What is the loneliest you've ever felt?

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wrongcitizen
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17 Jan 2018, 1:54 am

I almost always feel really lonely cause I can't connect with people in a verbal or social sense. I always feel like I'm on an island somewhere, like I'm the sentinalese tribe but if it only had one member. Sorry Sentinalese, you are weird to the rest of us. But anyways, I never really know how to cope with the empty feeling. I also get even more stressed when I really am in a public place. My life has turned more into little semi-realistic fantasies than a single reality. I'm oftentimes different in almost every aspect. In fact, the world itself is different in many of these fantasies. It's more tailored to make sense.

I feel like everyone is literally a fake Sociopath or even less than that, just a basic little machine programmed to have responses to things I say, wearing a social mask and then I think I'm the only real human. The pain isolation brings also brings stability I don't get with other people though. No exploding "normal" people angry at me for saying something they themselves misheard. Just spilling it out, I don't mean to offend anyone.



mrshappyhands
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17 Jan 2018, 2:26 am

My husband is in the military and currently away. We have three kids with no family nearby. There are days where literally my most intelligent conversation is with children, fortunately they're quite bright, though they are still children.
I find myself so emotionally exhausted from dealing with everything alone that I just can't muster the strength to plaster on a smile and do the whole social small talk or engage in a conversation without fear of saying the wrong thing. So, in those moments I turn into a social hermit for my own sanity. The downside is it leaves me feeling very lonely. It's like being caught in a catch 22.



kraftiekortie
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17 Jan 2018, 11:10 am

When I thought I owed $7,000 in back taxes, and no way to pay it.

They were going to put a lien on our apartment!



TheSilentOne
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17 Jan 2018, 12:56 pm

I wanted to have a small Halloween party a couple of years ago and I invited a lot of people from school and no one showed up. I sat alone all night and ended up eating all of the food I made by myself.


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KathyKitty
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17 Jan 2018, 3:16 pm

Wrong Citizen: You may be lonely but you are certainly not alone. I also feel as if I live in many dimensions at once and don't consider this "real" one to be top priority, mainly because most people are totally absorbed in competing for things I feel are counter-productive to everything I feel really IS important. And I think, for those of us who are both gifted & challenged, we realize this at an early age and when we ask about it, not only do adults not seem to know the answer but they don't appear to understand the question. This is a scary situation for any small child. I truly believe it is at that moment we seem to "shut down," because society having failed us, we are looking for the answers within ourselves. And thus it begins.
But you are not alone. And I'm doubtful, big picture, we are the ones who are "wrong." :)


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Sarahsmith
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17 Jan 2018, 5:03 pm

Ive been alone ever since I moved out of my parents. Got no friends. I get very lonely.



Earthbound_Alien
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17 Jan 2018, 5:12 pm

Pretty much all the tiem considering I am alone all day most days of the week unless I get a starbucks or something.

The world is an unfriendly callous place and humans no longer have humanity. They replaced it with money it seems. That's why people are dying becaues they cant get cancer treatments they need due to lack fo funding of their local authority.



CockneyRebel
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17 Jan 2018, 5:33 pm

The loneliest that I've ever felt was during my last two years of high school. I was doing the hippie thing so that my bullies wouldn't recognize me. I was holding in a lot of secrets those two years.


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livingwithautism
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17 Jan 2018, 6:14 pm

When I'm surrounded by people who are supposed to understand autism and clearly do not.



EverythingAndNothing
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17 Jan 2018, 7:30 pm

A few years ago, I moved into a place by myself, lost my job, and didn't speak to anybody for several months since I had no friends or family. I actually thought this would be an ideal situation since I don't like being around people anyway but I constantly felt like I was losing my mind and I was suicidal just about 100% of the time.

