Communication

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To me, communication is literal and verbal only. I say what I mean and mean what I say. Period. No hidden meaning. It took me a long time to figure out that NTs dont function this way, and that body language and facial expressions are in many cases more important to them then the literal meaning of what you say. This is annoying to me, because according to them my body language and facial expressions are transparent as day, and they go by that and not the precise meaning of what I have said.

I *HATE* this, to be quite frank. Are NTs possessed of a brain that simply cant take words at their literal face value meaning? Is it lack of ability to do this, as in a genetic/brain structure lack of ability? I'm just sick of being misunderstood because of my frowns and body posture. I say what I mean, why isnt this enough?

We do the exact opposite of you. Being too literal with words can be quite rude. Facial expressions and gestures are a nonverbal way for us to be "literal" without being rude.

Except that facial expressions can be mistaken for being rude even when it is unintended, one time I tried to appear friendly and approachable, but apparently my face came across as aggressive and hostile, the people I was trying to put at ease starting asking if I wanted a fight, but thankfully my friends explained that I had no ill intent.

Shame that there's no way to see what your face looks like when you are talking to others.

I think sometimes if you try too hard at it, then it tends to backfire. For instance, I used to put effort into sounding enthusiastic, but that just came across as sarcastic.

There's something bad about both ways. One way I use it, though, is to show how pissed off I am without having to say a word. One thing with me is that I can't cover up what I'm thinking because my face always gives me away. It disturbs me when some people can control their expressions while lying to your face. I don't know how they are able to do that.

What irritates me is if somebody seems mad at me, and I really don't know why.

I would ask somebody why she is mad at me---and she would say something along the lines of "don't you know?" or "figure it out for yourself," or just turn away from me in a huff.

I don't get this stuff.

Yeah, my face always gives me away too. I've been told that I have a very expressive face. Although sometimes it seems to express something that I wasn't feeling (or perhaps people are just misreading signals and I do appear how I feel) which can lead to events such as the one above.



I have been on both sides of that situation. A friend of mine in Secondary used to say this to me a lot, we had quite a few disagreements.

But I can understand their frustration at me, since a current friend of mine is usually oblivious to when he's crossed the line.

At first, I get annoyed, but then I realise that he doesn't know what he's done so I take a break, collect myself, and think of how I'm going to explain to them what they did wrong.

Usually when I take the time to explain it they understand and apologise, but it is tempting at times to just vent frustration at them.

He has a habit of bombarding me with questions which can be overwhelming and when I answer one out of many, he moves on to another question that wasn't a part of the original set of questions, so I have to back peddle and go "wait, what about the other questions?" but by then he's forgotten about those, and so I have to try and remember what they were, or just let them go but if I let them go then it's going to bug me all day that I left questions unanswered even though it doesn't even matter.

Dammit brain.

Because most of the time an NT does know and they are trying to play dumb like they didn't know they were being an ass. Of course, this is the opposite with Aspies. That's why it always helps to know if one is an Aspie.

I honestly don't see any difference in being non literal with words and lying. As in none. Seriously.

You can be direct—but you can be diplomatic in your directness.

I really like your posts, Nurse Angela. You are a very sensitive person.