Anger Vs NT's

Post Reply New Topic

[my name comes from anger over C having dangerous functions; specifically gets, puts]

When I get angry I let it out, raise my voice, shout, swear.
Rarely is it directed at another person, if it is then I tend to only raise my voice and call out their poor actions.
Sometimes it's directed at an unknown or distant person (driver, politician).
This can only last a minute, then I'm back to normal, just let my anger out in a healthy fashion - not bottle it up.
If I ever have a physical need to release some anger, I chop down a noxious tree or weed.

However I feel this FREEKS NT's out!

I get the feeling that they don't release their anger in this way.
They bottle it up, then do backstabbing things, or nasty gossip or take it home and b***h to their friends/partners.

What do you think?
Any NT's care to give some insight?

[I've done tons of programming in C over the years and the trade-off is that, yes it allows unsafe pointer usage and string functions, but it is very real-time efficient. Languages like C++ and Java are safer but less efficient at execution time...]

I'm autistic and I don't tend to let my anger out spontaneously - it takes a deliberate decision and some effort to overcome my learned inhibition. It's how I got raised as a kid. Your strategy of pointing out the actions of another person that bother you is pretty effective, otherwise that person could end up confused. Whether your outburst (raised voice, shouting, swearing) is directed at a person close-by or someone distant, what likely freaks out people around you is that they have their own emotional reaction to your expression and they also may not understand what you're wanting. This probably happens to autistic people present as much as it does with NTs. For instance if your anger is directed at a driver or politician the other person present might initially have to deal with their own possibly shocked reaction and then not know if you want them to say something soothing to you, or join in by emoting anger along with you, or to make factual observations about the poor behavior of the driver or politician, or ask you questions about how the poor behavior is affecting you, or etc. If you're autistic like I am you might not be signalling your mood prior to the outburst so it could take them by surprise and they may need some moments to compose themselves. And much of the freak-out could come from worry about not wanting to inflame you more by responding in a way you don't want - like saying something soothing when you want them to confirm your observation of the driver or politician's offensive behavior - that could set an angry person right off their nut, lol. Or by joining in and emoting outrage along with you when you really want to let it out and calm down and be soothed... When I get overwhelmed and start cussing at something, if there's another person present I try to connect with them, mostly so they know I'm not mad at them and so they know what I want from them... Doesn't always work for me because I suppress my reactions so thoroughly it tends to take people by surprise. Letting it out like you do is healthier.

NTs do this too, depending on their profession. Often extensively, with themes and variations

I had one or two colleagues in legal-type work because some of my database work was forensic-type research. I've been told (and believe) that there is nothing like the scatological concerto you get when committed legal types with serious jobs and deadlines to meet face any level of upgrade.

I must remember that phrase!
I was famed for my Jeckyl and Hyde routine in my last job...

[Scowling into computer screen] "You ****ing, ****, piece of ****, if I meant you to *****ing *****, I would have ***** ....."

[Colleague taps on shoulder to ask if I want a coffee] "Oh, that would be lovely. How kind of you, thank you very much."

[Turns back to computer] "You ****ing, ****, piece of ****, if I meant you to *****ing *****, I would have ***** ....."

My irate narration (iration?) can be sustained for hours, and I never spot the moment when it switches from thinking it to saying it out loud. I remember once reading a sci-fi short story about a world where this was the very purpose of computers and robots - they were deliberately programmed to provide exactly the correct amount of frustration to allow people to vent their negative emotions. I guess that would make Windows updates a humanitarian act of kindness!

Last edited by Trogluddite on 12 Jan 2018, 10:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sooooo truuuuue!

Same. When I'm really angry, I have full-blown meltdowns complete with yelling, crying, and hitting myself. I don't insult or hurt anyone, though. I find that people (NT or not) tend to be scared or freaked out by these outbursts. They also sometimes get mad at me for them and see it as a "behaviour" rather than a reaction to stress.

Forgot to mention I was a fair virtuoso at scat singing myself... thank god most of my meltdownish stuff took that form and was drowned out in the larger chorus. (Of responses to the same cyber-provocation, generally.)

(I taught several of my colleagues proper Laptop CPR: keep hitting the CR* key while saying:
stupid ****ing Piece of ****!
stupid ****ing Piece of ****!)

@trogluddite, that sounds like something from Cordwainer Smith, almost. (?) It's a bit drier than Sir Terry would be.

*edit in

Further edit: here's why we do it. There are some good scholarly publications, this is a shortcut. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypoalges ... f_swearing

I think it's safe to say that NTs don't experience emotions and especially anger as intensely as ASDs do. They may scream and yell and swear but inside I'm sure they don't have the same fire raging that we do. They simply don't have their sensitivity meters cranked up as high as us so they can't experience the same intensity.

Don't forget, some of these NTs think that Autism is cool or something so I'm sure they're simply copycatting in order to garner the same sympathy.

If only they knew, they would never wish for something like Autism.

As for gets/puts - there are work arounds.

When hassled by people, I rarely get worked up - I've a very long fuse. Only when someone harasses me insessantly do I snap. I keep well away from antagonistic people - hell I stay away from people in general!

Often I work up to an outburst but it can be an intense outburst (rant) going on for a minute or so.
NT's can have angry outbursts too, I just find a large portion of them repress it for fear of looking crazy or social shame or something. Many times they will release their anger as a group thing - mob anger, once one or two get going the others jump on the bandwagon and really go for it. That strategy gives them cover and a way out of accepting full responsibility.
There are people that have emotional outbursts - that's different eg cheating parter exposed etc
And some have anger issue - perhaps not NT, might suffer other mental conditions or just a personal anger issue, or very passionate personality eg Italian

I'm not sure if somewhere along the line I learned it was good to be a calm person. There is probably a genetic component, my family are fairly calm people.

The standard library functions are linked to; it's not like they are part of the C language.