i want to be someone else

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I mean i know im gifted and i wouldnt give my artistic abilities for anything, but i just feel can artistic expression be the worth of ones sanity and well being..........

signs of a tourtured artist im sure....venting yeah sure...

so tired right now.....and its only Monday...im so glad im an Aspie, but right now i just want it to go away.....

Then who would you be?

ive spent so long trying to play the role for eveyone else i dont really know who i am now...

i think i would be someone at peace...i know im just being negative right now and it will pass....i just hate when it feels like the world is coming down around me as i patiently watch things crumble before my eyes....and then it never fails that i seem to find inspiration in the ashes;

i guess im just tired of feeling so alone....such a cliche right, alone in a room full of people.....but thats what ive been groomed to feel my entire life....like an outcast for being myself...critized for my individuallity, chastized for my insecurities, and punished for my lack of NT ability.....i think i just need to get away from the city this weekend and not be around anyone, because i am starting to feel as if i am in high school again and that was not a happy place for me at all...

I don't. i want some other people to be someone else though.

Now that could be an interesting thing....

I'd like to be Lucifer.

Didn't have the strength to pull off
his little game properly. Though he
was a noble failure.

just one of my many vasades, yet my halo always seems to level me off when needed

I try
and before I die
I'd like to fly
even if it is fallin’
‘cause I was born fallen

Not another really another person, but I often wonder what it'd be like to be a girl.

I wonder what it would be like if you woke up one day and you were completely NT.

Would you really want to go back to being an aspie? Or would it be like owning a microwave of computer: once you've lived with one, you can't imagine living without one. It's suddenly a necessity. Would you suddenly "get" a million things you didn't get before? Would it be like having your first breath of fresh air when all you've ever had was smog?

Or would it be confusing and uncomfortable? Would you miss your original perspective and feel like you had suddenly gone blind?

Would you feel that your eyes had been opened, or closed?

now, just stop for a moment and see (besides the poetry of it!) what a wonderful thing THIS is!

to find the inspiration in the ashes is the greatest strength you have!


Merle

thank you, ive never thought of it like that before...

Interesting! You made me think.

I know exactly how you feel. Monday was just the same for me. I spent most of the day just wishing I could be NT so I could just live "normally" without always having to fight through the barriers of AS, and putting up the front.

At the end of the day though, we are who we are and I can't see any way around it. I'd be petrified of "the cure" if there was one, basically because I would be scared that I wouldn't be me anymore.

I'm glad I'm me with all my quirks, but I so understand the periodic wish just to make them go away.

Hope you feel less tired soon.

I just want to be me, I am a unique person alright I have some aspie traits. But who cares but then somedays I don't want them, but really I am the person I am