What are the main differences between female/ male autism?

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I see these two terms come up now and again, and discussions on it. Also, I've seen people whom are female who say that they fall under the more stereotypical male autistic traits, less so vice versa. What would you say the main differences are?

The two main ones I've heard of are masking of lack of social skills and special interests.

Females tend to be better at observing and copying others than males in social situations, which can lead to the lack of instinctual social skills being masked. Females would find it just as exhausting as males to deal with social situations, but it might be less obvious because they might do a better job of "faking it".

Regarding special interests, special interests can be anything, but most of the stereotypical ones tend to be more associated with male interests. If a kid is unusually interested in trains, people tend to immediately think Autism. If a kid is unusually interested in unicorns and fairies, people don't tend to think Autism.

I'm sure there are others, but the two of these, in themselves, would already make it more difficult to figure out that a female needs to be assessed for ASD than a male.

I assume most women who want kids are neurotypical and guys who want kids are definitely neurotypical. Once you break it down to non-breeders, autism comes into play. If I see a woman on Bumble with 3 degrees and no kids, I swipe right, definitely autism. Then I go to the tattoo girls and look for no visible tattoos, more autism.

Bad assumptions. There are many married with children autistic women here. I have seen a number of youtube videos by Autistic women with tatoos.

I guess I'm proof that that's an incorrect assumption.

I've pretty much accepted that, given where I am in life right now, I'm not going to be having kids. I'd also probably make a pretty lousy dad given my lack of social skills, and I probably couldn't handle the stress of constant parenting, but none of that means that I wouldn't like, at least in theory, to have kids.

I do care a ton about my niece and nephew, and they absolutely adore me and get very excited when they hear that I am going to be visiting.

I find it much easier to get along with kids than grown-ups, probably because they would prefer to do things that are easier for me like playing games rather than things that are harder for me like small-talk. I'm still faking it the whole time with them (perhaps even more than with grown-ups), but it's a much easier kind of faking it.

Three degrees and no kids is spot on, correct?

Um, OK? Not sure what this has to do with the original question. Typically people are drawn to others that are similar to themselves, despite the common saying of "Opposites attract".

People don't desire clone-like versions of themselves, this lowers the possibility of incest, but rather someone whom is similar to them but not too similar.

So I suppose it makes sense that more neurotypical individuals are drawn to other neurotypical individuals, and the majority of the populous would typically be considered neurotypical, hence the "typical" at the end. However, sometimes people who are NT end up pairing with someone whom is ND.

Although it should be noted that some individuals who think they are NT actually aren't and are just never diagnosed, and they might pair with someone that is ND so appearances can be deceiving.

There is also the broad autism phenotype, and other such occurrences, where someone who doesn't have a condition could still pass it on/ increase the likelihood of a child with a certain condition, even though they themselves don't have it.

Genetics is interesting because it doesn't just factor the two parents, but rather their entire family trees. Certain traits can skip generations, and pop up unexpectedly. Some conditions can increase the likelihood of others (For instance, dyslexia often occurs in families with ADHD members, and OCD tends to pop up when families have someone with autism).



I have noted some discussion on whether asexuality is more common among autistic individuals or not, and some ND people just don't have kids for other personal or medical (such as infertility which can occur both in NT and ND groups) reasons.



So, following that logic, all well-educated women without kids have autism? This may be true for some women that fit that criteria, but I highly doubt it's the case that all do.



Bit of a leap in logic there. Just because someone doesn't have any visible tattoos, it doesn't mean that they're automatically autistic. I fail to see how you'd even reach this conclusion. Pain sensitivity, perhaps? Even so not all people on the spectrum are oversensitive to pain, some are even under-sensitive.

I'm ready for another overeducated woman who doesn't want kids. That's who I'm most compatible with.

Well, we all have our preferences, so I wish you the best of luck with that.

However...on your other thread where you talked about gay guys checking you out you mentioned that you "wished that coming out was one of the harder things" in your life.

I know it's not my place to nosy but, this suggests that you are either gay or bi, since it implies that at some point you came out of the closet. Now, if you are bi then that's fine, I wish you the best of luck finding a well-educated woman who doesn't want kids, but if you're gay...then I'm concerned for your mental wellbeing.

