I'm 20 years old and may have aspergers. What do you think?

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I wrote my whole life story before but accidentally exited out of the page so sorry if this is sloppy.

I used to think I just had social anxiety but have recently noticed some of my behaviour may be due to me having aspergers. I pace a lot, like everyday sometimes up to 20 minutes before someone stops me. It could either be back and forth or in a circle. Sometimes I tap my leg with two fingers, make odd facial expressions and in rare occasions rock back and forth when very upset or anxious. I also do a weird arm movement with my left arm when I feel awkward or uncomfortable.

I hate bright lights. I never leave my bedroom light on, I only use a dim lamp or use the hallway light as a dim light source for my room. If anyone in my house opens the blinds I wait until they leave before I close them again. I sometimes think I hear things louder than other people. If I'm trying to sleep I need to tell my family to turn down their tv's even if it's already reasonably low because I can hear the little noises. I only like it if they are watching something I'm familiar with as I sometimes find it comforting.

I tend to watch the same show most nights before going to bed. I prefer to eat the same food most days and hate when my surroundings are changed. I moved to a new house a few months ago and was depressed for a whole month. When I left to see my dad for the Holidays my mom decided to move my bed and I was sad every night for a week and had trouble sleeping because I felt scared and unsafe.

I triple and sometimes quadruple check the stove/oven and doors every night. Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night to check them one last time just to be sure. I'll look them over a few times each time because I feel like my eyes cannot be trusted.

I hate making eye contact. I usually only leave the house to buy food so most of my interactions are with cashiers. I can't for the life of me look at them for more than 2 seconds. They see me all the time and try to make conversation but I keep looking everywhere but their face lol. I'm sure it weirds them out a little.

I have no common sense or social awareness. I embarrass myself every time I leave my house. There are a few situations throughout my life that pop out to me.

When I was about 8 or 9 years old I played basketball and a couple of guys were practicing on the other side of the court while our team was practicing on our side. Their ball rolled over on to our side and I for some reason didn't think to throw it back to them. My teammates looked at me like I was a moron wondering why I wasn't throwing the ball back but I still didn't do it. I can't quite remember wtf I was thinking but my teammate got the ball and threw it back while looking at me like I was a nutcase lol.

In high school I was catching up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while and she was with her boyfriend. We had an awkward 2 minute conversation and I guess she was done talking with me but I didn't sense it at the time. I stood there unaware that she was done. She started kissing her boyfriend and I continued to stand there like a moron being really grossed out by the kissing but I didn't want to be rude so I stayed trying to continue the conversation. She started making out with her boyfriend again probably in hopes for me to get the message but I didnt. She just ended up getting up from her spot and leaving herself.

Another basketball situation. We were at a tournament with a bunch of other teams and I was about 12-14 at the time. I really needed to pee so I rushed to the washroom and saw what looked like a line but also could have been a bunch of girls talking because it was super unorganized. I made the very wrong assumption that it wasn't a line and went to the stalls and opened the door only to see a mortified poor girl staring at me on the toilet. A normal person would have just asked if there was a line but no, not me.

Two more recent situations was when I went to my first doctors appointment and didn't know what to do with my prescription. I asked the lady of the front desk if I should give her the prescription and she looked at me like I was the most pathetic thing she had ever seen and directed me towards the pharmacy. I recently had to pay the rent for my mom and was terrified. When the receipt printed out I tried to grab it myself and the landlord laughed and said I was cute lol she probably thought I was much younger than I really am. She began to cut it and I awkwardly left the room before being called back in the get my copy of the receipt like an idiot.

I could go on forever about all the weird cringe s**t I've done but I'd be here all day. I can't help it. I have zero social awareness or common sense. I can't just make assumptions about things because I'm so socially inept. Even when I'm given instructions they need to be exact instructions, step by step because I can't fill in blanks. If you ask me to do something and you leave a bit out because it's "obvious" I probably won't do that bit you left out because it's not obvious to me.