That was by far the loneliest situation that I've ever been in but even once it ended I still felt extremely lonely since I still had no friends and no idea how to make one. I only ever make shallow acquaintances. These days I spend a good chunk of my time watching Youtube videos because hearing other people speak at least lets me feel a little less lonely.



auntblabby
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17 Jan 2018, 7:43 pm

it is a tie, first time was my first bout of homelessness, there is no more lonely a feeling than being destitute with nowhere to turn. 2nd time to tie, was when I was phuqed up but good by a few deer who crossed my path while bicycling up in the hills surrounding my home, it was early evening, dusk, and I was thrown from my bike over the handlebars, hard onto the ground, in a puddle of my own blood, no houses around, just woods with a steep drop-off either side which, had I the rotten luck to have been knocked down either hill, would never have been found again. anyways, with nobody to help me, I had to drag me and my wrecked bike with one hand, leaning on it for support while dragging it, an excruciating process, the approx. 3 miles to home, where I hadda drive myself to the ER. for about a week I had no visitors, not even a chaplain, nobody to talk to. the medicos did their job but did not really talk to me too much. just me in that hospital room with the tv set to keep me company.



starcats
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17 Jan 2018, 8:33 pm

wrongcitizen wrote:
I almost always feel really lonely cause I can't connect with people in a verbal or social sense. I always feel like I'm on an island somewhere, like I'm the sentinalese tribe but if it only had one member. Sorry Sentinalese, you are weird to the rest of us. But anyways, I never really know how to cope with the empty feeling. I also get even more stressed when I really am in a public place. My life has turned more into little semi-realistic fantasies than a single reality. I'm oftentimes different in almost every aspect. In fact, the world itself is different in many of these fantasies. It's more tailored to make sense.

I feel like everyone is literally a fake Sociopath or even less than that, just a basic little machine programmed to have responses to things I say, wearing a social mask and then I think I'm the only real human. The pain isolation brings also brings stability I don't get with other people though. No exploding "normal" people angry at me for saying something they themselves misheard. Just spilling it out, I don't mean to offend anyone.


You sound exactly like me.



CockneyRebel
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17 Jan 2018, 11:44 pm

All the things you all know about me on WP were the things that I was hiding during my hippie stage. Get it? I said stage. lol


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Chronos
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18 Jan 2018, 12:16 am

Sarahsmith wrote:
Ive been alone ever since I moved out of my parents. Got no friends. I get very lonely.


Why don't you move back in with them?



Chronos
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18 Jan 2018, 12:23 am

wrongcitizen wrote:
I almost always feel really lonely cause I can't connect with people in a verbal or social sense. I always feel like I'm on an island somewhere, like I'm the sentinalese tribe but if it only had one member. Sorry Sentinalese, you are weird to the rest of us. But anyways, I never really know how to cope with the empty feeling. I also get even more stressed when I really am in a public place. My life has turned more into little semi-realistic fantasies than a single reality. I'm oftentimes different in almost every aspect. In fact, the world itself is different in many of these fantasies. It's more tailored to make sense.

I feel like everyone is literally a fake Sociopath or even less than that, just a basic little machine programmed to have responses to things I say, wearing a social mask and then I think I'm the only real human. The pain isolation brings also brings stability I don't get with other people though. No exploding "normal" people angry at me for saying something they themselves misheard. Just spilling it out, I don't mean to offend anyone.



I'm typically fairly good at being alone. I do get a little lonely but I'm good at occupying myself and I generally don't get as lonely as the average person....except a while back I found myself getting very lonely to an extent that was not normal for me. It came on fairly gradually and seemed to have come out of nowhere and I thought perhaps I was becoming NT (and if that is what being NT is like, I would prefer not). It turns out though that I had an underlying medical condition and when that was treated, my loneliness reverted to my baseline levels.

This is the second time I've had an illness with an atypical manifestation. I think that might be common with people on the spectrum.



Joe90
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18 Jan 2018, 1:34 pm

I felt the loneliest when I was 13. This is the reason what puts me off having a child of my own, because there's a high risk of my poor child having this awful disorder, and I don't want him or her to feel as lonely as I did as a young teenager. As a parent it is heartbreaking to see your child crying for a friend. :cry:

At school (between the ages of 12 and 14), I knew I wasn't wanted by the other girls in my class. It was clear that they didn't want me around, but because all the girls in my class hung about together in a large group, I wondered why I shouldn't be part of their group and I didn't want to spend every lunch time on my own, so I just stuck with them anyway. But it hurt to know that they didn't really want me there. They didn't speak to me much, or even look at me. Sometimes they did, and I did value those moments. I never really asked them why they didn't like me, because I knew the answer: Because I had this terrible Asperger's s**t. :cry:


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