelstien
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05 Jun 2007, 11:27 am

Ticker, I'm 23. I was eating them in the kichen aand they were sitting watching tv. As for him being AS I think he is just a irishman and an extreme male. They annoying this is all he has been doing the last month or so has beem complaining and degrading everything. Quite frankley I feel like going out on strike! He makes me feel like I can't do anything and that I am lazy. He dosn't seem to relize that I work so hard just to get my self out the door in the morning. I also need a longer recuperation time when I feel stressed, which seems to be more often than not.



cecilfienkelstien
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05 Jun 2007, 11:28 am

Ticker, I'm 23. I was eating them in the kichen aand they were sitting watching tv. As for him being AS I think he is just a irishman and an extreme male. They annoying this is all he has been doing the last month or so has beem complaining and degrading everything. Quite frankley I feel like going out on strike! He makes me feel like I can't do anything and that I am lazy. He dosn't seem to relize that I work so hard just to get my self out the door in the morning. I also need a longer recuperation time when I feel stressed, which seems to be more often than not.



cecilfienkelstien
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05 Jun 2007, 11:29 am

Ticker, I'm 23. I was eating them in the kichen aand they were sitting watching tv. As for him being AS I think he is just a irishman and an extreme male. They annoying this is all he has been doing the last month or so has beem complaining and degrading everything. Quite frankley I feel like going out on strike! He makes me feel like I can't do anything and that I am lazy. He dosn't seem to relize that I work so hard just to get my self out the door in the morning. I also need a longer recuperation time when I feel stressed, which seems to be more often than not.



Tequila
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05 Jun 2007, 12:10 pm

The bloke is an eejit. If you were eating them in the same room then it would be polite to offer some. But otherwise? They're your chocolates, not his.



richardbenson
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05 Jun 2007, 1:43 pm

thats a typical stepdad move right thurr. all stepdads are trouble, you need to get away from them. if you can, my life drastically impoved since my ret*d mother divorced



kitsunetsuki
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05 Jun 2007, 4:07 pm

I think it was a bit rude of him to act as though he should get some , although sharing willingly can be a nice thing. one time someone told me about sharing is this, you always tell your young children they must share even if its their favourite toy but you would never ask you neighbour to share his new sports car with his friends that come over, so you should think about that before you ask them to . of course there are many reasons to share and whether one does or not has little to do with Asperger's and that shouldn't be brought into it especially by a parent. also as the wedding was something you attended then the idea of the gift would be that it's something for you to enjoy as a thank you for attending. Also he sounds just as though he is a unpleasant person , it's unfotunate you have to live with him.