The only conclusion that I could come to was maybe I have aspergers. It's something that I have briefly thought about before but I always assumed you had to be incredibly intelligent if you had aspergers and I'm an absolute moron so I dismissed it. Maybe I shouldn't have dismissed it so quickly. What do you guys think?

As someone who had to self-diagnose late in life (38).
I'm not surprised.
You do seem to have it.
I often double check some things three times in a row. Though my ocd is quite low, I have more of a security paranoia.

Look over the forums for posts with these types of subject titles:
"Is this aspergers trait"
"list of Aspergers traits"

My Aspergers is very mild (part of the reason I was able to fly under the radar - even my own).
Even I didn't think it's what I had, until I read some of these posts, and many little traits suddenly began to pop up from my past. Sadly people don't give honest constructive feedback, and I was simply labelled as "weird". I always felt I was eccentric, but not neccessarily more that other people - only that I was more honest about my eccentricities that everyone else - and therein is the massive difference. My own family knew I was severely different, but didn't care enough to get me checked out by a psychologist or anything. So I struggled in this world for most of my life.

Many things that you described seem to fit with my experiences ( I am 19 and also curious if I have it)
When I think, I often jump up and go around in my room, because I have the feeling I can think better. Also I like to look in the mirror while doing it ( sometimes up to an hour without recognizing the time ;D )

I am literally unable to sleep if there is any light. ( I once stayed at a friend's house over night and couldn't sleep)
But sound is perfectly fine and I really enjoy it when it is raining and storming
I like rain and nebulous weather, it simply feels fresh and soft at the skin if you know what I mean

People often said I would stare but now I figured out the perfect amount of eye contact, but I don't really look into other people's eyes but rather their nose between their eyes, maybe you should try this to

There also have been many awkward social situations that I only understood years later.
Many I did not understand ever and am not sure if I ever will.

Welcome to wrong planet

You do not have to be super intelligent to have Aspergers. The criteria are average to above average intelligence. Your post demonstrates you are far from a moron.

We can not diagnose you but like the others posters, I can say you are writing about core Aspergers traits such as social misunderstandings, repetitive behaviors, problems with eye contact and sensory sensitivities.

Are these issues impairing your life in a significant way?
What do you want to do about your suspicions?

I agree...you are describing the signs associated with ASD. It might be a good idea to talk to a mental health practitioner, and possibly go in for a neuropsycological evaluation.

From the description you've given, it seems very likely.

You can try the AQ (Autism Quotient) test here if you want to get an idea of the likelihood:
https://psychology-tools.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/

If you score 26-31 on this test, it's a borderline result, and 32+, there's a strong likelihood that you have ASD. Frankly, based on what you said, I already know you're going to score very high.

Note that this test isn't a diagnosis; it just checks whether you have traits typically associated with ASD/Asperger's. It's entirely possible to have these traits and not have ASD, and it's also possible to not have these traits but still have ASD. Only a psychologist can give a true diagnosis.

Oh boy, you made me remember a lot of the issues I had at your age.
If it helps, things do get better, with time and experience.
It's best not to consider those sort of mis-steps as failures but just treat them as learning opportunities.
Our brains have a little plasticity, even in adulthood, so social skills and work-arounds do start to sink in with practice.

Well CallieHei welcome to Wrong Planet.

Reading your dissertation does give many intriguing aspects about your life and you do seem to have traits that we Asperger's Syndrome people have. As one who is an Aspie himself I would say the chances are high.

Though I am 42 now and was only diagnosed a few months ago and I am still learning about this entire Autistic world and I still have many questions about it. The best thing you can do is to schedule yourself for an assessment by registered psychologist and find out for absolute certain.

There is a man who is considered by many to be the foremost expert on Asperger's Syndrome and his name is Tony Attwood and he's an Australian clinical therapist who has written several books on Asperger's Syndrome. I bought one of his books already and he has a very intimate knowledge of this neurological condition. Seek him out via Amazon.com and his books and educate yourself as much as you can while you wait for an official psychological assessment.

Good luck!

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*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***

ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.

Keep calm and stim away.