A false conviction?

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I wonder how many of us convince ourselves quite wrongly that we are ,or might be, on the spectrum , or something similar like nvld .
Perhaps it's just a delusional obsession on my part . Perhaps I'm just socially dysfunctional and that's all there is to it. Perhaps the desire to belong warps my judgement.

I hear you. For people over a certain age, we grew up thinking it was our own fault, for failing to socialize and function as well as the other kids did. That leaves an imprint on our psyche, that there's no excuse for us, we're just inferior.

Of course it's more desirable to believe there's an explanation for our problems. Of course we want to experience a sense of belonging - anywhere at all - that we've never felt in our lives. Of course we seek out professional advice, hoping to get some answers as to why we've always struggled.

There are those who see this behavior as proof that we're 'faking' autism. That we don't deserve to understand the reason for our struggles, the way they do. We're just stupid and pathetic and awkward and inferior, and it's our own fault. Worse, we're seeking attention and trying to be special - because there's this ludicrous notion that we think 'official' autistic people are treated with so much more respect than someone who's just perceived as shy, weird, and dysfunctional. (Not true, speaking from my own experience!)

My diagnosis has only caused real-life acquaintances to feel uncomfortable around me (because now I'm a certified psycho, rather than just shy) - and has caused other autistics online (my only peer group) to think I'm a particularly annoying brand of special snowflake, so very very special that I had to get a piece of paper proving it. In reality, there is zero advantage to faking autism, and I tend to doubt that anyone would do that.

It's been hard to come to terms with all this, and sort through what actually matters. And what matters to me is understanding my issues, in dealing with real-life challenges. Whether random strangers on the internet believe me or not, is of less concern to me. And if my presence can help someone else in my position to feel less excluded and alone, then it's worth being here, and speaking honestly about it.

(Sorry for the double post, but I'm not done here!)

Something I just realized is the difference in my own reaction to other people's perception of me.

Real-life acquaintances: Ashariel, you're weird and awkward, not a cool person at all.
Me: Huh. Okay then. (I honestly don't care that I have no friends)

Internet autistics: Ashariel, you're an attention-seeking liar.
Me: (Intense hurt and anger, because it's not true, and I'm being unfairly accused)

If somebody wants to 'push my buttons', that's how to do it. But I'm learning how to not let it get to me so much.

"Attention seeker" "faker", "excuse maker", "self deluded" is triggering for a lot of us older autistics because for years before most people knew that autism was anything but profoundly disabling and meant low intelligence that is what people called us and that is what we thought of ourselves because there was no evidence to suggest otherwise. Statements that autism is over diagnosed or the disease of the month is often interpreted as people implying that we are those negative things listed above even if it was not meant that way.

No topic about autism should be off limits on this board. With the popularity of "The Good Doctor", "Atypical", "The A Word", "The Accountant" etc. it is inevitable that the issues of fakers and self-delusion of a "trendy" syndrome will come up. WP was in a very angry place over these issues in 2014 and again in the first part of 2016. This thread and the revived faking autism thread have been handled with respect so far but has a high potential to tear us apart again so "handle with care".

IMHO ASD is over diagnosed in infants and toddlers because of the near universal "expert" belief that earlier the intervention (usually meaning ABA) the better. I believe ASD is still under diagnosed in older adults and particularly women because of lack of understanding both by clinicians and this population in general. A wrong diagnosis self or otherwise mostly hurts the person wrongly diagnosed. While less then optimal an incorrect autism diagnosis is often a net positive because Autism and the traits of autism and other conditions often overlap.

Hypochondriacs believe that they have diseases that they do not have

Denial- having the condition and not believing it

Sometimes psychologists give misdiagnoses

I've told over half a dozen people I have Aspergers in real life and they all agreed! Does this make me an outlier? On the Wrong Planet?

^ No, I think I'm the outlier here. (Which of these things doesn't belong? Ashariel! Haha)

Sorry for being confused about all this - I'm going to take a break for a while.

Happy Holidays everyone

I would just like to stress that (1) My comment was a general comment and not directed at any specific individuals (2) There is a difference between being mistaken in thinking one is on the spectrum vs the deliberate intention to 'fake' that one is on the spectrum.

I have no intention to fake anything. I am as I am. Whether my interpretation of how I am as I am is a faulty one is another matter.

I also guess a lot of my original post stems from a degree of uncertainty re belonging in a group of people ,whether it be people on the spectrum or ,for example, a political grouping.
There is always this nagging thought in the background "Am I an interloper?" "Not really one of them"

As for me, I've thought I'm autistic for a few years, though there were signs earlier in my life and I was in denial. I decided to observe myself for a few months to a year and see if I really am autistic. And I want to go see a therapist and get diagnosed (I'm diagnosed as schizophrenic but I know they are wrong and I am right). But anyways, observe yourself. I've been finding that I probably am somewhere on the spectrum but idk.