Trying to force yourself into a heterosexual relationship when you're not interested in the opposite sex usually backfires, and often leads to mental health issues as you fall deeper and deeper into a sense of shame. It might also explain the "I'm looking for a woman who doesn't want kids" part, as you may desire a non-sexual lavender marriage / a marriage of convenience.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lavender_marriage

No, I'm homophobic, not a homosexual. You misinterpreted whatever you read. I'm down with the females.

I have read a lot about the difference, but have to admit that I myself don't totally fit in the female-type of autism. I agree that female autistics are better at hiding their difficulties in social situations. Their anxiety is often mistaken for shyness. Females are less likely to be hyperactive or aggressive. Also, their interests can be mainstream ones that many girls have, but the autistic girls tend to go "extreme". Their focus, like many of us on the spectrum, is very narrow.
The link below has some interesting information.

https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/sites ... 170401.pdf

By the way, I happen to have three degrees and no interest in children, plus already had a hysterectomy. However, I should not be considered fitting a sterotypical image. Autism spectrum is called a "spectrum" because there is no one particular set of symptoms to describe the condition. Everyone is unique, but yes, they may share some similarities and difficulties.
Some women on the spectrum like to have children and they are happy having families. Some want to have families, but they have difficulties adjusting. I have friends who are like that and they have told me "Family is my special interest". Some friends on the spectrum and I are the opposite. We have never been interested in romance or family life. We are all different. Please don't try to put us in a box.

What are your cats' names?

This is to show how, as you say, you are "down with the females"? Clever.

No, it's pure prejudice actually, and I want to point out that it is wrong to assume that just because a woman is well educated she's autistic. Some women are not interested in children, this doesn't make them autistic, but often provides them more opportunity to focus on their career. Hence they end up with a better education.

I can easily think of 3 women I know who don't want children, none of whom are autistic. They do not want children for a variety of reasons- bad family experience, not wanting to pass on poor genetics, a belief that overpopulation is a real problem, or simply that they are not interrested. Part of the prejudice that women have been subjected to is the view that we all should want children, and if we don't, then we are somehow "broken".

I do not think that you are being malicious by saying this, but it is still a very mistaken belief to have. Perhaps it is due to a lack of theory of mind- if you don't want kids then you think all autistic people don't want kids, but it is not that simple. I am autistic and I have always wanted children, I was lucky to find a partner who understood me and now my daughter has become the best special interest ever.

Anyway, back to the original topic...
Yes the fact that female symptoms are more difficult to spot is true- we fake it better, and our interests may be considered more socially acceptable.
Another difference is that we tend to respond to the challenges differently. Often autistic boys blame others when they get misundderstood and things go wrong, and tend to become more arrogant or act more aggressively; whereas autistic girls tend to blame themselves for their shortcomings and become more shy and withdrawn, they also have a tendancy to withdraw more into their imagination.

It could mean the particular women values work more than children, or it could mean she is very introverted, or it could mean she has poor social skills because she is living in an academic bubble, or could mean she is too broke to have kids because she has huge debts to pay off and her degrees were incompatible with what employers want.

In fairness, your statement could've meant a few things. Either "I'm gay/bi and have come out, but have others struggles in my life that make coming out seem like nothing to me" or "I have had/have a hard life and the idea of coming out does not seem difficult to me".

Also, you've been speaking to a gay person this entire time so...boo! Or is it only gay men you dislike?

People can be homophobic for a multitude of reasons, and I'm partly curious as to why you consider yourself to be.

Most homophobes I've met have usually started by trying to cover it as a "I'm not homophobic but...*insert degrading comment here*", yet you are the type to openly identify as homophobic.

Tell me, have you ever heard of Exodus? It was one of the biggest chains of gay-straight conversion camps. The man who ran it ended up retiring, came out as gay, and admitted that conversion therapy was a sham and didn't work, then later issued an apology to those he tried to change.

It's not exactly unheard of for people with an anti-gay stance to later come out as gay. Those who shout the loudest...often have the most to hide.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... dClosetGay

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... exualToday



But there are other reasons why a person might be homophobic, such as having certain moral beliefs, or it may even be for more than one reason and they could tie together.